Corrupt-a-Wish

[Rainshadow]

  Granted, but there's so much lag that whenever you try to play, you get killed by creatures because you can't attack them.

  I wish that I could have breakfast.

[Mattio]

granted but all the food is maggot ridden

[Skyblade]

I wish I had less homework.

[Mattio]

granted but now you have it all for class work

I wish that I could be Marius in Les Miserables the musical on Broadway

[Rainshadow]

  Granted, but you get killed in the story.

  I wish that I could meet Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman.

[Mattio]

granted but they're zombies

I wish that nothing ever happened to me or anything I own or any of my wishes or my family

[Rainshadow]

  Granted, but you get really bored from nothing happening to you.

  I wish I could be a guest star on the TV show Sherlock.  (That would be awesome!)

[Mattio]

granted but they mess up and forget to air your show

I wish I could have pizza for dinner (I already did)

[Rainshadow]

  Granted, and you enjoy it so much that you decide to go back in time to eat it again, so you eat the pizza again, but that creates a paradox, making the future you vanish and you don't get the pizza in the first place because future you ate it.  (Did ya get all that?  )

  I wish that I owned a working TARDIS.

[Mattio]

granted but you only have it for 5 seconds which you see it and you're walking towards it then it disappears

[Rainshadow]

  I wish I could listen to the Sherlock soundtrack all day long.

[Tam and Martin]

Granted but it.....it.....doesn't work

IWIC travel to the moon

[Rainshadow]

  Granted, but unfortunately you have no oxygen, so you die.  On the moon.

  I wish that I could eat a better dinner than a Costco dinner.

[Mattio]

granted but it's poisonous
I wish I could meet everyone on the forum in real life

[WoodenSpoon]

Granted, but we turn out to be lizard people, bent on enslaving everyone on this pitiful planet as soon as we stop being distracted by your authors. And you are the anti-distraction...

I wish I had a working Time Top, so that I could go back to the days before logic was invented.