Jokes

[Redwallfan7]

Why did the cat jump on the computer desk?
He wanted to catch the mouse 

[Tiria Wildlough]

Heeheehee.

[Ceteruler]

I'm searching for a truly funny pun. I haven't found one yet. Any of you got some good ones?

[Dotti]

That camping trip was in tents.  I didn't know if I could survive the pun-ishment. 

[Ceteruler]

*facepalm* I have heard that too many times to count.

[Nightfire]

What do a saxophonist and a lawyer have in common?
Everybody is happy when they close the case.
(I know, that's mean, but you guys are destroying blondes.)

My dad plays the saxophone, and he's GREAT at it!!!!

[Dannflower Reguba]

Navy jet pilot: Yes we did it! We are going faster than the speed of sound!
Copilot: What!?

[DanielofRedwall]

My new favourite type of joke is the anti-joke. Some examples:

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
Knock knock. Come in.
How do you make a clown cry? Kill its family.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? World War II.
What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.
What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
What is brown and sticky? A stick.
What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.
Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was hit by a truck.
Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.
Why did the woman yell at the bin? She was mentally unstable.
Your mother's so poor she doesn't have much money.
Your mother's so fat she should be worried about diabetes and heart problems.
Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Somebody shot it.
A horse walked in to a bar. The barman asked "Why the long face?" to which the horse replied "My wife just died of cancer".
A duck walked in to a bar. The animal rescue squad was called and the the duck was moved to a nearby pond.
What did the duck order at the restaurant? Nothing. Ducks can't talk.
What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground. Apart from the eagle.

I have more, but I think that's enough for now.

[psybox]

caution, floor may be Sparta when wet.
why is a raven like a writing desk?
there is a b in both and a n in neither.


what happened to the third cookie?
i'll leave that for you to figure out.

[MatthiasMan]

Kid: Hey Mom, can I have 20 bucks?
Mom: No. What, do you think I'm made of money?
Kid: Isn't that what MOM stands for?

[Søren]

Q. Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left?
A. Repeat
Q. Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left?
A. Repeat.

See, it just goes on and on!

[Dannflower Reguba]

I actually saw this sign:

Recall Santa:
I didn't get what i wanted.

[Nightfire]

Kid: Hey Mom, can I have 20 bucks?
Mom: No. What, do you think I'm made of money?
Kid: Isn't that what MOM stands for?

Ahahahahahahaahahahahahahaa!!!!!

[psybox]

what do you call a girl with a piano on her head?
Joanna.

[MatthiasMan]

What do you do if life gives you lemons? (this is a joke for all portal fans that have played and beat portal 2) Hehehe. You have to give me the answer.