Sirius' Crazy, Coocoo, Mad Scientist Lab

[shisteer of nothing much]

*marches into topic wearing a suit and holding a clipboard* Excuse me but, according to clause number 364 of act 9, all chemicals must be tested for safety on a human participant. Our records don't show any proof of your establishment having followed these requirements, so I'm here to update said records.

Nah. The Supreme Court gave me complete jurisdiction over this lab. So if anything, we'd need to update on who gave you permission to trespass.  But feel free to stay! I have some homemade cookies in the back! All of you may take one or two if you'd like. I wouldn't advice touching anything other than those, though. Unless you'd like to be zapped, exploded, or many other things that could happen.

Oh, that's quite alright then. I'm so sorry. I did not know that The Supreme Court gave you permission to bypass the previous laws. Cookies, you say? They sound delicious.

[Sebias of Redwall]

You should try one! Nobody visits here anymore. Not after the, uh... *Looks around* ...accident. But here, take one. Oh, wait. *Wipes off a section of green slime* How did that get there, heh heh. Anyway. Enjoy. *Smiles and watches with pride* I'm sure you'll love it. I baked it ten years ago.

*accidentally breaks something* *hides behind Kade*

*Turns around* AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! *Coat tails flutter as I run over* Noooooooo! What have you done, child?

[Ebantu the Kararehe]

Nothing. *climbs up onto Kade's shoulder to avoid being killed by Seb*

[Kade Rivok]

*Smiles at Seb as Eb treats the Otterbadger like a tree.*  I'm sure it's nothing you can't fix, friend.

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Pushes button, and a metal claw comes out of nowhere, snatching up Eb and bringing her to me* Little one, do you realize what you've done? *Picks up the pieces of the broken something* My Great, Great Grandmother gave this to me when I was just a young lad! I fried my first lizard with it...

[Verdauga]

It still has the clearance tag

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Tear trickles down from a blood-red eye*

[Ebantu the Kararehe]

*Pushes button, and a metal claw comes out of nowhere, snatching up Eb and bringing her to me* Little one, do you realize what you've done? *Picks up the pieces of the broken something* My Great, Great Grandmother gave this to me when I was just a young lad! I fried my first lizard with it...

*squeaks and wriggles, then goes completely still and closes eyes tightly as is held close to Seb*

[shisteer of nothing much]

*is enjoying the cookie* Mm, this is delicious. It would be too dry, but the maggots provide just enough moisture to make it perfect.

[Kade Rivok]

*Begins breaking things in protest.*

[Verdauga]

*Begins breaking protest in things.*

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Snaps fingers and a trapdoor underneath Kade suddenly opens, dropping him into a net far below in one of the underground basements* *Peers over the edge* Do you promise to behave, or should I use you for an experiment?

*Pushes button, and a metal claw comes out of nowhere, snatching up Eb and bringing her to me* Little one, do you realize what you've done? *Picks up the pieces of the broken something* My Great, Great Grandmother gave this to me when I was just a young lad! I fried my first lizard with it...

*squeaks and wriggles, then goes completely still and closes eyes tightly as is held close to Seb*

*Pushes another button and the claw slowly sets Eb on the ground* Don't worry, child.

[Kade Rivok]

*Wall jumps back and forth up to the open trap door and pulls himself up.*  I make no such promise.

[Sebias of Redwall]

Well, that makes things awkward. *A flying boot comes swinging out of nowhere and kicks Kade out of the door. An instant later, a steel wall comes out from the earth, blocking the way in. Sparks from the wall show that it is, in fact, charged with bolts of electricity, while automatic guns on turrets point at the OtterBadger from above*

If you won't behave, will you at least help me make a potion?

[shisteer of nothing much]

Oooh!