Series Book I: The Origins of Simon and The Vow of the Mad Captain

[Redwaller]

I finally finished reading it! And it was AWESOME!!! Very good! Hope you've got more fanfictions in store for us! 

[Captain Tammo]

Thanks Redwaller! I'm so glad to see you liked it!
As for more Fanfictions, I'm not entirely sure. Although I'd love to write another, maybe picking up where The Origins of Simon left off, it wouldn't be for quite a bit . Most of my writing right now is my college essays and scholarship applications XD

But I wouldn't rule another fanfiction out completely!

[Captain Tammo]

Please excuse the double post! I was on the fanfiction directory looking at the stories and noticed something, there was no summary next to The Origins of Simon! so I contacted a moderator and asked them if it was me or someone else who was supposed to provide the summary for the topic. The answer was essentially that unless I wanted to provide my own summary, I would have to wait for a moderator to read through it and post one.

So I have decided to take it upon myself, but I want to hear somebody else's opinion on the story and use that. Here is my question: How would you summarize The Origins of Simon in one sentence? If you've any ideas, PM me or leave a post below! Thanks you guys!

~C.T

[Osu]

Do please pardon the bump-out-of-nowhere -- I've decided to (belatedly) start commenting on the stories here, and this one is at the top of my list. I read it through some time ago, and although I feel it's still fresh in my mind, forgive me if I get certain plot points mixed up. And I talk a lot, so *ahem* I apologize if you go cross-eyed while reading.

This story has a really interesting concept, I can see why you won awards with it -- it's coherent, all the loose ends are tied up, and it's just a downright awesome Redwall yarn. Out of all the fanfiction I've read, this one is the closest in tone and plot to the original canon books (that is the highest complement from me!) Many of the plot elements were very creative, and you did a good job weaving the old with the new together. The airship, in particular: I would have thought something like that would jar me out of a Redwall story (the premise of something so technologically advanced coupled with my mental view of the world of Redwall is just bizarre, to my mind), but you made it work. Well done.

The addition of a mongoose character was interesting, too; at first, I actually had to stop and remember exactly what a mongoose was, haha. His little snake talent was really cool, really a very talented creature, says I. Holding on to his initial mission after spending so long trapped on a deserted island is admirable. I'm glad he got his happily ever after.

I also liked what you did with the character Simon; actually, I would have liked to see more in-depth narrative on him. The flip in his personality between his first appearance and when Leo rejoins his crew at the ship, for example: that seemed a little sudden, even though it was clear time had passed. I wonder what he gets to be like long after the story has ended.

The dynamics of the relationship of the crew of the Seaspark and her captain was well-played. Especially with Dassiter in the dual role of best friend and first mate, having to make the decision to put Leo out of his misery must have been terribly painful. And for all of the crewbeasts, who had followed Leo -- for how long? Around 20 seasons? -- to be forced into considering mutiny of such caliber indicates a deeper, and much more conflicted story than what is presented at face value. The way they were all united again as friends toward the end was something I wasn't expecting -- to be honest, I was expecting a tragedy in that particular subplot. It was a happy surprise. And then the final battle -- that was EPIC. JUST. EPIC. I had a minor heart attack during which I thought Dassiter had been killed, BUT IT WAS PRETTY EPIC.

And poor Leo. He was tortured from the beginning, wasn't he? I felt pretty bad for him, he just didn't have a proper shot at a normal life. Then Simon comes along and BAM, Leo's never going to have that happy, carefree life I was kinda sorta really really hoping he'd get when it was all said and done. His final note to Dassiter indicates otherwise, but the way he left the Mountain, and just his mental state and his character in general, has me worried he isn't as happy as he says he is... and what about Simon? Where does he fit in with that "I'm happy" attitude? I dunno, it worries me. Ended the story on a positive note, which was a pretty fabulous ending by the way, but I'm still concerned over Leo's state of health and where life will take him from here.

Also I may or may not have a huge crush on Dassiter.

The story as a whole has an excellent mix of comedy and tragedy, action and adventure, something I personally find to be difficult to write -- mixing genres and making a well-rounded story with elements from all over the board is a good skill to have. Forgive me if you've said before, but how did you go about writing this story? Did you plan it out to begin with, laying out every plot point from beginning to end prior to actually writing it? Or did you just have a vague idea and decided to wing it from there? Where did you draw inspiration for the characters, in particular Simon and his relationship with Leo -- why the decision to let Simon stay, rather than banishing him altogether?

You mentioned some time ago about the possibility of a sequel, if you ever got the time -- does that still look like something you're going to work on maybe, or has the idea been retired? Inquiring minds, y'know.

[Captain Tammo]

Wow thank you so much for your kind words! I am so happy to see that you thoroughly enjoyed it. It's got me all fired up now! Words cannot describe how thrilled I am to see that you developed a relationship with my characters (like Dassiter lol). It really makes the whole task of writing it so worthwhile! I'm so happy to see that it played with your emotions, too. This was what I was trying to do!!! Get the reader involved and make them really think about things. Make them wonder what happened to Leo and Simon, make them laugh with the comic relief, tense up with the battles and drama, and end the story feeling satisfied and happy that you read it! You got that sense of happiness for all of the characters in the end but you were sad with Leo's fate. This was the exact feeling I would get when I finished one of Brian's books so I really feel happy that you got the same feeling that I was trying to replicate here. Agh! So happy!

