Project S.L.A.G.A.R

[Skalrag of Marshank]

Heehee. So funny!

[DanielofRedwall]

First of all, Coobreedan, that thing is real.  I think. I know it's the serves as an epilogue to Superstripe... Anyone know if it is actually real? Second of all, the funniest thing I have ever read:

Not so far away, another pair journeyed slowly and cautiously through the expansive wilderness that is Mossflower Woods. One, a hare, worked hard to keep up with his companion, a massive badger, who made his way through the rough terrain briskly and with grim resolve. They had a mission to accomplish, and nothing would stand in the way of their seeing it through.
"Wait up, sah!" the hare cried breathlessly.
"Never!" answered his master. "We can't slow down! Remember, we have a mission to accomplish! And nothing will stand in the way of our seeing it through!"
It is important to note that this duo was not Superstripe the Unrealistic and his trusty hare, Edwin. This badger and hare were completely different creatures. The two parties never met, and to be perfectly frank, this particular group's actions never amounted to much of anything in the broad scope of things.
The two characters just described will not figure into this story ever again.

[Plugg Firetail]

Daniel it's not real. Just try clicking on the link to the regular forums. You can't click on them. You can't even click on the forum rules. I also never heard of heard of a website called this http://redlea.net/pslagar/superfinale/epalog. I mean seriously, it has project slagar in the name!

[DanielofRedwall]

Oh yeah, well noticed! 

[Nightfire]

I just love the Ask Slagar.

[winifred]

I looked at it........................BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH,it was hilarias!!!!!!!!!Especially the anoying vole one!

[eualaia]

whats slagar's email i wanna annoy him

[Tiria Wildlough]

He's all finished up answering questions, but here's his email if you want:
askslagar@gmail.com

[Redwallfan7]

Lol, that site is funny

[redwallgurl]

omg that is really funny site couldnt stop laughing

[eualaia]

haha i sent him a message saying: i am a robot i will kill you with lazerz

[Nightfire]

Well, let us know if he replies to you.

Here is what I wrote to him:

Dear Slagar the Cruel,
> I have a few questions. Please just give me straight answers.
>
> 1. What do you think of Ranguvar Foeseeker? Beacause she's my great-great-great-great aunt.
> 2. Is there a way to enhance a longbow's strength? Because I want to skewer you with an arrow, but you're too far away.
> 3. Am I allowed to shoot you between the eyes with my poison darts? Because I hate you.
> 4. What happened to the fire lizards that lived in Salamandastron? Because no one ever talks about them anymore.
> 5. Hey, mind if I burn down the Dark Forest? That way you'll be forced to leave so I can resurrect you and then kill you again.
> 6. What the heck is 'Slagar' supposed to mean, anyway? Redflash or Mousedeath sounds much cooler.
> 7. Do you mind if I bury your mother underrgroung in Admodeus' cave? Because I hate her.
> 8. How come you're a male fox, but you're a healer? I thought only vixens could be healers.
> 9. Do you think I should get some more weapons? I have a longbow, dirk, and blowpipe, but I think I'll need a sword.
> 10. Do you mind if I kill Matthias? Not that I need your permission, of course.
>
> That mask of yours makes you look like you belong in a circus.
>
> Sincerely,
> Nightfire, Mercenary Squirrelqueen of the Northlands.

And this is what he responded:

Dear Nightmare,

Wow, you Northlanders sure aren't an observant lot, are you? Probably due to your foolishness. Since you're all fools up there, I mean. My stint in the advice column business ended seasons ago when that "Project Slagar" thing was retired. But, what the hellgates, might as well bang out a list of rote numbered insults for old time's sake:

1. I don't think of her. Nobody else does, either. Crimony, you couldn't pick a better ancestor to latch onto?
2. Yeah, I have an idea: point it at somebeast who isn't already dead.
3. I'm guessing your aim is such that I wouldn't have to worry.
4. It's called a "legend", Nightfire. Legends aren't real - there were no such lizards! Just like there never was a Luke.
5. An admirable goal, but I'm pretty sure they fireproofed the place. At least, I think that's why all of these trees seem to be made of aluminum...
6. It's Ragals backwards, of course.
7. Asmodeus is dead as well, you know. And by all means, defile both of their resting places. Get the rest of my enemies while you're at it.
8. I thought only fools wrote in to defunct advice columns! (NOTE: I was right)
9. I think you should get some psychiatric help.
10. You really enjoy threatening the dead, huh? Alright, tell you what: find a way for the dead to come back to life, and I'll give you the first swing at Matthias. Of course, I'll also return from the dead around that time, which means your own life will be dramatically shortened. But then you could just come back again, so... why am I wasting so much brain power on such a patently worthless query? YOU. YOU'RE A FOOL. THE END.

[eualaia]

he didnt even insult me and i must not type the exact message he used my real name that is a secret

[Nightfire]

You could just erase your real name and replace it with your username, but don't edit anything else.

[eualaia]

Dear, mepinator1


I can't tell you how sorry i am to hear that.

Struggling to accept my inevitable lazer death
-Slagar (emeritus)