If Redwall Villains were in the Summer Games...

[Captain Tammo]

With the 2020 games coming up in a few months, and given that summer is in full swing down below the equator, it got me thinking: what if all the baddies from the books partook in some Summer Olympics-style games?

the baddies roster

Representing Redwall, Cluny the Scourge (Greatrat)
Representing Mossflower, Queen Tsarmina Greeneyes (Wildcat)
Representing Mattimeo, Slagar the Cruel (Fox)
Representing Mariel of Redwall, Captain Gabool the Wild (Searat)
Representing Salamandastron, Ferahgo the Assassin (Weasel)
Representing Martin the Warrior, Badrang the Tyrant (Stoat)
Representing The Bellmaker, The Foxwolf Urgan Nagru (Fox)
Representing Outcast of Redwall, Swartt Sixclaw (Ferret)
Representing The Pearls of Lutra, Emperor Ublaz Madeyes (Pine Marten)
Representing The Long Patrol, Firstblade Damug Warfang (Greatrat)
Representing Marlfox, The Shadow Mokkan (Marlfox)
Representing The Legend of Luke, Captain Vilu Daskar (Stoat)
Representing Lord Brocktree, The Earth Shaker Ungatt Trunn (Wildcat)
Representing Taggerung, Chieftain Sawney Rath (Ferret)
Representing Triss, Princess Kurda of Firftguard (Ferret)
Representing Loamhedge, Captain Raga Bol (Searat)
Representing Rakkety Tam, Gulo the Savage (Wolverine)
Representing High Rhulain, Riggu Felis (Wildcat)
Representing Eulalia!, Captain Vizka Longtooth (Fox)
Representing Doomwyte, Leader of the Doomwytes Korvus Skurr (Raven)
Representing The Sable Quean, Commander Zwilt the Shade (Sable)
Representing The Rogue Crew, Captain Razzid Wearat (Wearat)

[close]

There are also tons of Summer Games. For teamed events, you're welcome to make a case of who would be the best team. You can learn more about the events from the official Olympic Games website

Summer Games Roster (alphabetized)

Archery
Artistic Swimming
Athletics (track and field):

• varied distanced races
• decathalon
• discus throw
• hammer throw
• high jump
• hurdles
• javelin throw
• long jump
• marathon
• pole vault
• shot put
• steeplechase
• triple jump

Badmitton
Baseball / Softball
Basketball
Beach Volleyball
Boxing
Canoe Slalom
Canoe Sprint
Cycling BMX
Cycling Mountain Bike
Cycling Road
Cycling Track
Diving
Equestrian / Dressage (handle the scale of this how you will)
Equestrian Jumping (also handle the scale of this how you will)
Fencing
Football (or soccer)
Golf
Gymnastics Artistic
Gymnastics Rhythmic
Handball
Hockey (field hockey, not ice)
Judo
Karate
Marathon Swimming
Modern Pentathlon
Rowing
Rugby
Sailing
Shooting
Skateboarding
Sport Climbing
Surfing
Swimming
Table Tennis
Taekwondo
Tennis
Trampoline
Triathlon
Volleyball
Water Polo
Weightlifting
Wrestling Freestyle
Wrestling Greco-Roman

[close]

So down below, put together your favorite combination and show the forum why things would work out that way. Check out the Extravaganza Events Page for points info and rules. Let the games begin!

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Divin'- Tsarmina vid definitely be rubbish at zat. Zhe vid probably nae e'en make it anyvhere near ze board!

Gulo Ze Zavage vid probably be good at eizer o' ze tva Vreztlin' vonez Ah zink fer zome reason.

Und Ah zink Princezz Kurda vid be very good at Table Tenniz. Probably nae at real Tenniz zough.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Tsarmina wouldn't do too badly at archery. She seems to be a better shot than any of her hordebeasts and she's the only baddie I've come across from the list that has actually used a bow. (though I haven't even read half of the books so I'm not sure)

Rugby- Ublaz Madeyes and his team could be a force to be reckoned with. Ungatt Trunn could probably pick out another competent team from his hordes. That would be a rugby match I'd like to see. (or maybe not, on further consideration)

Javelin throw- Messy. I don't know who would win but I know it will be very, very untidy. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if some baddies 'missed' their targets and 'accidentally' hit one, or more, of the other baddie leaders.