But then there's the other part of what you said...

Out of all the fanfiction I've read, this one is the closest in tone and plot to the original canon books (that is the highest complement from me!)

WOW!!! That's like getting the Medal of Honor for writing a redwall fanfiction! Just–just–WOW! That was so kind of you to say that, Osu! I'm absolutely thrilled with your review!

Now for answering your questions

Do please pardon the bump-out-of-nowhere -- I've decided to (belatedly) start commenting on the stories here, and this one is at the top of my list. I read it through some time ago, and although I feel it's still fresh in my mind, forgive me if I get certain plot points mixed up. And I talk a lot, so *ahem* I apologize if you go cross-eyed while reading.

A review is always welcome, good or bad, no matter how long it's been! And there were no crossed eyes at all, you've got this story all straight!

And for all of the crewbeasts, who had followed Leo -- for how long? Around 20 seasons? -- to be forced into considering mutiny of such caliber indicates a deeper, and much more conflicted story than what is presented at face value.

Right. Leo had been sailing with Dassiter for 20 seasons, but they picked up the crew along the way (I think I mention somewhere in there that Bellus came aboard after several seasons at sea). So not everybeast had been there as long as Leo had. I think that's part of the reason why he snapped first. He had that determination that had been eating at him for longer than anybeast and it began to evolve into an obsession and, finally, Simon was born.

With the almost sudden changes throughout the story, I included those for a reason (nothing in the story was added without a thought out reason behind it ). You see, when I wrote the story, I wanted the reader to just start feeling like they could predict things... And then flip it on them with a plot twist! In the meeting about the mutiny, I was trying to show the reader that even though the crew had not been at sea as long as Leo had, they were fed up with the trip and convinced that Deamal was dead (which put emphasis on how determined Leonardo was). I wanted to give the reader the sense of this building tension without needing another 30 pages that I believe would have slowed the plot down. This was why conflict seemed a little different than I initially presented.

Forgive me if you've said before, but how did you go about writing this story? Did you plan it out to begin with, laying out every plot point from beginning to end prior to actually writing it? Or did you just have a vague idea and decided to wing it from there? Where did you draw inspiration for the characters, in particular Simon and his relationship with Leo -- why the decision to let Simon stay, rather than banishing him altogether?

The story took me a very long time, about 3 years. However during this time period sometimes a few months would go by with the story either untouched or only gaining a single chapter. During this time at school, I was reading my books for English and gaining a better understanding of how to present certain ideas and themes. So that time was never wasted, but could it have been faster? Absolutely.

As for the actual planning of the story, I would for the most part wing it then wait a bit and come up with an idea that I think could really make the story better. So then I would go back and add it in or keep rewriting a certain scene until I felt it was sufficient and of equal quality with the rest of the story. In fact, the relationship between Bellus and Leo was a last-second change I had made. The same thing goes for the moonseed berries. That was completely spontaneous. I originally had Leo actually possess that power to freeze creatures with his eyes, but then I wanted Xoer the mongoose to do that. So I made some changes and went back and added a little foreshadowing in there and viola!

The inspiration for characters came from several places. When Doomwyte first came out, I was inspired and made a bunch of characters and drew them in a small notebook with miniature biographies. Maximus was the very first entry, followed by Tarsl Grudd (who played a minor role as the airsick mole. But if you look in cavern hole at the "minecraft redwall server" he was my RP character and Mole City was a location in the server!) I got the idea for Xoer from an RP, though I forget the name of it. He was originally named Lucas Valderez the Snakeslayer and was a mongoose but with a twist. He was absolutely mad (probably due to a snake-bite) and was convinced that there was an ant by the name of Simon living in his head. Leonardo was made after I thought of the Seaspark. I wanted a strong captain that could lead such a ship, so I decided on Leonardo, who was "tall for a mouse..." When I began to write  I mixed and matched and cut and glued different qualities of different characters together until you had the voyagers in the story. Many of the others were thought up along the way to emphasis diversity and their unlikely unifying force (and, initially, their only unifying force).

As for why I kept Simon, this story was written as a drama (at least that's what I was going for ). And dramas never FULLY leave you with that feeling of "ahhh, I know how every creature's destiny ended." No, there needs to be that factor of "But wait! How am I supposed to know what happened to them if you only gave me a little bit!?" You know what happened, but there's no details telling you exactly what. So it leaves it up to the reader to decide what happened next. But don't worry, you'll get those details (look at the next question )

You mentioned some time ago about the possibility of a sequel, if you ever got the time -- does that still look like something you're going to work on maybe, or has the idea been retired? Inquiring minds, y'know.

