Corrupt-a-Wish

[James Gryphon]

Granted. Each tiny little morsel is extremely delicious, but they only last for less than one bite. You eat all the Redwall fare, and, as the Abbey and its inhabitants are tiny compared to you, have plenty of room to spare. You eat everything in Redwall's stores. They go hungry and begin to starve thanks to your human-sized appetite.

I wish that we never had to go shopping.

[Mhera]

Granted. You never actually have to out and shop, because now you live in a Walmart.

I wish I were ambidextrous

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but your hands are always covered with a butter-like substance that never comes off, no matter how much you wash it or touch other objects. You constantly drop things, especially if they're breakable.

I wish that gasoline was non-polluting, easily renewable, and free.

[Hickory]

Granted. The gasoline must be pumped from across the galaxy and takes years to reach Earth.

[Maudie]

Since you didn't make a wish I will assume you wish to watch everyone you care about die slowly and painfully. Granted.

I wish I could meet the forum members in real life.

[Søren]

Granted, but they're nothing like they're forum selves, and leave you mental disturbed.
I wish biscotti was softer.

[SilentSam]

Granted, but you have to collect them and you do the math.
I wish I could have no school.

[Delthion]

Granted, you grow up to be homeless and know literally nothing about anything and die of ignorance.

I wish to eat.

[Rusvul]

Granted. You now have the ability to exclusively consume THE SUFFERING OF OTHERS.

I wish this pointless thread would cease to exist.

[James Gryphon]

It can be granted, but to make it happen you'll have to be gagged.

I wish this dog would quit moaning.

[Hickory]

Granted. The dog starts growling.

I wish I got all A's in school.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, you ace everything. Unfortunately, a computer bug erases all of and only your scores. When they go to reinsert your data, they assume you cheated. There isn't enough evidence to send you to juvenile detention, so they just give you a failing grade and force you to stay behind a year.

I wish I hadn't forgotten my ID.

[Hickory]

Granted. You forget your ID number

I wish I commanded the army.

[Mhera]

Granted. But you're awful at it and get impeached (because the commander of the army is the president).

I wish dinner will be tasty

[Delthion]

Granted, you have Mary and Burt for dinner and they're delicious!

I wish that I was sick until tomorrow afternoon.