corin the black fox

[WarriorOfMossflower]

xD

[MatthiasMan]

'Farris look like a little babe happy over a candied chestnut ' lol Xd i can't believe i wrote that line, it so...Xd i don't know but it doesn't sound right XD

How about,"Farris looked like a babe squealing with joy over a hard earned candied chesnut."

That sound better? (I call co-editor. )

[WarriorOfMossflower]

Did you want us to edit that, Rake?

[Captain Rake Nightfur]

okay XD

@mossy-san;;umm...no,not yet anyway.  i have to give you that short story to edit first, now where did i save it at?....

'Farris look like a little babe happy over a candied chestnut ' lol Xd i can't believe i wrote that line, it so...Xd i don't know but it doesn't sound right XD

How about,"Farris looked like a babe squealing with joy over a hard earned candied chesnut."

That sound better? (I call co-editor. )

[WarriorOfMossflower]

mossy-san? lol, guess you can call me that if you want.

[Captain Rake Nightfur]

X3 okay. and could you guys edit the prologue, i can't see anything wrong with it so i can't edit it.DX

mossy-san? lol, guess you can call me that if you want.

[MatthiasMan]

In the beggining you put that Wellcane, "throw" the old vixen like a rag doll. It should be "threw"

Where Wellcane says, "His small," and the white vixen says,"He will grow Lord," Lord is capatilized and Wellcane should say, "He's small." Not His.

[WarriorOfMossflower]

In the beggining you put that Wellcane, "throw" the old vixen like a rag doll. It should be "threw"

Where Wellcane says, "His small," and the white vixen says,"He will grow Lord," Lord is capatilized and Wellcane should say, "He's small." Not His.

agreed

[WarriorOfMossflower]

Prologue

Wellcane sat on a log outside a tent made from animal skins. An old vixen came from the tent, and Wellcane grabbed her roughly.
“Well?” he growled. “Is it over?”   
The vixen quailed under his strong grip. "Aye, Lord. Ye may come in.”
The powerful fox threw her like a rag doll and walked into the tent.
                                             
Inside the tent, a pure white vixen, save for the tip of her tail, lay on a bed of velvet.
She looked up as Wellcane entered. Wellcane glared at her.
“Well? Where is he?”
“He is here, Lord,” said the vixen. She took a bundle from her side.
“He is small!” exclaimed the black fox.
“He will grow, Lord.”
         
The old vixen came in, and Wellcane turned “Well, what are the omens, seer?”
Runso the seer took out her stones and sticks and cast them. Her eyes turned dull as she spoke, as if in a trance.

The stone must save the chosen  one
The stone must be its saviour.
The world will break, the sun will burn, ‘til the one is revealed
The earth world will be the taker,
The one who has the dagger and green will kill the father that made him be.
There'll be one who will deny the stone's life and then…kill for all ye life!!!

                                            *
“Well, what does that mean?” asked Wellcane, glaring at the seer.
The seer bowed. “Lord, methinks 'tis a prophecy about thy son.”
"Rubbish!”
“Nay, Lord, 'tis true."
"Then what does it mean?"
"Thy son will become a dangerous beast."
Wellcane stared at the seer. "Is he a threat?"
Runso chose her words carefully. "Lord...thy son MAY become a threat."
Wellcane looked thoughtful. "If he is a threat, then he must go."
The white vixen, who had been silent all this time, stood to face the black fox. "But Lord, he is only a babe!"
Wellcane whirled about. "Silence! He will be executed."
"No!" the vixen snatched up the babe and ran for her life.
Wellcane bellowed, "Grab her, stop her! Shoot her down with arrows, anything! Do not let her escape!"
The vixen fled, narrowly dodging arrows, spears, and other evil-looking implements. She halted at the river and threw the newborn fox in. "Be safe, my son." She watched the little bundle float down the river.
Wellcane came up behind her, holding a keen knife to her throat.
The vixen did not struggle, she simply looked the black fox in the eyes and said, "He is gone now, you fool. My son is safe."

That's my edited version, tell me if you like it.

[MatthiasMan]

Yes, much better.

[Captain Rake Nightfur]

yeah it does, sorry, that was my first EVER writing so it did have a lot of mistakes DX sorry.(also my keyboard was acting up at that time  )

[WarriorOfMossflower]

S'alright, Rake. No problem, I like editting. 

[MatthiasMan]

Yeah, editing is fun.

[Captain Rake Nightfur]

okay then, can you edit cap 1(there's some mistakes there) and cap 2 please. ^.^

Yeah, editing is fun.

[MatthiasMan]

Ok after I start the next chapter for The Maiden's Trial.