Top Characters You'd Like to Smack

[Redwaller]

1. Druwp

2. Yoofus Lightpaw

3. Tugga Bruster

4. Dinj

5. The son of the Painted Ones chief in Doomwyte

6. Swinkee

7. The newt in Outcast of Redwall

8. Like Rusvul said, the Whiny little Abbeymaid from Pearls of Lutra

9. Fenno

10. Triggut Frap

11. Beequeen from Doomwyte

12. Vitch

[Romsca]

11. Beequeen from Doomwyte

AHHH!!!! She drived me crazy!!!! I hated her!

[CrazyPug37]

1. Log-a-Log Tugga Bruster:  Undoubtebly the worst Log-a-Log ever.

2. Vitch:  An annoying little brat.

3. Rusvul:  Was a great warrior, but WAY to harsh on Danflorr.

4. Fenno:  Stabbed his own Log-a-Log in the back, and tried to murder Dippler.

5. That mean bankvole from Eulalia, who was rude to Russano, and was later used as bait by the villain.

[Duxwing]

No one slapped any of the big heroes, so:

1.) Martin The Warrior: Rose is dead, I know, but you need to stop bottling your feelings up and talk to someone about your pain.  Rose wouldn't have wanted this for you.
2.) Matthias: It's flippin' inventory.  Get it done.
3.) Mattimeo: Put a wee dash of lead in Vitch's tankard every morning, and you will save yourself much trouble.

-Duxwing

[Martin the warrior]

No one slapped any of the big heroes, so:

1.) Martin The Warrior: Rose is dead, I know, but you need to stop bottling your feelings up and talk to someone about your pain.  Rose wouldn't have wanted this for you.
-Duxwing

ok i have to say when i first read this i was like WHAT but now that i think about it that is so true

[CrazyPug37]

No one slapped any of the big heroes, so:

1.) Martin The Warrior: Rose is dead, I know, but you need to stop bottling your feelings up and talk to someone about your pain.  Rose wouldn't have wanted this for you.
-Duxwing

ok i have to say when i first read this i was like WHAT but now that i think about it that is so true

Same here.  Martin needed to "man" up after Rose's death, and take control of things.

[Dannflower Reguba]

No one slapped any of the big heroes, so:

1.) Martin The Warrior: Rose is dead, I know, but you need to stop bottling your feelings up and talk to someone about your pain.  Rose wouldn't have wanted this for you.
-Duxwing

ok i have to say when i first read this i was like WHAT but now that i think about it that is so true

Same here.  Martin needed to "man" up after Rose's death, and take control of things.

Love the random asdf quote in your personal text. 

Anyway, I have to disagree, there was a lot more than that, he lost his mom, his dad left, his caretaker was slain, he was enslaved. He knew NOTHING but hardship from birth! How can you hold something like that against a guy?

[Tam and Martin]

Life was hard on him but he should probably not have "shut himself down".

[Maudie]

Whatsisface, Riggu Felis' surviving son.

[Tam and Martin]

Pitru? Yes he was one I would like to slap.

[CrazyPug37]

Pitru? Yes he was one I would like to slap.

Yes, he's one I forgot to add to my list.

[Duxwing]

Anyway, I have to disagree, there was a lot more than that, he lost his mom, his dad left, his caretaker was slain, he was enslaved. He knew NOTHING but hardship from birth!

And he bore all that to have a total meltdown after a breakup?  Such an eventuality is oh so convenient for the plot.

How can you hold something like that against a guy?

I'm not holding it against him.  I'm trying to slap him out of his sorry stupor so that he could see that he'd been royally messed up by Rose's death and needed some help.  Of course, literally slapping him wouldn't be as effective as talking to him.

-Duxwing

[Maudie]

Well, he doesn't really "have a total meltdown" after Rose dies, but he does withdraw into himself for a season or two, but everyone needs time to get over a loss, especially when the person who died was your true love, and she died saving you, and you have faced plenty of other deaths in your life, but I think that Martin deals with it pretty well, at least he doesn't brood over it for the rest of his life and never ever recover.

[Duxwing]

Well, he doesn't really "have a total meltdown" after Rose dies, but he does withdraw into himself for a season or two, but everyone needs time to get over a loss,

A season or two is a long time to a mouse:

Matthias and Cornflower have Mattimeo at the end of the Summer of the Late Rose (let us ignore the biological difficulties with such a feat for a moment).
Therefore, at the beginning of Mattimeo, Mattimeo is eight seasons old: no longer a dibbun, but not quite as old as Matthias is at the beginning of Redwall.  An eight year old human child would be incapable of the feats that Mattimeo performs, so the intuitive ratio of one season to one human year is unavailable; Perhaps two seasons equal one human year.  Jacques effectively said as much during a book signing in his twentieth year of writing, "I've been writing books for forty seasons," so my proposed ratio holds.

Therefore, if two Redwall seasons equate to one human year, Martin withdraws for almost a year.  Such a withdrawal is not only above normal for humans, but for Martin himself because plenty of his fellows die throughout the book, yet he only breaks as badly after Rose's death.

especially when the person who died was your true love,

Eugh.  "True love," my rump.  No such thing exists.  (I know full well that I sound grumpy and ornery in saying so, but no two people match each other perfectly).

and she died saving you,

I thought that she just died in battle while Martin watched.  If you have a copy, then I'd like to see a quote just to be sure (and, of course, to enjoy Jacques' beautiful prose once more  ).

and you have faced plenty of other deaths in your life,

But his nigh nonchalant experience of other deaths is precisely what bothers me when I attempt to understand his breakdown over Rose's death.  If they affected him enough to weigh upon him, then he should have broken down slowly, not all at once.

but I think that Martin deals with it pretty well, at least he doesn't brood over it for the rest of his life and never ever recover.

He does brood over it for the rest of his life, and he never recovers: he never falls in love again.

-Duxwing

[Buzz_Bumble]

Not a Redwall character, but I'd love to smack Simon Cowell. The fool forces all these silly "reality" TV shows on us, and then says he's bored with talent shows.  (Although he likes to think so, Simon Cowell didn't actually invent the idea of Pop Idol, etc. He stole it from much older British and New Zealand TV shows.)