Favorite Quotes

[Hickory]

The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices — to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill — and suspicion can destroy — and a thoughtless frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all of its own — for the children — and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is — that these things cannot be confined — to the Twilight Zone.

[Perifaen]

"Nothing is impossible. The word itself says I'm possible."
-Unknown

[Skyblade]

"Life is hard sometimes. Sometimes it's hard a lot of the time. Hold on to hope for a better tomorrow."

- James Gryphon

[Jetthebinturong]

SAO Abridged quotes

Yoko: He used to review games back in the real world. But ever since we were trapped in this game he's been terrified that some of his more... verbose... commenters will make good on their threats.
Schmidt: I used to laugh at their comments! Laugh! But now, what if they really do cut off my limbs, rip out my intestines, and ride me like some kind of meat toboggan?
Kirito: You hear that Asuna? Meat toboggan. Try getting that image out of your head. Holding his intestines like the reins of Santa's sleigh, skipping through the freshly fallen snow in a trail of bile and gore as his eyes beg the same question as the horrified children in his wake: why?

Asuna: I think we can safely assume that a ghost is not behind this. Right Kirito?
Kirito: Of course not. Clearly this was a hit by the mermaid mafia payed in leprechaun gold, but who was the puppet master? The unicorns? No, they've had a feud going with the mermaids for years.
Asuna: Dammit Kirito! These people's lives are in danger!
Kirito: No they're not! For the last time, YOU CAN'T DIE IN A SAFE ZONE!

Schmidt: What do you want? Scalps? I can get you scalps!
Ghost 2: What? No!
Schmidt: Oh so you're an orphan blood man, I see. Do you like your victims pre-drained or do you like to get your hands dirty?
Ghost 2: Jesus Christ!
Schmidt: Oh so you want them crucified! That's a bit trickier but I'm sure I could work something out!
Ghosts 1&2: JUST STOP!
Schmidt: Huh? Yoko? Kaines?
Kaines: Yeah, it's us.
Schmidt: Ok. So where are we on the whole "orphan blood" thing?
Kaines: For God's- WE'RE NOT GHOSTS!
Yoko: We faked our deaths!
Schmidt: Oh.
Kaines: Seriously Schmidt, how many people would you have killed if we'd asked you to?
Schmidt: It's... not important.
Kaines: I DISAGREE!

Geoff: And Samson said: "With an asses jawbone, I have made asses of them. With an asses jawbone, I have killed a thousand men."
Yoko: Huh?
Johnny Black: *Sigh*
Geoff: What?
Johnny Black: It's nothing.
Geoff: No, no, you sighed! That's not nothing.
Johnny Black: Look boss, I get what you're going for. Bible quoting serial killer? That's a great motif. Classic. But it's a big book, they're not all going to be gems.
Geoff: Alright wise guy, name one verse that's scarier than that!
Johnny Black: Oh I don't know, how about: "No flesh shall be spared!"
Geoff: What?
Johnny Black: No flesh shall be spared? Mark, 13:20?
Geoff: Holy bad stuff, that's in the Bible?
Johnny Black: Have you ever actually read the Bible?
Geoff: Well whatever, I'm the boss, and I say my verse was better!
Johnny Black: Look boss, it's not just about the verse. Don't you think the whole "Jesus tells me to kill" thing is... holding us back?
Geoff: ...How dare you? The J-Man's teachings impart on everything I do! Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to do God's work. Because as Jesus once said: "Schmidtches get stitches!"
Johnny Black: Ugh. That's not even a word, much less- *A horse runs towards them* OH WHAT IS IT NOW?
*Falling off horse* Kirito: Ah! Stupid horse! That entrance was almost perfect!
Yoko: I thought you looked really cool Kirito!
Kirito: Don't patronise me Yogapants!
Yoko: Yogapants?
Geoff: And who, pray tell, are you?
Kirito: *Batman voice* Detective Kirito, Aincrad PD. I'm on the hunt for a serial killer and these three are the only witnesses. I'm going to need you gentlemen to put down your weapons.
Geoff: I'm afraid that's impossible officer, the lord has ordered these sinners dead. _{In the form of a guy who pays fifty bucks.}
Kirito: Fifty bucks? Selling yourselves a bit cheap don't you think? You guys provide an essential, in-demand service and you're definitely the leaders in your field. You're Laughing Coffin! You've got to cash in on that name recognition.
Johnny Black: That's what I keep telling him! But the high-paying clients won't touch us. They take one look at Reverend Killjoy over there and think we're a bunch of crazy people!
Kirito: Exactly! You could reach a much wider demo if you just toned down the religious theme. What you guys need is a total rebranding. I'm talking ad campaigns, PR blasts, get your faces out there. Let people know that you're not just about the fire and brimstone. You are multi-faceted, three-dimensional killing machines and you have got a little something for everyone. Because contract killing? It's a beat we can all dance to.
Johnny Black: Oh man, I got chills.
Geoff: You've given us much to think about young man. As payment, the lives of these sinners are now yours to command. But remember, it is by grace you have been saved. Through faith, not by works.
Johnny Black: Hey, that one was actually pretty good Geoff.
Geoff: Thanks! Jesus told me to say it!
Johnny Black: Oh... kay then.

