Jokes

[W0NWILL]

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

You know.

You know who?

AVADA KEDAVRA! HA!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Doctor.

Doctor Who?

[Rainshadow]

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Doctor.

Doctor Who?

  Correct.

[SPSF kodachorm otter7486]

the rev:hey i know a song
shogg:ok
the rev:goes like this 1233346798 o bad stuff o bad stuff in the bucket in the bucket of waste bucket of grapes grapes in the mouth grapes in the mouth makes everything happy
down south 
shogg:hahaha

[Vilu Daskar]

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Vilu Daskar
Vilu Daskar who?
You asked me who was there.

[W0NWILL]

An army doctor, a consulting detective, and a consulting criminal walk into a pool...

And no-one finds out what happens for a year and a half.

[rachel25]

An army doctor, a consulting detective, and a consulting criminal walk into a pool...

And no-one finds out what happens for a year and a half.

hahahaha  lol

[Rainshadow]

An army doctor, a consulting detective, and a consulting criminal walk into a pool...

And no-one finds out what happens for a year and a half.

  So very, very true! 

[naima]

i get some tests back from the doctor and he says; "oh dear, it's terrible news i'm afraid. unfortunately you've got hiv556, and you've only got 48 hours to live." my mum takes me home and she says; "don't worry son, i'll take you out tonight down the casino and we'll have the best night of your life.

so we go down to the casino and i start to pull slots... i win absolutely everything. after half an hour i'm £1,000 up, and climbing. onto black jack, first three hands i've trebled up. onto roulette and a hit lucky 7 and double up again.

the man behind the chip counter says to me; "young man, you're the luckiest man i've ever seen."

i scream back at him; "LUCKY?? YOU THINK I'M LUCKY?? I'M DEAD IN 48 HOURS I'VE GOT HIV556"

and then he says; "bloody hell you've won the raffle as well"




i forget who i saw tell that joke live, but it will forever stay in my memory

[rachel25]

I'm really pleased with myself at the moment. I just finished a jigsaw it only took my five months, on the box it said 2-4 years 

[The Shade]

I don't like my hands. I always keep them at arm's length.

I used to file my nails, but then I thought, what's the point in keeping them?

[Cornflower MM]

I'm not sure if this belongs in the Cellars, but I don't really know, so go ahead and move it if it doesn't. Anyway, this topic is about JOKES!!! You post funny jokes here.
Rule 1. Please don't make jokes at other peoples' expenses.
Rule 2. If someone doesn't get the joke, explain it.
Rule 3. KEEP IT CLEAN!! No jokes about a) cuss words, b) other things that really shouldn't be talked about.
Rule 4. Don't post more than one joke per post. I'm sorry, but that seems dumb to me. Why not make people laugh more? Sorry if that doesn't make sense.
Rule 5. If your joke includes someone's name that you know, disguise it. That's for safety.
That's just about it! All right, here's my first joke:

Harry: This match won't light.
Larry: What's wrong with it?
Harry: I don't know! It lit before!!

[Jukka the Sling]

Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Kid: I want to follow in my dad's footsteps and be a policeman.
Teacher: I didn't know your dad is a policeman!
Kid: He's not, he's a robber.

[Ungatt Trunn]

Why was the math book sad? Because it had so many problems!

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Vot iz nae goin' tae be 'ere tomorrov until February, but iz 'ere na'?

Anzver

Me! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

[close]

[rachel25]

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator! 
(Yes I did that one somewhere else on the forum shot me!)