Corrupt-a-Wish

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but zen ye gaet Cat 'air on ye aftervardz.

Ah vizh fan-made lyric videoz on Yetube gaet ze lyricz roight more often.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Wish granted. The fans then get sued for copyright infringement or something.

I wish everyone would keep outta my business.

[Matthias720]

Granted. Nobody interacts with you ever again.

I wish I some Monopoly money.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but it'z loight-zenzitive und crumblez tae duzt ze moment any loight fallz on it.

Ah vizh Ah could foind ziz vone book Ah'm lookin' fer.

[The Skarzs]

Granted. It is the only book you will ever find again.

Granted. The happy people are always happy, but those in poverty or sickness are forever stuck like that, with no hope of improvement. George down the street's dad just died? He is forever stuck in grief, the healing balm of time never having a chance to touch him, for otherwise, his world might change.

Bleak.

Granted, you're never tired. Ever.

I see no downside.

I wish Mariah Carey's most infamous Christmas song was never played again.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted. All music ceases. Sound itself is broken.

I wish mosquitoes would leave me alone.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted- na' Roachez und ozer Inzectz regularly come tae yer door azkin' if ye'll donate zome money tae zeir variouz charitiez.

Ah vizh fer ziz vizh tae come true.

[Matthias720]

Granted. It remains true for 0.0000001 seconds.

I wish this wish would fail.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, ze vizh failz av o' itz vizhez at vizh zchool und 'az tae take lov-pay vizhin' jobz ze rezt o' itz vizh loife viz nae retirement benefitz nor toime off.

Ah vizh fer Fizh (again).

[shisteer of nothing much]

(At least it got medical insurance, though)
Granted. The fish has been dead for three weeks, and is thoroughly rotten.

I wish the icing that I made for the cinnamon rolls would hurry up and melt.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but the cinnamon rollz melt along viz ze oicin', und ye get a big melty mezz.

Ah vizh fer a deck o' playin' cardz viz a Weasels zeme.