Things Redwall has taught us

[Tiria Wildlough]

Well, this is something I made a while ago. Don't be offended by it.

Things Redwall has taught us (These aren't true in real life):

1. It's cool to be a killing machine, but only if you're a badger. If you aren't, forget it.
2. Stoats are roughly the same size as mice.
3. All hares have eating disorders.
4. Being blind isn't a disability.
5. If you're a stoat, ferret, weasel, rat, fox, or wildcat, you're doomed to die.
6. All rats are evil. Ditto for stoats . . . and weasels . . . and ferrets . . . and foxes . . . and wildcats.
7. If your best friend or loved one is killed, the best thing to do is become an angsty berserker.
8. Having bloodwrath wins you instant fangirls/fanboys.
9. If you're a badger, you're destined for greatness.
10. Otters like spicy food.
11. Being the hero gives you perfect speech, even if those around you have accents.
12. Democracy isn't cool.
13. If you're a hordebeast, chances are you're selfish and stupid.
14. Villains usually make bad decisions.
15. Bankvoles are traitors. Watervoles are just annoying.
16. The villain can't win, even if the villain is more powerful than the hero.
17. Mice can kill cats.
18. Being polite to your elders is more important than saving lives.
19. If your girlfriend dies, you should go away and pretend that nothing happened.
20. Babies can solve riddles.
21. If you're a hero, you don't need to take swordfighting lessons.
22. Racism is widely accepted among an

[Skipper]

Nice. Are we allowed to add ones to the list?

[SpiderMonkey]

That was great.  I agree with all of 'em, and about half I was thinking about when I was reading the books.

[UNKN0WN]

ok?

[Tiria Wildlough]

Yeah, you can write more if you want to.

[Redwallfan7]

Great reasons!