Corrupt-a-Wish

[Hickory]

Granted. You and the rest of the general public, however, lie about what you want from them. They politicians no longer use deciet and lies, and they completely trust you. (and your lies)

I wish my dog would love me a little more than my othher sibling.

[Delthion]

(I feel the same way! Even though she's personally my dog, I am very jealous. )

Granted! Your dog loves you so much that it picks you up in it's mouth and buries you in the back yard!

I wish that I didn't have cabin fever.

[Skyblade]

Granted, somebody comes and steals your copy of Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Cabin Fever

I wish I got a 2400 on the SAT and 36 on the ACT

[Mhera]

Granted! But you get those scores on practice tests. Your confidence bolstered by these results, you stop studying a month before the test dates. You go into the actual tests feeling invincible, and suffer the results of this overconfidence by not trying at all on the test, believing that whatever answer you put down is without a doubt right simply because you can't be wrong and don't check your work. You get an 1120 and 13 on the SAT and ACT, respectively.

I wish I could be totally alone for a few days.

[Wot, wot!]

Granted. You are totally alone for a while, but it's because you're lost on a hike. (Hope this never happens!!)

I wish my dog would sit by me, not just because I have food :p

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but it keeps trying to lick your clothes and hands. Also, whenever you go to get up, the dog is in front of you and you trip over it.

I wish that I could save and load at points in my life, to undo mistakes that I make.

[Izeroth]

 Granted, but you accidentally delete all your happy memories in the process. With no happy or sad memories, you become neutral and emotionless to everything.

I wish I could share memories with other people.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. Unfortunately, you do this involuntarily. Your life is an open book for everyone you meet, and they know all your embarrassing, unpleasant and untoward thoughts and memories. Needless to say, your social status plummets, as very few people who know what you're really like wants you around them. You end up having to work from home, and never interact in person with anyone but your pets, who couldn't care less what you think or remember so long as you keep them fed.

I wish that I could turn pain off and back on at will.

[Banya]

Granted.  You can turn the pain of heartbreak on and off at will, but by hardening your heart through his activity you become withdrawn, reclusive, and eventually misanthropic.  No one enjoys your company and your former friends stop inviting you to social activities, trying to distance themselves from you.  When you switch the pain of heartbreak on again, you realize that the pain is amplified and is the pain of all the time you spent without feeling.  You nearly die of a broken heart, but to cling to life you choose to turn off the pain, separating yourself from joy and companionship forever.

I wish that I were even the slightest bit athletic and could contribute more to my team.

[Mhera]

Granted! You're very athletic, as in you're fairly agile, can run forever, sprint without hurting yourself, have good coordination, fall repeatedly without getting hurt, and overall be a strong, durable athlete. Unfortunately this only applies to sports your friends don't play, like roller blading and distance running. While you contribute a lot to your team in the form of encouragement, you are mediocre at best when it comes to actually playing. You are now the most athletic below average player there is.

I wish that bananas would stay that perfect level of ripeness forever instead of getting all brown and gross within a day or two.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but the reason why they stay fresh is because there's so many preservatives and chemicals in it that even bacteria won't touch them. You really should have taken a hint from that, but you eat them anyway. On the plus side, the human body is very resilient, and you don't have many overt physical symptoms... aside from easier bruising, no tolerance to sunlight, constant dizziness, and kidney and liver conditions. But besides all of that, you're mostly okay.

I wish that I never got out of breath.

[LT Sandpaw]

Granted. But to grant your wish I take away your lungs and give you gills, you are now forced to live underwater for the rest of your life.

I wish I could teleport

[Eulaliaaa!]

Granted, but you always teleport to a place you've never been, and you can't control where you go. After a few tries, you begin to panic and try to teleport back to your house. You end up teleporting into a wall and die.

I wish I could be Redwall' s Abbey warrior.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. You're the first, and last, vermin to become Abbey warrior. You serve the Abbey seemingly faithfully for several seasons, but in their hour of greatest need, you betray them by opening the gates to a horde, and then defile the Sword of Martin by using it against innocent creatures. Unfortunately for you, you are killed when you confront a mole, fall into a pit it dug, and get impaled on a stake. The mole takes the sword from your dead paws, saves Redwall, and succeeds you as Abbey warrior.

I wish that city and government bureaucracies functioned efficiently instead of getting stuck in miles of red tape.

[Hickory]

Granted. They get stuck in yellow tape, and operate in a mderattely good fashion.