Yoko: We could have been working with him to throw you off.
Kirito: Haha! Yeah right! Like anyone would let that moron in on a conspiracy. A friggin' landmine deals with pressure better than him, and would kill fewer people!
Schmidt: HEY!

Grimlock: Are you mad? I didn't kill my wife for something as trivial as money! No, my story is far more tragic. We were so in love, and then one night, everything changed.
Flashback Griselda: I'm sorry honey, I didn't have time to make dinner, I have to meet Yoko and the girls to strategise for the raid. But there's some leftovers in the fridge, I'll make it up to you tomorrow. Love you, bye.
Grimlock: And that was when I realised. I was devastated! How could she betray me like this? Clearly if I were to preserve her memory, something drastic had to be done. So you see, boy, I didn't kill Griselda; I killed the thing that took her place.
Kirito: Wow. Ok. Let me see if I got this: You killed your wife because she wouldn't get in the kitchen and make you a sandwich?!?!
Grimlock: And what man would blame me? Kaines, Schmidt, you know what I'm talking about right?
Schmidt: Dont-Don't talk to us man.
Kirito: I can't believe you! You had something special! Something most couples spend their whole lives searching for and you threw it all away. And for what? A lousy meal? You never loved Griselda, you just wanted to possess her. You disgust me!
Grimlock: Kid, some day you'll understand what it's like to be in love.
Kirito: You sonova-
Asuna: Hold it Kirito. I've got something to say that I've been holding in a long time. Grimlock, that hat makes you look like a hipster!
(Falling to his knees) Grimlock: NO! IT CAN'T BE TRUE!
Kirito: What? NO! I had to go to a dark place to pull out that masterpiece! It was full of emotions that scare and confuse me. Now come on, get up, we're doing this again. And this time you're not going to fold just because that hat makes you look like John Lennon joined the mafia!
Grimlock: OH GOD!
Kirito: See? There's no challenge in it. *Sigh* Verbal abuse man, it's a lost art.

[close]

Hellsing Ultimate abridged quotes

The Major: I'm sure you're chomping at the bit to find out vhat ve have in store for you, nein?
Integra: Nazi army.
The Major: ...Wow, just, kill all the fun! Put the fun in camps, vhy don't you?
Alucard: Yeah, you Fun-Nazi.

Anderson: I see! Now it's open season for these heathen swine!
Enrico: Alexander, while I mirror your fervor to lay steel upon the soulless jowls of the English Church, we have a much bigger foe knocking at our door.
Anderson: They knock at the door of Hellsing, and as the wolf huffs and puffs, we shall skewer these pigs ourselves.
Enrico: I do not know the metaphor on which you draw, but regardless, we must set aside the quarrels of our houses and unite under the banner of God.
Anderson: Ah, I see! So this... is a CRUSADE!
Enrico: No, nonononono! We don't say that anymore, we're calling it... ah, dang, what do the American cows say?
Anderson: Peacekeeping?
Enrico: Right! Now, shall we... keep the peace?