Yes, I am currently working on book II and book III already has about 25 pages to it. I will be shifting my main focus to book II and get that out relatively quickly. The story will be focusing on what happened just after the events in book 1, so the gang will all be there. Unfortunately, the epilogue of book 1 will have to be slightly altered so that it all makes sense. But those are pretty minor changes! I also want to get a good cover for all three parts (which was some of my incentive to sign up for your fanfic contest lol) and already have some ideas that I think would look neat when done by an artist.

If all goes according to schedule, Book II, The Life of Simon will be out and on the forum in early Spring!

Thanks again for your kind review, Osu! It means quite a lot!

[Feles]

I cant wait for your new fanfic

[Captain Tammo]

Thanks Rake! I've been in the process of writing it and I feel that it's been coming along nicely. But I'll let you guys be the deciders of that.

And speaking of the new fanfic, I have some news that I hope you all will enjoy, so stay tuned!

Part II:

The Life of Simon

Coming June 15, 2014

(Image courtesy of Osu)

[Feles]

yay! my comment is at the beginning as praise from other forum members 

[The Skarzs]

Great!
I have not yet finished this, but will do so in the future!
Edit: I have finished. (If nothing else, this made a great late-night entertainment)
. . .
Upon saying that, I feel like a horrible person.
*Slaps the usual stoic self back into the thought process*
Right. Can I just say that I loved this story; It was hard to not finish. Great plot, wonderful characters, (my thumb is bleeding, dang it), and a satisfying final battle.
Now to the nitty gritty of my critical mind that wishes you to see all you did wrong for no other reason than to make you feel bad. I kid you: I don't need to be critical to make you feel bad. <--- This gives you permission to slap me.
There were a couple grammar/spelling/word usages in there, but those were easily overlooked. Just on your comment on Xoer's contraption- about it being far from Redwall's archaic time- I actually found it more surprising to see a clock mentioned. Y'know Simon/Leo's chant? The:

You who are of The Menace,
This is your fate,
You who are of The Menace,
I will send you to hell's gate!

Would have ringed better if it had gone like this:

You who are of The Menace,
Here I tell to you your fate,
You who are of The Menace,
I will send you to hell's gate!

This might be disregarded because of Leo's insanity. (Insanity would be correctly used here, wouldn't it? He was trying to catch Deamal over and over, expecting to finally kill him, without any fruit. No, not like bananas sort of fruit.)
Also: the tow characters "Jacques and Brian". . .
I see what you did there. . .

Now, before you decide to kill me for being the critical troll I am (mythical troll, not internet troll, thank you; respect the species), I shall leave your imminent wrath. Thank you for writing this.

[Captain Tammo]

I'm thrilled to see that you liked it so much! It's always exciting to see feedback!

As for some of your tips, I agree in some areas! It's hard making a fanfiction that others will like, but I don't even know where to start with making a perfect one! so constructive criticism is always welcome

As for the technology throughout the story, I am well aware that some things are a bit far-fetched for Redwall's time period. I don't regret putting Nol's clock in the story because that's just something I added for my enjoyment. A clock is a beautiful thing and would have been the pinnacle of craftsbeastship at the time (I was trying to develop Nol's character without talking about him too much). However looking back on it part of me does wish I simply stuck with something else. A small trinket of mole culture perhaps?

I have noticed some typos and grammatical errors. However I haven't combed through and corrected them on the forum simply because I feel that though it may look a little prettier, the story will ultimately remain the exact same.

I suppose I could have done a little better with the chant. But if we're focusing on such minor details that could use changing, then I'm absolutely thrilled hahah!

Thanks for your feedback, Skarzs, it's great to hear another good review! I hope you guys will enjoy book II even more!

Yeah! 1,000 Views!!!

[The Skarzs]

1001 

[Captain Tammo]

Note to people who have already finished the story: The epilogue of book I has been slightly altered to allow for a better transition into the events of Book II. Everything else has stayed the same

[Feles]

when will book two be coming out again?
I'm too lazy to comb through comments

[Osu]

TWO MORE DAYS!!

[Captain Tammo]

Updated 9/30/15

I HAVE NEWS!

This topic has just surpassed the TWELVE THOUSAND view mark, making it one of the most successful fanfictions on the forum and the first fanfiction to reach this view count (currently ranked 1st in views out of more than 250 fanfictions)!!! I want to give a huge thank you to everyone who has supported the story so far; it really means the whole world to me! When I initially wrote this story, I had no idea that it would eventually grow to be this popular and I couldn't be happier with how it's all gone. You guys rock!

So in celebration, I figured that it would be a good time to share some news with the newer readers, as well as a bit for those who've already read. Fairly recently, I posted a sequel to this fanfiction entitled The Life of Simon, you should go check it out! From the reviews I've gotten so far, people seem to think that it's even better than Part I (the topic you're on now), which is absolutely wonderful to hear! I highly suggest you go read it. And stay tuned for another upcoming announcement on the Book II thread that I'm sure you readers will enjoy .

Thank you all again from the bottom of my heart. It means the world to me that you've all been enjoying this so far!

Until next time!
~C.T.