Jokes

[Romsca]

LOLOLOLOL!!!! 

[Redwaller]

Lol!

[Norham Waterpaw]

It's a lot funnier when drawn as a comic, it takes too long to explain, but it's still funny.

[Dawnwing]

Q: What's a prisoner's favorite punctuation mark?
A: The period. It marks the end of his sentence.

[Norham Waterpaw]

Wow.

[KitrallStreamrippler]

185 aliens walk into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve aliens here" and the aliens say "Watch it buddy, we still have room for one more in our UFO."

185 aliens walk into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve aliens here" and the aliens say "But we're here to serve man!" (any Twilight Zone fans?)

Just one more:
185 aliens walk into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve aliens here" and the aliens say "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"

[W0NWILL]

Nightmare at 20,000 feet? Loved it.

Three men walk into a pet store and by two budgies, a parrot, and a hen. They put them in a crate and take them to a cliff.
The first man pulls out the budgies and puts them on his shoulder. He jumps off the cliff and falls to his death.
The second man takes out the parrot and a shotgun, jumps off the cliff, shoots the parrot, and falls to his death.
The third and final man takes the hen and jumps off the cliff. He falls to his death.
Budgiejumping. Parrotchuting. Hengliding.

[Norham Waterpaw]

185 aliens walk into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve aliens here" and the aliens say "But we're here to serve man!"

Nice, that's a classic episode. So is Nightmare at 20000 feet.

[Ungatt Trunn]

Octapus: Why are you so close to the surface?
Little fish: I'm in High school now!

[cregga rose eyes]

What starts with T, is filled with T, and ends in T.





A: a Teapot

[Rusvul]

A joke I heard: a blonde and a brunette are at a coffee shop, the blonde gets bored ans says "I'm going home, meet you there later." Half an hour later, the brunette gets home, and sees the blonde dangling from the ceiling by a rope around her waist. The brunette asks what she's doing, and the blonde says she's trying to commit suicide. The brunette replies and says that to do that, you put th rope around your neck. "I tried that, but I couldn't breath."

[cregga rose eyes]

A joke I heard: a blonde and a hunter are at a coffee shop, the blonde gets bored ans says "I'm going home, meet you there later." Half an hour later, the brunette gets home, and sees the blonde dangling from the ceiling by a rope around her waist. The brunette asks what she's doing, and the blonde says she's trying to commit suicide. The brunette replies and says that to do that, you put th rope around your neck. "I tried that, but I couldn't breath."

I've heard this one, but the beginning was different.

[WarriorOfMossflower]

Here's an anti joke to revive the thread...

A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.

One more...

Knock knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
To whom.

[Maudie]

I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang, then it came back to me.

Snake 1: Are we venomous?
Snake 2: Yes. why?
Snake 1: I just bit my lip?

Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. They were almost there when they saw a sign that said: "<<Disneyland, Left<<" they started crying and drove home. 

[Tam and Martin]

Here's one. It may seem boring at first but keep reading it gets funny 

A duck walks into a store and asks the storekeeper "Do you have any Grapes?" The storekeeper says "No we don't have Grapes get out we don't serve ducks!" So the duck leaves.

20 minutes later...

The same duck walks into the same store and asks the storekeeper "Do you have any Grapes?" The Storekeeper says "No we don't have any Grapes, Get out we don't serve ducks!" So the duck leaves.

20 minutes later

The same duck walks into the store and asks the storekeeper "D'ya have any Grapes?" The Storekeeper says "No we don't have any Grapes. If you come back again I will nail your feet to the floor" so the duck leaves.

20 minutes later

The same duck walks into the store and asks the storekeeper "D'ye have any nails?" and the Storekeeper says "No I don't have any nails."  And the duck asks again. "Well then do you have any Grapes?"