Penguins' barber shop, with doughnuts.

[shisteer of nothing much]

*brings @Kade Rivok  into topic* This one needs a good grooming, Puawai.

Of course, dearie. Put him here. Now, Mr Rivok, is there anything I can get to make you more comfortable? My, my, your fur is rather messy, so it is. It'll be all clean again soon, just you wait.

[Kade Rivok]

(You must've added the mention via an edit, because I didn't get it  )

*Is still asleep, but his once luxurious fur looks... pretty bad, at the moment.  If he was awake, he would likely scream.*

[shisteer of nothing much]

*with the help of a couple of assistants, begins bathing Kade, scrubbing his fur*

*sits down and takes a seat* (Yeah, it was an edit. I realised you might not see the new page since you look at the new replies since last visit page)

[Kade Rivok]

(Well, after I'm through checking new replies, I check the unread posts for new threads.  Thanks though  )

*Begins waking up.*  Oooo, that feels nice.  What's going on?

[shisteer of nothing much]

(Ah, see)
A good scrub, dearie, then we'll see about drying your fur, so we will.  Do you need anything?

[Kade Rivok]

I, uh... I don't know?  Where am I?  And, not complaining, but why am I being scrubbed?  I thought I fell asleep at the diner....

[shisteer of nothing much]

You're being scrubbed because you were terribly dirty. There was a strange slimy substance. Seemed to be acidic too. You'll be fine and your fur will likely come out more fluffy than it was before, so it will. I'm not exactly sure what happened. Teer brought you in and said you needed grooming, which was a bit of an understatement, if you don't mind me saying so, sir. Now, close your eyes so you don't get soap in them.

[Kade Rivok]

My fur?  *Closes his eyes hurriedly to keep soap out.*  Teer, what happened to my fur?

[shisteer of nothing much]

*looks up sheepishly from book* Um... I'll tell you later. Just relax, for now.

[Kade Rivok]

Well, ok then... *Tries to relax, but is still a bit confused and worried.*

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Walks in and sits down*

Say, are the donuts free here?

[shisteer of nothing much]

*looks up from scrubbing Kade* Welcome, dearie. The doughnuts are free if you get a haircut or buy three leeches, so they are. However, the price of both go up if you spell doughnut wrong. *rinses Kade off* There you are, dearie. You're all clean, so you are. Out you come and we'll see about drying you up a bit, so we will.

[Kade Rivok]

O- ok.  *Follows Puawai.*  So... what are the leeches for?

[Ebantu the Kararehe]

You don't want to know.

[shisteer of nothing much]

O- ok.  *Follows Puawai.*  So... what are the leeches for?

Pet turtles, of course. Leeches are ideal turtle food, so they are. Nice and juicy. Now sit here and we'll see about drying your fur, so we will.