Corrupt-a-Wish

[Delthion]

Granted! You never know about them and everyone, because you are unaware of your problems, hates you.

(And by the way James, she doesn't have fleas, just dry skin. )

I wish that I would warm up.

[Wot, wot!]

Granted, you get so warm that you overheat and pass out and have to go to the hospital.

I wish I could take a nap instead of Orchestra

[Eulaliaaa!]

Granted, you fall asleep in orchestra class. The music they are playing is very intense and gives you nightmares, the nightmares are so horrible at you can't sleep for days. You never fall asleep in music class again...

I wish I could go camping up in the mountains for a week.

[Skyblade]

Granted! At the end of the week, you fall off the mountains to your death ()

I wish I could easily remember anything I wanted to.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but you also remember things you didn't want to. All the horrible events in your past -- that grape you stole when you were five, that time someone called you a fathead, the time your mother yelled at you for breaking a vase -- come back to mind, and stay there. Your life becomes unbearable, as you constantly remember terrible events as though they just happened. You run away from home, trip over a curb, and die.

I wish that I could throw a basketball into a basketball hoop from any distance.

[Mhera]

Garanted! You're able to make a basket from any distance, even half way around the world. However, the strength needed to volly a basketball 10,000 miles is absolutely immense. Since you instantly gain this throwing ability, you also instantly gain 1,134 pounds of extra muscle. This would all be fine and dandy except for the fact that the human body was not designed to be able to carry that kind weight; you start getting joint pain immediately and are bed ridden whenever you're not throwing basketballs. And because all that muscle was packed on instantaneously your epidermis never has the chance to gradually stretch out; you literally burst out of you skin. Also, the amount of food needed to maintain that muscle  means that you spend all day every day eating. Because you have to stick to the highest calorie foods possible you never taste water again (I hope you can tolerate three gallons of chocolate milk per day).

I wish that I knew what my ACT score is.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. Incredibly, you managed to get a 1. At first, your friends and family are shocked. Then, they assume that you deliberately got all of the answers wrong, and get angry at you for wasting your time. You do better retaking the test, improving your score by 14 points, but your parents are still angry, and stop speaking to you.

I wish that I had a jar of good hot salsa that replenished itself after being emptied.

[Mhera]

Granted! The jar holds exactly 1/2 teaspoon of salsa. Once it is completely empty it refills, but the key word there is completely. Good luck finding an implement small enough to scrape the jar totally clean.

I wish money grew on trees.

[Eulaliaaa!]

Granted, but it starts raining every week, ruining the money before it has a chance to grow. Now you have a bunch of paper in your yard and your neighbors complain about it constantly.

I wish I could go to Redwall whenever I wanted.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but every time you do, it's being attacked by vermin hordes. The Redwallers eventually begin to associate you with these attacks, and you become something of a boogeyman to them. They make a portrait of you and hang it up on the wall opposite Martin's, so that they'll know to recognize you and try to cast you out if you visit.

I wish that my bed didn't need to have the sheets, blanket, etc. put on it again.

[Mhera]

Granted! You now sleep on a bed of nails. Which I've actually heard can be quite comfortable if you lay on it right, so as long you sleep flat on your back and don't move the worst thing that can happen is you'll just be a little chilly from having no blanket.

I wish it would rain tomorrow.

[Delthion]

Granted! But unfortunately it is a kind of rain that reacts with your DNA and genetically mutates you. You become a hideous monster with four arms ending in dragon-like talons, you run on all of your six talons and have yellow eyes that are extremely wide, you are always starving and consume human flesh, unfortunately, the genetic mutation made your brain the size of a walnut, you eventually starve to death in a forest and are found many years afterwards and the scholars realize that you were the hideous monster mentioned in many books. They put your skull on a poll and hang it over a wall in a demonstration to others like you.

I wish for a fixed Wii!

[James Gryphon]

ninja'd: Granted. It rains in Seattle, the tropical rainforests, and all across Japan. However, not a drop of water falls where you live.

Granted, but as soon as you turn it on, you realize why it works so well -- it's not yours. All of your account info, downloaded games, etc. are lost forever. Also, unknown to you, it was mistakenly equipped with an experimental solid hologram projector, so the moment you fail to dodge one of Bowser's fire bolts, the bolt comes out of the screen and fries you to a crisp. Your family comes home to find nothing but your skeleton sitting in front of a "game over" screen.

I wish that this McDonalds tea cup wasn't almost empty.

[Delthion]

Granted! It's a literal geyser! Unfortunately it's hot tea, and it sprays you in the face every time you try to drink it and floods your house.

I wish that everyone would use perfect grammar!

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but tehy din't youse priper spellong.

I wish that sequels to things were never worse than the originals.