Corrupt-a-Wish

[The Witessss]

(actually i have family there and they are actually fine and stable without the problems you are mentioning.. actually, some go there all the time, some live there all the time, but they don't invite us. what a shame.  )

granted. you are no longer lazy, but now you over work yourself and die from exhaustion.

i wish my dad would teach me Spanish.

[Sebias of Redwall]

Granted, but your dad taught you Spanish by trying to knock some sense in you with a baseball bat.

I wish I could live in Redwall Abbey.

[Tungro]

You do, as a rat and are madde to slave in the kitchens

I wish I was better at a lot of things

[Sebias of Redwall]

Granted. but you've only gotten better at acting like a toad. 

I wish I could fly.

[The Witessss]

granted. you are re-introduced to jumping.

I wish I could just become a lawyer without having to go through law school (not that i'm there yet, just hoping for the future)

[Tungro]

You become a lawyer without having to go through law school but you become one of those lame accident lawyers you see on the billboards.

I wish I was not so good at procrastinating.

[Sebias of Redwall]

Granted, but now you can do anything besides what you started doing. ie tripping, laughing, drinking, etc.

I wish I had a magic staff (that worked)

[The Witessss]

you het your magic staff and use it, but are then burned at the stake for witchcraft.

I wish my hair was red and curly.

[Sebias of Redwall]

Granted. But your hair is red because it's on fire! (Okay that's using fire twice in a row but it was all I could think of) 

I wish I had a million dollars (In real money)

[The Witessss]

I was going to say monopoly money but..

granted. the next day you are robbed and you lose all your money, not just the million.

I wish I had some chocolate right now.

[Sebias of Redwall]

Granted. But before you could eat it, it had melted and fell to the ground.

I wish I could have a jet. (This aught to be good) 

[The Witessss]

you receive a jet but it is the size of a matchbox car.


I wish I had a blue giraffe.

[Sebias of Redwall]

Granted, but it's a toy giraffe.

I wish I had been invited to Wites and Tungro's wedding ... or I wish I could play better at soccer. (You can choose)

[Tungro]

Granted, but it's a toy giraffe.

I wish I had been invited to Wites and Tungro's Sheevie's wedding

You are invited but I kill you the second you walk through the door.
I wish Del would hurry up and get back into the fray

[The Witessss]

it is not even me and him, it is (so they think) me and Sheev.

you are NOT invited because your invitation was never sent because it is NOT HAPPENING. HINT, HINT.
Del comes back in but he walks right out again without posting aaannyyytthhhiiinnggg.

i wish i had a mermaid.