Jokes

[eualaia]

sure?

[Mad Maudie]

yeah siure but i already posted a bunch and i forgot one

There once was a blonde a Brunette and a redhead going to get killed by the guillotine  the redhead one goes "I shall die faithfully for my country!" and it stops before her neck and everyone says she was saved and they let her go. the brunette goes and says the same thing and it stops before her neck everyone says she was saved and they let her go the blond goes "You know you have a knot in the chain!"
(Gettit gettit?)

[Nightfire]

Heeheeheee

[Redwallfan7]

How do you drown a blonde?

Glue a photo of a guy she has a crush on at the bottom of a pool or glue a mirror to the bottom of the pool

[Mad Maudie]

How do you drown a blond?

Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

[Ceteruler]

iSick and iTired of everything by apple having an i in front of iit.

[eualaia]

iphone XD

[Redwallfan7]

Two blondes are walking on the sidewalk. One blonde sees a dog. The dog has one of his eyes missing. The blonde turns to the other blonde. She says, "Look at that dog with one eye."

The second blonde covers one eye. "Where?" she asks.

[Nightfire]

Hahahahahaha, that's great! And the one with the i-whatsits. You have a point. Everything by apple always sounds so self-centered.

[Tiria Wildlough]

It's just weird.

[eualaia]

how do you drown a minecraft noob? put a T-shirt saying i porkchop minecraft in the ocean

[Ceteruler]

What do a saxophonist and a lawyer have in common?
Everybody is happy when they close the case.
(I know, that's mean, but you guys are destroying blondes.)

[Dotti]

What's black and white and red all over?

A zebra with a sunburn.

[eualaia]

this is all funny

[Mad Maudie]

Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?

It takes too long to re-train them.


One day a blonde decided to get a cell phone. After talking with the salesman, she finally selected a model and signed up for the service.
Over the next few days she called her friends and gave them her new number.
A few days later while shopping, her phone rang for the first time.
Surprised, she answered it. It was her best friend. Completely dumbfounded, she asked in amazement, "How did you know where to call me?"

A blonde took her car to the body shop after a large hailstorm had left her car badly dented. The busy owner didn't have time to work on her car at the moment, so he thought he would try and see if blondes really were as dumb as these jokes indicate.
"Oh, those dents are pretty small, you can get those dent out yourself by just blowing hard into the tailpipe." he said.
After going home and trying for an hour, she called over her best blonde friend Betty to see if Betty had any ideas.
After hearing about what she was doing she said "That'll never work, you need to close the windows first.

A blonde was shopping when she found a really striking stainless steel thermos. Fascinated, she picked it up examined it, and finally asked the clerk what it was.

"It's a thermos." he said. "It keeps some things hot, and other things cold."
That was all she needed to hear, and she bought the thermos.
The next day, her boss saw the thermos on her desk, as it really was rather striking.
"What's that?" her boss asked.
"It's a thermos." she said. "It keeps some things hot, and other things cold."
"What have you got in it?" her boss queried after a moment.
She happily answered, "I have hot coffee in it for a little later this morning, and really cold iced tea for this afternoon."

On a plane flight from Seattle to Chicago, a blonde was sitting in economy class. About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class. A flight attendant who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move back to economy class because that was what her ticket was for.   The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."

After several attempts to explain to the blonde why she had to return to economy class, the flight attendant gave up. She went to the cockpit and explained the situation to the pilot and co-pilot.   The co-pilot said, "Let me try." He went up to the blonde and politely tried to explain to her why she needed to return to her seat in economy class.
But the blonde only replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."   Frustrated, the co-pilot returned to the cockpit. He suggested that perhaps they should have the airline call the police and have her arrested when they land.
"Wait a minute," said the pilot. "Did you say she's blonde? I can handle this. My wife is a blonde. I speak Blonde." So he went up to the woman sitting in first class and whispered something in her ear.
"I'm sorry," said the blonde, and she promptly got up and returned to her seat in economy class.
"What did you say to her?" ask the astonished flight attendant and co-pilot.
To which the pilot replied, "I just told her that first class isn't going to Chicago."