Jokes

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Knock Knock.
"Who's there?"
The cow goes.
"The cow goes, who?"
No, the cow goes "moo!". The owl  goes "Hoo!"

[Redwall Musician]

Don't know why this joke is even a joke. Wait it's not. But it is funny when a two year old tells you.

Ding-dong.

Who's there?

Fig.

Fig who?

Fig.

[Osu]

Ahaha! Well in that same vein...

I had a tiny preschooler tell me this joke once!

Littlekid: Knock knock!
Osu: Who's there?
Littlekid: ORANGE! (Hysterical laughter)

It was so cute. XD

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

What did the clear blue box with pretty yellow stars and red dots with big friendly letters that say "Have a nice day!" on the side say to the giant, fluffy, and warm green carpet that was made in Texas?

Nothing. Clear blue boxes with pretty yellow stars and red dots with big friendly letters that say "Have a nice day!" on the side cannae talk. And, for that matter, neither can giant, fluffy, and warm green carpets. Even if they were made in Texas.

[Redwall Musician]

Some terrible jokes here:

What do you call a boy when he just came in? Justin!

What do you call a girl with a frog on her head? Lily.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chickens day off.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Terribly stupid joke here.

Knock Knock!
"Who's there?"
Apple.
"Apple, who?"
Apple Tree.

[Lily]

What do you call a girl with a frog on her head? Lily.

Hahaha, I guess I have a frog on my head!

[Tiria Wildlough]

Here's one:
Q. What do you give sick lemons?
A. Lemon-aid!
And another one...
Q.Why did the tomato blush?
A.Because it saw the salad dressing!!!!

[DanielofRedwall]

Knock knock
Who's there?
Loud interrupting cow
Loud inter-
MOOO!

[Matthias720]

I hope y'all don't mind blonde jokes. I don't want to stereotype or offend anyone, but I find blonde joke hilarious!

For example:
What did the blonde name her pet zebra?


Spot!

[DanielofRedwall]

A boy walks in to a restraunt with his pet dog. He makes a bet with the owner that if he could make his dog speek English he would get a free all you can eat lunch. He turns to his dog and asks, "What hangs above a house?"
"Roof!"
"How does sand paper feel?"
"Rough!"
"Who is the fastest runner in my class?"
"Ralph!"
The owner bans the kid for life for cheating. On the way home, the dog asks his owner, "Was it Ralph or was it Jacob?"

[Matthias720]

Good one!


Did you hear about the restaurant that's being built on the moon?

The food's great, but the place has no atmosphere!

[Osu]

Here's a story-type joke...

So this guy walks into a juice bar on the top floor of building, says, "Get me my usual, waitress!" and downs it in one go. Then he marches over to the window, opens it, and jumps out. The other patrons in the place are horrified at first, but then, a few minutes later, the exact same guy walks back in. He orders the exact same drink as before, downs the lot, heads over to the window, and jumps out again. He comes back this time as well, repeats the performance, and after doing this a third time, the other customers stop him to see how he hasn't broken his neck or something.

The guy explains that this drink he gets has a special chemical interaction with sunlight, so when he jumps out the window, it causes the wind to have just enough resistance that it slows him down right before he hits the ground and allows him to float gently to his feet. The other customers are skeptical, but one dude thinks it's marvelous, so he orders the same drink, walks over to the window, jumps out, and ends up in the hospital with a broken leg. As she's calling 911, the waitress says, "You're pretty mean when you're bored, Superman."

......somehow, it was a lot funnier when my dad told it to me... =/

[Redwall Musician]

Blonde joke:

Three people were going to be executed. The first goes up, and as they are about to shot her she say, "Tornado!" Everyone runs and hides.
The next goes up and as they are about to shot her she says, "Hurricane!"And everyone runs and hides.
The blonde goes up and as they are about to shot her she says, "Fire!" and they shot her.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

What did the farmer say when the chicken told him "good day?

"Well how about that, a talkin' chicken!"