LOCK THIS TOPIC, FELLOWS (MOLDY PUPPETS ATTACK WITH THEIR CLAWS & TEETH)

[Booklover]

I'm trying to remember the muffin man song. For some reason, I keep getting it confused with Mary had a little lamb.

[Kade Rivok]

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

[Booklover]

(Its fleece was white as snow.)

[Russa Nodrey]

*Gives lass a muffin.*

*steals muffin*

*Gives Lass another muffin*

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Ah came upon a video o' ze zong. Ach...

[shisteer of nothing much]

Niiiiice.

[Russa Nodrey]

Fancy.

[Kade Rivok]

[Hickory]

*Gives lass a muffin.*

*steals muffin*

*Gives Lass another muffin*

You know, this reminds me of when I was walking downtown to get a muffin from my local confectionary store. It was a dreary winter day and I was still in my black and white outfit from the night prior (I moonlight as a goth girl and had gotten smashed via a copious number of Jägermeisters). Muffins tended to alleviate the worst of my hangover symptoms so I was starving for just one sugary treat to satiate my hunger and stave off my headache. Chains jingling, I entered the store, only to be greeted with a hearty "Howdy miss!" The owner of this particular business appeared to be a goth girl's worst enemy; a country girl born and raised. I attempted to retreat through the door but found my path blocked by a mother pushing in a two-child stroller. I was trapped. Seeing no alternative, I turned to engage in conversation with the proprietor.

"Hi," I said awkwardly, raising a single ring-encrusted hand, my skin blending with the lily white paint on the doorframe. The girl beamed a smile that only exacerbated my already pounding headache.

"Can I help ya find anything?" she asked, oblivious to my fish-out-of-water appearance.

"A muffin," I replied huskily, experiencing a severe allergic reaction to her cheerfulness. She smiled even wider at my response before zipping away across the store floor, leaving me to stumble after her in my four inch platform sneakers.

"Chocolate? Or maybe blueberry?"

"Chocolate." I had to stop myself from falling on my knees and begging, pleading for this plaid-and-jean wearing country girl to just give me my food. I would have done anything... except wait as she rung me up on a register from the Kennedy administration and handed me a neatly wrapped muffin. I choked out a "thank you" before bolting from the shop and making a beeline for the nearest park bench, where I sat down and tore into the packing like a rabid animal so I could get at my food.

And that's why I like muffins, but hate buying them.

(Incidentally, the store later closed after failing its biannual FDA inspection. I last saw the country girl shifting pallets at the local grocer's and talking the head off of the poor high schooler working with her.)

[shisteer of nothing much]

... Welcome back to the forum, Hickory.

[Booklover]

Good to see you, Hickory.

(Is that Ozymandias in your signature?

I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said: two vast and trunkless legs of stone,
Stand in the desert, near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command
Show that it's sculptor well those passions read,
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed,
And on the pedestal these words appear
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings
Look on my works, ye mighty and despair,
Nothing beside remains, round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Should know it off by heart, but I can never recall the seventh and twelfth lines.)

[Hickory]

Yeah, Ozymandias. It's been a minute since I set that as my signature, so it's probably due for a replacement.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

[Kade Rivok]