Corrupt-a-Wish

[Mhera]

Granted, but you're not sick enough to miss whatever it is you want to miss.

I wish I never had to floss.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but now your teeth decay so fast that you can watch it happen over a period of hours, so you have to brush them immediately after ingesting or eating anything, no matter how small, and for sugary foods, even between bites. You go through a tube of toothpaste a day, and in spite of your best efforts, you're found to have tons of cavities every time you go to the dentist.

I wish that more members would come on and post.

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Granted, but they are all spammers and hackers and the mods have to spend years trying to clean them up while all the legit members move to a new redwall forum and never come back. (The person who is in charge of everything, make this never come true plz)

I wish The Mask would stop posting disturbing stuff when you forget to write a wish.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, now everybody else does.

I wish that all the staff and old staff were active.

[Skyblade]

Granted, but they PM you constantly - excessively constantly, about random topics such as their pets and their dreams. Once, they send you so many PMs at one time that your electronic device freezes and promptly crashes. Then it defies the laws of physics and explodes.

I wish I was a better person.

[Mhera]

Granted, but you didn't describe by what standard you measure better, so you actually become better but it's according to a worldview that's not your own and is contradictory to your current values.

I wish that I could remember my American history lessons.

[Delthion]

Granted, but everything else becomes a blur so you don't remember were your American history lessons take place!

I wish for an Irish Wolfhound.

[Skyblade]

Granted, but since you didn't specify, you get one that is dead (That sounds a bit morbid though)

I wish I could play my musical piece faster and still correct.

[Delthion]

Granted! You can play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." amazingly well!

I wish for a house in which I can say: "We have you in the west wing."

[Eulaliaaa!]

Granted! But it collapsed when you opened the door.

I wish I could go to Redwall.

[Delthion]

Granted, you go to a house that has a red wall, you stare at it for hours making everyone think that you are insane. You continue staring at it for days until the occupant of the house goes to bed. Upon waking up he finds that you are still staring at the red wall. He calls the police who arrest you, then when being dragged away you become quite vicious and scratch and bite at the officers. THis earns you a longer sentence, but your lawyer (without your approval) pleads insanity. Then you end up in an asylum, where electro-static shock is widely recognized as the cure for all ailments!

I wish to visit Middle-Earth!

[Søren]

Granted, welcome to the core. The middle of the earth. It's molten rock, so dress light.
I wish bar b que was clean to eat.

[Delthion]

Granted, it does not curse or do any unclean things while you are eating it!

I wish that If I Posted Capitals For the Start Of Each Word It Would Be Recognized As The Greatest Idea In The Galaxy!

[Søren]

Granted, but you make the biggest mistake and take back your idea. Now no one trust you and thinks your stupid.
I wish people weren't so loud when walking down the hallway.

[Delthion]

Granted, now you are deaf, but there is a constant throbbing in your head, it is very very very loud! It doesn't stop ever and you cannot sleep at all and eventually die of sleep deprivation.

I wish for a magical prince of fish!