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You know you have been reading too much Redwall when...

Started by Matthias720, August 07, 2011, 06:30:02 PM

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Nightfire

108: You desire to have a huge pitchfork and name it Tung.
108: You want to build a replica of Redwall Abbey out of cardboard.
109: Despite their objections, you insist to your parents that green habits are the latest fashion.
110: You learn proficiency with a bow in a desire to be 'just like a squirrel.'
Feel free to send me a private message or visit me at my deviantART, FictionPress, or FanFiction accounts. Message me for account links.

Martha Braebuck

Oh man...I've been reading these lots and I do a ton of them!
~Love, •*Martha*•

Whoohahahahooh!! ~Hon Rosie's awesome laugh!

"Fate 'n fortune smile on us,
and of this crew take care,
but let no greedy robber try,
to guzzle up my share!"

Martha Braebuck

111: You love all kind of rodents when everyone you know hates them
112: You want to have pet mice, squirrels, hares ect....(I totally do)
~Love, •*Martha*•

Whoohahahahooh!! ~Hon Rosie's awesome laugh!

"Fate 'n fortune smile on us,
and of this crew take care,
but let no greedy robber try,
to guzzle up my share!"

Matthias720

@Martha: Please be careful about not double-posting.

113. You come up with alternate titles for each of the three 'books' in a Redwall novel

Icefire

#49
Quote from: Nightfire on August 11, 2011, 10:26:32 PM
98: You have a crush on Martin the Warrior, despite the fact that he is a mouse from a book that is set in a time period well beyond your own. :D
I don't think I actually had a crush, but that was probably the closest I came to having a crush on a fictional character. lol

114. When you see a random squirrel in the woods (who just happens to have rather dark fur) and name it Ranguvar. (Has Nightfire already done this one?)
115. When you make up your own character for each Redwall book just so you can be part of the adventure. (I have.....And yes I have a different character for practically all the books....The few exceptions are books that are sequels (Bellmaker, Mossflower, Legend of Luke) and Doomwyte (The one and only Redwall book I didn't like at all)
116. When you go on a hike and look off the path to a heavily wooded area and think "There's Redwall!"
Living in peace, aye many a season,
Calm in life and sound in reason,,
'Til evil arrives, a wicked horde,
Driving a warrior to pick up his sword,
The challenger rings then, straight and fair,
Justice is with us, beware. Beware!

Tiria Wildlough

117. When you go around terrorising your siblings and saying, 'I am Slagar the Cruel! If I take it into my head that you will not live, THEN YOU DIE!'
Bahahahahaa!
My tumblr! not-the-skycat.tumblr.com
I'm not a hipster.

Nightfire

Quote from: Icefire on August 12, 2011, 08:19:18 PM
114. When you see a random squirrel in the woods (who just happens to have rather dark fur) and name it Ranguvar. (Has Nightfire already done this one?)

Yes, I have, actually. :P

118: When you want to buy a sandstone quarry so you can build you own Redwall Abbey.
119: Whe you have pet rats and give them Redwall names like Cluny or Cheesethiefm despite your sibling's objections. (I have, actually.)
120: When you have a severe desire to never take baths and go pirating.
Feel free to send me a private message or visit me at my deviantART, FictionPress, or FanFiction accounts. Message me for account links.

rakkety tam

121 u have made seaweed grog and like it

i made it but i hate it
rock'n'roll  will survive


25% nerd 25% redneck 25% rocker 25% Redwaller  100% me


If war must come, let it come during my generation, so that my children will know peace

Skalrag of Marshank

Quote from: Nightfire on August 10, 2011, 04:11:14 AM
I did. I found his Email address, and even though he is retired from the site now, I still emailed him. He sent back his usuall list of insults. Here is what I wrote to him:

