Corrupt-a-Wish

[James Gryphon]

(She).

Granted! It runs so fast that you're unable to keep up with it. You run out of breath chasing it, and it disappears over the horizon. By evening it's made its way to another state.

I wish all the laundry in the house was clean.

[Delthion]

Granted, you accidentally load the washer with every piece of clothing in the house. Unfortunately this triggers an odd mess-up. The washer won't stop running!

I wish that I could find a good stick for my dog.

[Rusvul]

Granted. You find the best stick in the world, and your dog leaves you so it can spend more time with the stick. They walk off into the woods and you never see them again.

I wish my friends were always reliable in showing up to roleplay.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but they all treat it as a normal board game, and play like munchkins, trying to "win".

I wish that I never had writer's block.

[Delthion]

Granted! You never have to worry about having a block to write with!

I wish that there were more hours in the day.

[Izeroth]

 Granted. Two more hours are added to the day, and both of those hours are marked for school.

I wish that I had an infinite supply of awesome things to say.

[Delthion]

Granted, but because you always steal the punchline for other peoples jokes because you know exactly what their going to say, everyone hates you.

I wish for my book to be a reasonable length.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. Your editor chops out 90% of your material, and they publish it as a children's book.

I wish we were never out of potato soup like I'm eating right now.

[Delthion]

Granted, but it floods the world permanently and everything dies, including you.

I wish that my book would be a reasonable length. (By that I mean decently long.  )

[James Gryphon]

Granted again. They don't edit it, instead using the money to hire world-famous authors to write notes and commentary criticizing your work. When they release it, everyone thinks the notes are hilarious. It becomes a best-seller, but you don't get as much money as any of the other writers they hired.

I wish I could sleep tonight.

[Delthion]

Granted, you sleep and sleep and sleep. Before you know it you've slept a decade away!

I wish that I had nothing to wish for because I had everything that I needed.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. You have everything you need: a place to sleep where the rain won't fall on you, a nutritious (if bland) diet of gruel, and work to keep yourself occupied and to profit mankind by. You don't have much of anything that someone might want, but are content with the knowledge that such excesses are the product of greed and lust.

I wish that I had a working time machine.

[Delthion]

Granted, it works all day at a factory.

And I don't think being a monk would be that bad, I might even enjoy it!

I wish to live on the green plains and in the lush forests of Ireland.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. With no real cover, the rain and dew fall on you every day. You live off of berries, mushrooms, and insects. You refuse human contact, and gradually go insane. Eventually, you become a local legend as "that crazy old forest hermit".

I wish that this house was clean.

[Delthion]

Granted, no one lives in it!

I wish that I had nothing to wish for.