[Booklover]

Note: I haven't read anything after The Taggerung, and I don't know Mariel of Redwall or Salamandastron that well either, having only read them once, and I barely remember Salamandastron, so this is based on the others.

If Ublaz used his hypnotism well, he could probably win most things. It wouldn't always work, and it could be suspicious if he won every event when all the other competitors seem to think they are birds or something (though I think he's intelligent enough to at least try and make it subtle, so more likely he'd just persuade his opponents to do badly, convincingly). He'd need enough time to do it to everybody, and his opponents aren't exactly going to let him. For that matter, most probably all of them will also try and bend the rules, or cheat. If the judges are any good (as well as highly skilled at fighting off beasts trying to bribe or even kill them), then it's quite possible that most, if not all, of the participants would be disqualified for cheating, in which case only those confident they can win without cheating would still be there, in which case they'd probably win by default.

Archery: Out of the ones I know, I don't remember any of those being particularly skilled at archery, though Tsarmina (pre-madness) wasn't bad, and Swartt apparently does archery at some point (but I can't remember how good he was, and his ruined paw won't help). If ones like Vallug Bowbeast and the twin rats in Lord Brocktree (I think it was) were in it, it could be extremely close.

Swimming: Certainly none of them are otters, and some (Tsarmina) wouldn't go anywhere near water. As many pirates in medieval times couldn't even swim and many others also wouldn't be able to, there probably aren't many that would do well in any sort of swimming. Drowning, yes. Swimming, no.

Fencing: This is one that most would certainly be at home in. Cluny, even if his whip wasn't allowed, is better than Matthias. Badrang actually uses the Sword of Martin for a time, but he was no match for Felldoh. Ublaz was well known as a skilled swordsbeast, and against Martin II does well, until stepping on a snake. As mentioned earlier, his hypnotism would definitely help. Damug is Firstblade among Rapscallions, although he cheated, plus I don't think he used a sword when fighting his brother. Vilu Daskar used a scimitar and was quite skilled with it, but he was easily fooled by Luke, and if any of his opponents tried to cheat, he wouldn't necessarily realise, and would therefore lose. Ungatt Trunn was a skilled fighter - good enough to hold his own against a Badger Lord - as well as cunning and strong. So, between Cluny, Ublaz and Ungatt. If Ublaz could use his hypnotism, he'd certainly win, plus he's skilled anyway. Ungatt has the advantage of being a wildcat, and therefore one of the strongest species in Redwall, so if he could get around the hypnotism, or defeat Ublaz before Ublaz had a chance to try it, he'd win. If Ungatt fought Cluny, I think Ungatt would win, mostly because of the species advantage.

[clunylooney]

Archery: Tsarmina
Track and Field: Korvus Scurr (because he is a bird) but Slagar and Mokkan have skill in running away
Football: Gulo the Savage
Weightlifting: Gulo
Wrestling Freestyle: Gulo
Wrestling Greco-Roman: Gulo
Boxing: Gulo
Swimming: Probably either Gabool or Vilu and maybe Raga or Vizka because they are corsairs
Fencing: We have seen and heard of Ublaz's sword skills so Ublaz
Basketball: Either Ungatt or Gulo, they are about the same height which is taller than everyone else
Javelin Throwing: I was thinking swartt (we actually got to see him use a pretty effective javelin) but then I realized that ferahgo would also be good, but he is more aim than length of the throw, so I would say ungatt because he uses a very javelin like weapon, a trident.
Discus: now that is a good one for ferahgo
Tennis and Table Tennis: Kurda would be good at that

[Ripred the Gnawer]

If the judges are any good (as well as highly skilled at fighting off beasts trying to bribe or even kill them), then it's quite possible that most, if not all, of the participants would be disqualified for cheating, in which case only those confident they can win without cheating would still be there, in which case they'd probably win by default.

Yes that makes sense because they are all traitors anyway.

Javelin Throwing: I was thinking swartt (we actually got to see him use a pretty effective javelin) but then I realized that ferahgo would also be good, but he is more aim than length of the throw, so I would say ungatt because he uses a very javelin like weapon, a trident.

I think that Sawney Rath would be good at that