Corrupt-a-Wish

[WorshipTiria]

Granted, but they get bigger until nobeast can wear them.

I wish I had a cup noodle.

[Flib Bigboat]

Granted, but it's a cup made out of a giant noodle.
I wish math wouldn't be so hard.

[Kade Rivok]

Granted, but now everything else is just as hard as math used to be.

I wish pizza didn't have so many calories.

[Flib Bigboat]

Granted, it now has twice as many calories.
I wish I could go back in time to the middle ages, to see what it was like.

[Kade Rivok]

Granted, but you immediately die from a plague

I wish I could teleport.

[Ripred the Gnawer]

I wish the guests would stop sneaking around.

[Kade Rivok]

(You're supposed to corrupt the previous wish )

[Ripred the Gnawer]

Teleportation is cool, but if you showed up somewhere very suddenly you'd have a lot of explaining to do.
I wish I could breath underwater.

[Kade Rivok]

Granted, but now you can't breath out of water.

I wish I had a better car.

[Ripred the Gnawer]

Granted, but it happens to be your absolute least favorite color. 

I wish I was able to get any book I wanted just by wishing

[Kade Rivok]

Granted, but they always arrive covered in slime that you can't seem to get off.

I wish I didn't have to spend so much time on my hair in the morning >_>

[Ripred the Gnawer]

Granted, but now your hair is always neat and it's impossible to shampoo. (Like in the Toothpaste Genie, if anyone here has read it)
I wish I had my own bedroom.

[Captain Wortshire]

Granted, but it every night, your room is overrun with spiders.

I wish I has a plate of nachos right now...

[Ripred the Gnawer]

Granted, but the cheese is burned.
I wish I stopped getting random headaches all the time.

[Ally046]

Granted, now you know the cause and they only happen at 2 pm.

I wish I turned in my paper a day earlier. -_-