Corrupt-a-Wish

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted but your nuclear stuff malfunctions and destroys you and everything in the near vicinity.

I wish the national anthem had more verses.

[Booklover]

Wish granted, but it doesn't matter, because nobody learns more than the first verse of their national anthem anyway. For all future verses they mutter something vaguely to the same tune then remember the last line (the one that is repeated in all the verses).

I wish that the above wasn't true.

[Kade Rivok]

Granted.  Now everyone learns all the verses of their national anthems.  National anthems are such a big deal now that countries compete to have the longest anthems that can be correctly memorized and sung by humans.  Tensions flare and eventually WWIII is upon us.

I wish I hadn't exploded earlier.  It was very uncomfortable.

[Booklover]

Wish granted. History has now changed so that the room you were in exploded instead.

I wish that instead of national anthems, we just had the Demon Pox song. For those of you who don't know it, here it is:

Demon pox, oh demon pox
Just how is it acquired?
One must go down to the bad part of town
Until one is very tired.
Demon pox, oh demon pox, I had it all along—
Not the pox, you foolish blocks,
I mean this very song—
For I was right, and you were wrong!

[shisteer of nothing much]

Wish granted but I decide to squash you as punishment for ruining New Zealand's national anthem.

I wish I could sleep standing up.

[Kade Rivok]

Granted, you sleep standing up, but your legs tend to take you random places while you sleep.  You never know where you'll wake up.

I wish I had a friendly crocodile pet

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted. Good part: You have a friendly crocodile pet. Bad part: You have a friendly crocodile pet.

I wish poetry was easier to write.

[Kade Rivok]

Granted.  Poetry is now easier to write... for everyone else.  Not you though. 

Cool, I have a friendly crocodile pet!  Now I wish he had a tiny top hat, which he loves to wear!

[Booklover]

Wish granted, but who says the crocodile is friendly towards you, and therefore hasn't tried (or succeeded) to eat you?

I wish buses weren't late.

[Kade Rivok]

*How dare you talk about my friendly crocodile pet with a tiny top hat like that!  Fluffy loves me and I love him!*

Granted, buses are no longer late, nor are they early.  They arrive precisely when the mean to.  (whether their timing is convenient or not for you, though, is an entirely different story) **EDIT - @Booklover  I JUST saw your other post in the ask a question game this is too perfect**

I wish my friendly crocodile pet, who is of course friendly to me *glares at Booklover*, with a tiny top hat had a pair of the most awesome sunglasses so that everyone would know that he was the most awesome and that I'm awesome for having him as a pet.

[Booklover]

Wish granted, but they get jealous of your awesomeness and so steal your crocodile pet, which dies and they make it impossible for you to get another crocodile.

I wish that my favourite fictional characters (a list too long to write) were all real.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted. Unfortunately, some of your favourite characters are very accurate with a bow and take a disliking to you.

I wish that people could quote things properly.

[Kade Rivok]

Granted, but now people can only talk in quotes, and so nothing new is ever said again.

I wish hamsters could fly.

[Booklover]

Granted. Unfortunately, some of your favourite characters are very accurate with a bow and take a disliking to you.

I wish that people could quote things properly.

NOOOO! WILL! HOW DARE YOU SHOOT ME! Actually, I guess it could be some other people. HALT! GILAN! SIMON! ANYBODY ELSE WHO CAN SHOOT A BOW!
That is, Will Treaty, not Will Herondale. Sadly. And I'd definitely have Magnus and Tessa, but I'm less sure about Will, so he might not even be there.

Wish granted, but the hamsters don't know that they can fly, so none of them ever try until they're falling off a cliff and it's too late.

I wish that everybody understood the awesomeness of penguins.

[Kade Rivok]

*What is with the penguin cult on this site, I swear*

Granted.  Everybody understands, but at the same time, penguins stop being awesome.

I wish I didn't eat Gobstoppers at an alarming rate whenever I have them near me.