Corrupt-a-Wish

[Kade Rivok]

Granted.  No twist, the world is now a better place.

I wish good tasting things didn't have so many calories -_-

[Booklover]

Granted. However, supplies of all foods mysteriously stop and you're now starving to death.

I wish for world peace forever.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted but the way it's achieved is ISIS take over.

I wish computer mice had tails.

[Kade Rivok]

Granted.  They have tails, and all the other features of regular, living mice as well, making them quite difficult to use for computer purposes.

I wish my computer mouse would stop running away from me.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted. Your computer mouse is now chewing on your nose.

I wish computer mice were actually computer rabbits.

[Kade Rivok]

Granted, your computer rabbit is now chewing on YOUR nose.  (Hah!)

I wish I had my nose back.

[Booklover]

Granted. However, that only happens after you were sent to Azkaban because they mistook you for Voldemort. Because of the terribleness of the HP prison system, you aren't let out even then.

I wish book characters weren't so stupid sometimes.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted. The villains are now highly intelligent and always manage to beat the good guys, turning every story into a tragedy.

I wish characters would cooperate with the author's plans. (not looking at anyone in particular, of course. *cough, cough,*Edward*cough, cough*)

[Booklover]

Granted. They now do nothing because the authors rely on spontaneous improvisation and have no plans.

I wish that protagonists were always as likeable or more likeable than the villains. Which Edward are you referring to?

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted. The protagonists stay the same but the villains are now completely pathetic. (I'm referring to the Edward, Scorpion assassin who has now run off without permission from me or his commanding officer)

I wish that oranges were easier to peel with short fingernails.

[Kade Rivok]

Granted.  They're so easy to peal that the skin tends to just fall off of them, even when they're still on the tree.  They don't last nearly as long now.

I wish there was more time in the day.

[Booklover]

Granted. However, school/working hours are increased drastically.

I wish that I had more free time in a day.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted but you're paralyzed so you can't do anything.

[Booklover]

Except think. Thinking may be a dangerous pastime, but it's a fun one.
I wish that everybody would post a wish.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted but the wishes are all really boring and haven't had any thought put into them at all.

I wish I had a dozen sausages.