Corrupt-a-Wish

[alexandre]

Granted, instead they are brutally tortured.

I wish for candy

[Amarith Waterspring]

Granted, it's all poisoned.

I wish for good grades.

[alexandre]

Granted you did not specify who the good grades were for, just that you wished for them, No matter how hard you try you always get C's and you have to watch everyone else get straight A's.

I wish the old forum was back up

[Amarith Waterspring]

Granted, It is up for one minute and then crashes completely forever.

I wish for a chocolate pie to be placed on the kitchen counter for me to eat.

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Granted. However, the pie is covered with maggots, flies, cockroaches, and ticks, and a yellowish-green viscous pus that slowly oozes from the bottom. You approach it with revulsion, when it bursts open, depositing the aforementioned insects and pus all over your house, to reveal a massive dead spider carrying hundreds of spider babies on its back, which then proceed to run around all over your house and cause mayhem.

I wish that all my homework was done for me correctly.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but ye are zick ze day ye 'ave tae turn it in zae ye get a 0.

Ah vizh zat ziz "Rezident" being vid ztop 'avin' zeir mail zent tae uz.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but now you don't get any mail! It's all sent to some guy in Des Moines, and he's an identity thief. He steals your identity and runs up $10,000 worth of expenses on artificial candy canes, which he sends to your house for storage.

I wish I was Sword Officer.

[Hickory]

Granted. Cavalry officer James Gryphon of the Confederate States charges into battle with his saber held aloft, ready to slice off some unsuspecting Union soldiers head. Seconds after starting into a gallop, an artillery shell blows your horse out from underneath you, and a Union sharpshooter ends your life rather quickly.

I wish I could do a perfect Rogue One rewrite.

[James Gryphon]

I wanted to be the one and only distinct character of Sword Officer, not just a sword officer.

Anyway...granted. It's titled "Prologue to A New Hope". After the classic 20th Century Fox lead-in and dramatic introduction text, it consists of two scenes. In the first scene, a strange ship of a type we've never seen before docks with Tantive IV and a nondescript guy hands Leia a credit card and says, "Hi Leia, here are the plans to the Death Star". Then the guy gets back on his ship, and it undocks and fly away.

In the second scene, the strange ship is blown up by an Imperial Star Destroyer.

Roll credits.

I wish that I was born a different person (with the caveats of still being born to my parents at the same point in time).

[Groddil]

Granted. You are now your long lost brother. In your original life as James Gryphon, your parents never told you that you brother was a dangerous psychopath, and was executed when you were 4.

Now that you and him are the same person, you spend the first 25 years of your life being a problem child and murdering people, and are killed by firing squad.



I wish that I could get top marks in all my classes without even having to come to school.

[Hickory]

Granted. You qualify for the highest levels of standardized testing for colleges, and study for those, confident that you'll ace them like you did your classes. However, since testing isn't a class, you fail miserably, and your fame dies with it.

I wish I could win a game of Stellaris.

[Groddil]

We don't have "standardised testing."

[Feles]

Granted, you win that one match, and then the game disc explodes.

I wish i had $2.00 more than i have now.

[Groddil]

Granted. But it's Australian dollars. You now have $1.51 USD more than you originally have. Satisfied?

I wish that Australia would stop selling our uranium to everyone else, and use it to make our own nuclear arsenal and use it to threaten the UK into letting us leave the Commonwealth.

[Maudie]

Granted. Unfortunately, your threats didn't convince the UK, so you tried to nuke them but it backfired and blasted the world into oblivion.

I wish to come in first place at the next Speech and Debate Tournament.