Corrupt-a-Wish

[WorshipTiria]

Granted. There is now a drought.
I wish it rained more.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, ze vorld fillz up viz vater, und ve av get eaten up by ancient zea creaturez zat vere livin' zecretly in ze depthz o' ze ocean.

Ah vizh Ah 'ad zome haggis.

[WorshipTiria]

Granted. The haggis is spoiled.

I wish I could cure cancer.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but zen any und av vaccinez und medecinez ztop vorkin'.

Ah vizh fer a zandvich.

[WorshipTiria]

Granted. It is filled with the haggis mentioned previously.

I wish it stopped raining, as my previous wish may have come true.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but it ztopz permanently, und ze Earth becomez a barren, lifelezz vazteland.

Ah vizh it vid znov.

[WorshipTiria]

Granted. There is so much snow you can no longer get out of your house.

I wish I had a better work ethic.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but na' ye are tryin' tae force zat better vork ethic on yer family und friendz, vho zen lock ye up in a mental azylum.

Ah vizh Rakghoulz vere real.

[WorshipTiria]

Granted. Unfortunately, they are horrified by humanity and all decide to hide forever.

I wish I had the ability to teleport.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but nae av o' yer body gaez tae ze zame place ye're teleportin' tae . . . or togezer.

Ah vizh fer Cthulhu tae come und drive everyone completely mad und inzane.

[WorshipTiria]

same Granted, but people overcome it and make calmari with its tentacles.

I wish more people were on the forum right now.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but zen ze forum crazhez fer zree veekz.

Ah vizh fer it tae ztart rainin' Fizh.

[WorshipTiria]

Granted, but it smells like fish for weeks.

I wish I had more socks

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but av o' ze rezt o' clothez except vot ye're currently vearin' turn intae variouzly-zized zockz az vell.

Ah vizh tae gae on a quezt.

[WorshipTiria]

Granted, but this is a cosmic horror story.

I wish I could leave school right now.