Corrupt-a-Wish

[LT Sandpaw]

Granted, you get the rare kind from India that they make with caterpillars and poison ivy (I have no idea if they have poison ivy in India) and boiled green eggs for a sweetener. BTW they don't have food coloring for the eggs.
You however know none of this so you happily drink it.

I wish for a pet bat.

[Delthion]

Granted, but one day you have to swing it at a burglar, and the bat snaps.

I wish that I could wake up earlier.

[LT Sandpaw]

Granted now instead of your usual time you wake up at three in the morning every time.


I wish for a better TV

[Maudie]

Granted, but all the tv programs have now been cancelled. And movies are now illegal.

I wish for a chocolate kiss. ( Ha! Just try and corrupt that! )

[Rainshadow]

  Granted!  You're about to eat a chocolate bar, and suddenly it gains sentience and starts to kiss you passionately.  Disturbed by the fact that not only were you just kissed by a sentient chocolate bar, but YOU ALMOST ATE A SENTIENT CHOCOLATE BAR, you put it down and walk away, your stomach hungering for chocolate that you refuse to eat.

 I wish that all my acne problems would go away and I'd have clear (as in blemish-free, not transparent) skin.

[Maudie]

What a terrible first kiss, Lol.

Granted. You now have skin so smooth that no makeup will stay on. Oh, and your face is dripping.

I wish for a tan.

[BadgerLordFiredrake]

Granted, but it's over a period of decades, and the UV exposure gives you skin cancer.

I wish I never needed to use sunscreen, my skin wasn't affected by UV rays, and my skin would stay the same as it is now.

[LT Sandpaw]

Granted! you now live underground.


I wish for a brand new guitar.

[SilentSam]

Granted! It breaks once you get it.
I wish that I could get back at ALEC. 

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but they lobby the government to pass a bill that outlaws your use of the Internet and throws you into prison. The provision requiring your arrest is a rider on a bill about funding school lunches, so when a legislator objects to the part restricting your rights, they accuse him of wanting to starve the children. So the bill passes, the President signs it, and you're due to begin your life term in three weeks.

I wish that all this stuff in the garage was cleaned, sorted, organized, and put into the garage, and that all the trash was thrown away, without having to work any more at it.

[SilentSam]

Okay, but you have to pay $1000000000000000000000000000°°0°0000009876543211234567890 to do it.

[Izeroth]

 Because you wished for nothing, you (and everything else) get erased from existance.

I wish the news wasn't always depressing.

[BadgerLordFiredrake]

Granted, so there's no news.  Ever.

I wish that this wish could never be corrupted.

[SilentSam]

Granted! But I don't have logic so it is corrupted.

[James Gryphon]

Granted; you're sucked into a black hole.

I wish that my headache was worse.