Favorite Quotes

[MathLuk]

Morris dancing is the most fatuous, tenth-rate entertainment ever devised by man. Forty effeminate blacksmiths waving bits of cloth they've just wiped their noses on. How it's still going on in this day and age I'll never know.

Prince Edmund 'the Black Adder', Duke of Edinburgh, Laird of Roxburgh, Selkirk and Peebles and Warden of the Royal Privies, circa 1487.

Quote taken from Blackadder, Season 1, Episode 2

[Flib Bigboat]

"Let us ask Potter how we would tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost." The whole class looked round at Harry, who hastily tried to recall what Dumbledore had told him the night that they had gone to visit Slughorn. "Er – well – ghosts are transparent –" he said.

"Oh, very good," interrupted Snape, his lip curling. "Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent."
~Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

[Tinarandel]

"It matters," Qui-Gon said quietly. "It matters which side we choose. Even if there will never be more light than darkness. Even if there can be no more joy in the galaxy than there is pain. For every action we undertake, for every word we speak, for every life we touch--it matters. I don't turn toward the light because it means someday I'll 'win' some sort of cosmic game. I turn toward it because it is the light."

~Qui-Gon Jinn, Star Wars: Master & Apprentice, by Claudia Gray.

[MathLuk]

You see, kid... The world's like a bowl of rice. It's got substance, but it ain't worth nothin' without a good, zesty sauce. That's where we come in.

- Mister Qi, Stardew Valley

[Scott McLamok]

"So thats it..."  - Wade

"Fortress Inquisitorius" - Wade...

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

"And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done...which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions."

-Suzan readin' a ztory tae tva children, from Hogfather by Terry Pratchett

[Flib Bigboat]

"Like I said, there's no possible way that Magnus can-"
"Which Magnus?" broke in Piper.
"Both of them!" Hunter snapped, beginning to lose his temper for the fifth time that day.
"What are you talking about?" Sashi asked.
"His conjoined twin dragons," Piper explained. "Their names are Magnus Fafnir and Magnus Sigurd. He keeps forgetting they're two dragons, not one."
Hunter wisely chose to ignore this last comment.

~My friend's (currently untitled) Harry Potter fanfic

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

"Oh, he'll calm down in a few years."

-Me Mum vhen Watson joined our family. Many yearz 'ave gone by, und 'e 'az yet tae calm doon even a vee bit!

[donnyjohn]

"Practice makes perfect." – Vince Lombardi.

[WorshipTiria]

Spoilers for Mother of Learning

Spoiler

"You shot me!" the Red Robe's voice yelled hysterically behind him. "What kind of mage uses a gun!?"

[close]

[Flib Bigboat]

As he rifled through the toffee tin, trying not to lose any precious bits of dragon skin, something occured to him that would explain his troubles finding the Seek. "But not all snakes begin with S, do they?" he shouted forward to Jenna. "I mean, there's python and adder and Big Green Forest Snake and-"
Jenna leaned back and saw the look of puzzlement on Wolf Boy's face. "Tell you what," she shouted, "why don't you just pass me all the green pieces?"
"Hey, I've got it!" yelled Wolf Boy, triumphant, as the dragon wings swept down. "I was confused because... aargh"-the dragon wings swept up- "there are two snakes on this one. But none of the others... oof"-the dragon wings swept down again- "...have any snakes at all so this must be it. Here, oops"-the wings swept up -"...you are." He passed Jenna a piece of crackly green leather. On the front of it was written Seek and Ye Shall Find.
~Physik

[WorshipTiria]

"There's always enough time for a good, old-fashioned massacre."
~~My history teacher

[Flib Bigboat]

"You shall not pass!"
~Gandalf, obviously

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Principal Skinner: Uh oh. Two independent thought alarms in one day. The students are overstimulated. Willie, remove all the coloured chalk from the classrooms.

Groundskeeper Willie: I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya? That coloured chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!

-Groundskeeper Willie, from Ze Simpsonz

[Flib Bigboat]

[T]he dictionary shows you that the word "nervous" means "worried about something"- you might feel nervous, for instance, if you were served prune ice cream for dessert, because you would be worried that it would taste awful- whereas the word "anxious" means "troubled by disturbing suspense," which you might feel if you were served a live alligator for dessert, because you would be troubled by the disturbing suspense about whether you would eat your dessert or it would eat you.

~A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Ersatz Elevator