The Major: Gentlemen... Ve have made it! [Platoon of Nazis on the zeppelin applause loudly] Alright. Achtung! Achtung!
Hans: Whoo whoo!
The Major: Hans! Hans! Bring it down a notch.
Hans: [with quiet voice] Whoooh...
The Major: Now. Herr Doktor, Captain, First Lieutenant, und our fabulous mascot. Please lead us off.
The Doktor: Of course. Everyone, thank you for coming to the mandatory pre-var seminar. Please open your "World War III" pamphlets to page 3, as the first two pages merely contain a foreword from Nicolas Cage.
The Major: Ve have an exciting itinerary of the evening's events. Tonight... ve annihilate London!
Random Nazi: Umm, all of London?
The Major: All of London. Buckingham Palace - laid to vaste. Big Ben - toppled to zhe ground.
Random Nazi: Zhe house of parliament?
The Major: Eradicated.
Random Nazi 2: Zhe Tower of London?
The Major: Obliterated!
The Doktor: Zhe Holocaust Museum?
The Major: Leave zhat be. No one vill deny vhat ve did.
Hans: What about London Bridge?
The Major: Ja, ja. London Bridge is falling down. Ve all know zhe song. Look, you be zhe first to burn it down, you can go ahead and sing it; I don't care.

Radio-telegraphist: Communications are back up, everything is on fire!
Another radio-telegraphist: London Bridge is falling down!
Sir Penwood: Falling down?
Another radio-telegraphist: Falling down!
Sir Penwood: London Bridge is falling down! My fair lady, what should we do?

Nazi: Hans?! Nein! And he was having such a good day! He even got to burn down London Bridge! Sing the song. Everything!
Sir Integra: Congratulations. [pulls out a cigarette and stomps on head] It took an entire squadron of inhuman, nigh-immortal, fake vampires to hunt down and corner a 22-year old woman.
Nazi: Zat's a woman?
Other Nazi: She's 22?

[close]

[Skyblade]

"It's better to ask than assume."

[Hickory]

"What're you looking at? It's a nice hat."

-Cad Bane

[SoranMBane]

Sort-of spoilers for the game Undertale

"Oh, and Frisk... Be careful in the outside world, ok? Despite what everyone thinks, it's not as nice as it is here. There are a lot of Floweys* out there. And not everything can be resolved by just being nice. Frisk... Don't kill, and don't be killed, alright? That's the best you can strive for."
~ Said by a certain character, at a certain time, in a certain place

This bit of dialog is so out-of-the-way that it's practically an Easter egg, but it just sums up the themes of the game so beautifully.

*Oh, and if you haven't played Undertale, here's all you need to know about Flowey; he's a cruel little jerkbag who believes that the whole world is "kill or be killed." Also, go play Undertale, 'cause it's really good.

[close]

[Skyblade]

"Don't panic."

- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

[Hickory]

"Yes, Jason Grace, I fell in love with a dude. Does that shock you?"

-Favonius

"I like being wrong about things, because it means I've learned something."

-Neil DeGrasse Tyson

[Hickory]

"There's nothing else to be done with orphans. No place to keep you, nobody to take you in. The watch sells your sort for wine money, the watch-sergeants neglect to mention you in their reports, and watch-captains neglect to give a really bad stuff."

-The Thiefmaker, The Lies of Locke Lamora

[Skyblade]

"School is a building that has four walls with tomorrow inside."
- Lon Watters

"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."
- William Butler Yeats

[Lady Ashenwyte]

"The words of those who bring up children will be as milk if they are good, but as deadly poison if they are evil."

- Pope Gregory the Great.

[Skyblade]

"Live every day as if it's your birthday."
-  an inspirational book


This quote hit me, because I try to enjoy my birthday to its fullest. So what if I did that for every day?

[Lady Ashenwyte]

I would think you would be weary of the world sooner.

[Skyblade]

"Everyone has positive and negative qualities, and choosing to see only your negative qualities and other peoples' positive ones is pointless."

- an article about self-loathing and how to deal with it