Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

[Rainshadow]

  This is an idea that a man on another forum came up with, and I thought it was rather fun, so I decided to bring it here.  This is not my idea, it's Copperfox's.  Thank you, Copperfox!
  So, this is pretty much an RP where the story can go anywhere at any time, with any character, who is immediately the star of the RP.  Pretty much, whoever posts is the new star. 

  IC:  Joe the orc was standing in the gazebo overlooking Mount Doom, waiting to be married to the beautiful elf, Bella, by Saruman.  He was grinning, his five black teeth showing in the red light of the mountain.
  Bella was beaming when Saruman said, "You may roar at your bride."  Joe always knew how to roar very well.  He looked handsome in his White Hand armor, she thought.  So handsome.

[Romsca]

Bella slapped Joe the orc. "I'm never marrying you!" she yelled. She changed her mind very often.

[Tam and Martin]

Joe's father was watching nearby. "Don't let her do that son". Joe grabbed Bella and Bella was shocked "I thought you were going to be my husband!"

[Redwaller]

But then one of the Nazgûl came out of the sky and slayed Bella.

[Romsca]

Saruman raised his staff and cast a spell and killed the Nazgûl

[Redwaller]

But he is a man, and only women are able to kill Nazgûl, and the only woman is dead.

So the Nazgûl flies away, and a giant turtle comes out of the earth and eats Joe.

[321tumbler]

OOC: I didn't know there were giant turtles in.

BIC: Then crawls over to the edge of Mount Doom and jumped.

[Rainshadow]

  Meanwhile, a lone rider is riding through the desert.  He takes his pistol out of its holster and looks at it, admiring the way that the light shone off of it.  The rider, a cowboy named Don, took great pride in polishing weapons.
  Don stuck the pistol back in its holster and took up the reins, spurring the horse onward.

[DanielofRedwall]

On a completely different planet, there lived a man whose name was Gafffffkelfjrk (pronounced Ga-fFFfF-kelfjrk). Gafffffkelfjrk (whose name meant "Brian" in English) was feeling particularly lonely at that time, so he decided to take a walk around his home planet of SSSHejFffFfkdb (OBVIOUSLY pronounced SSSH-ejFffF-kdb). This planet was about the size and shape of a small mushroom, and that is why it had not been discovered by Earthlings as of yet. After all, it is in the same galaxy, and it it actually the first planet from the sun, standing approximately 17.987 metres (or 59.0124672 feet) from it. Funnily enough, it did not orbit the sun, always staying in the same place, and it was located underneath the sun, at a 23 degree tilt. The people who live on SSSHejFffFfkdb were about the size of a parasite and took a shining to the letter "f", making sure everything in their complex tongue had more "f"'s than any over letter. People on the upside of the mushroom called those on the bottom of the mushroom rhdofffcnrozkefbridgej, which is translated as "underlings", and those on the bottom of the mushroom called those on the top of the mushroom fhdoejrfffojrjfbyufffpbridgej, which translates roughly as "John", as all those on the top of the mushroom were named John. Our hero, Gafffffkelfjrk, lived on the bottom.

Anyway, so Gafffffkelfjrk was walking along, when he saw a store named "Fnroffnrfffidledteienfbelkcbfrj", which is roughly translated as "Deli". He decided he'd go in and order a ffkeibdojbeiodkbffff, which means "beef sandwich". Now Gafffffkelfjrk was actually a vegetarian, and "beef" meant "salad" in the dialect. After all, they had no cows. Well, they did have something they called a "cow", but it was actually a rare, Critically Endangered type of tree located only at the very base of the mushroom (where the South Pole would be located if the Earth was mushroom shaped), and in the dialect it's name was ffxofbekskfibrfff.

Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. So Gafffffkelfjrk ordered his meal and ate it while walking. On his walk, he met his friend Fffeoorivhrkxunsogfff, meaning "Rachel". She was greatly troubled as her cat (well, cat-like pet, actually a fffrrkdeisbeodgff) was stuck in a tree. She cried "Shhefff ffff, f ddddekfffff mmfff lggfff!" which means "help, I've broke my leg!". She had done so in an entirely unrelated incident to her cat, which means that explanation was completely useless.
Gafffffkelfjrk, finally seeing his chance to impress her, picked her up in his arms and said, in his most romantic voice, "Ddddfrrfffff ffteieb, f dfdfef fffeeehf!", which means "don't fear, I am here!". He carried her to the hospital.

Later, many years later in fact (well, the planet had no years as it did not orbit around the sun, but in Earth years) the pair were married. Well, not really "married" as there was no marriage on the planet, but as close to married as you'll get. They had no children, for they do not have children, instead they are made by appearing randomly at any given time. They also never age and can't die, which means overpopulation is a very real threat. The government are considering a move to Earth for a percentage of the population any time now. So, if you do happen to meet one, be friendly, as you now know the troubles their people have suffered.

This planet will not feature in this RP ever again.

[Tam and Martin]

The cowboy saw a giant turtle hurtling off a ledge and charging towards him (this is a fast turtle). He shot it twice with a pistol but nothing happened to penetrate its shell.

[psybox]

suddenly, the universe ended.

[Romsca]

And then it started again. And the only thing left were hobbits

[Rainshadow]

  And the Doctor with his TARDIS.  Luckily, there were no Daleks left to exterminate anything, so the world was much, much better.

[Tam and Martin]

The hobbit snuck up to the Doctor and did.............!

[psybox]

...n't have a chance to do anything before the rest of the universe was back, and then a dalek exterminated the doctor and the hobbit, and the doctor died, and wasn't able to regenerate.