Dear Slagar the Cruel,
> I have a few questions. Please just give me straight answers.
>
> 1. What do you think of Ranguvar Foeseeker? Beacause she's my great-great-great-great aunt.
> 2. Is there a way to enhance a longbow's strength? Because I want to skewer you with an arrow, but you're too far away.
> 3. Am I allowed to shoot you between the eyes with my poison darts? Because I hate you.
> 4. What happened to the fire lizards that lived in Salamandastron? Because no one ever talks about them anymore.
> 5. Hey, mind if I burn down the Dark Forest? That way you'll be forced to leave so I can resurrect you and then kill you again.
> 6. What the heck is 'Slagar' supposed to mean, anyway? Redflash or Mousedeath sounds much cooler.
> 7. Do you mind if I bury your mother underrgroung in Admodeus' cave? Because I hate her.
> 8. How come you're a male fox, but you're a healer? I thought only vixens could be healers.
> 9. Do you think I should get some more weapons? I have a longbow, dirk, and blowpipe, but I think I'll need a sword.
> 10. Do you mind if I kill Matthias? Not that I need your permission, of course.
>
> That mask of yours makes you look like you belong in a circus.
>
> Sincerely,
> Nightfire, Mercenary Squirrelqueen of the Northlands.

And this is what he responded:

Dear Nightmare,

Wow, you Northlanders sure aren't an observant lot, are you? Probably due to your foolishness. Since you're all fools up there, I mean. My stint in the advice column business ended seasons ago when that "Project Slagar" thing was retired. But, what the hellgates, might as well bang out a list of rote numbered insults for old time's sake:

1. I don't think of her. Nobody else does, either. Crimony, you couldn't pick a better ancestor to latch onto?
2. Yeah, I have an idea: point it at somebeast who isn't already dead.
3. I'm guessing your aim is such that I wouldn't have to worry.
4. It's called a "legend", Nightfire. Legends aren't real - there were no such lizards! Just like there never was a Luke.
5. An admirable goal, but I'm pretty sure they fireproofed the place. At least, I think that's why all of these trees seem to be made of aluminum...
6. It's Ragals backwards, of course.
7. Asmodeus is dead as well, you know. And by all means, defile both of their resting places. Get the rest of my enemies while you're at it.
8. I thought only fools wrote in to defunct advice columns! (NOTE: I was right)
9. I think you should get some psychiatric help.
10. You really enjoy threatening the dead, huh? Alright, tell you what: find a way for the dead to come back to life, and I'll give you the first swing at Matthias. Of course, I'll also return from the dead around that time, which means your own life will be dramatically shortened. But then you could just come back again, so... why am I wasting so much brain power on such a patently worthless query? YOU. YOU'RE A FOOL. THE END.

Heeheehee.

LOL. ;D I REALLY need to e-mail him one of these days. It's really cool that he e-mailed you back. ;D :D ;D :D I was ROTFL the whole time I read this.
"With great chocolate comes great responsibility."
  ~ Larry Boy

rakkety tam

rock'n'roll  will survive


25% nerd 25% redneck 25% rocker 25% Redwaller  100% me


If war must come, let it come during my generation, so that my children will know peace

Nightfire

What the heck is ROTFL supposed to mean? Sorry for my ignorance, but I'm old fasioned. LOL, OOC, and BIC are the only abbreiviations that I know.
Feel free to send me a private message or visit me at my deviantART, FictionPress, or FanFiction accounts. Message me for account links.

Tiria Wildlough

I emailed Slagar the Cruel. I'll post it here or somewhere when I get an answer.  ;D
*Rubs hands together with glee.*
BAHAHAHAHAA!!
My tumblr! not-the-skycat.tumblr.com
I'm not a hipster.

DanielofRedwall

Quote from: Nightfire on August 14, 2011, 03:25:31 AM
What the heck is ROTFL supposed to mean? Sorry for my ignorance, but I'm old fasioned. LOL, OOC, and BIC are the only abbreiviations that I know.
Roll On The Floor Laughing.
Received mostly negative reviews.

Matthias720

122. You don't have to wonder about the inconsistencies in Redwall because you know why they're there

123. Your ringtone (if you have a phone that supports them) is the Redwall TV series theme

Skalrag of Marshank

Quote from: Matthias720 on August 14, 2011, 04:36:36 PM
123. Your ringtone (if you have a phone that supports them) is the Redwall TV series theme

I would...if I ever got around to getting one...
"With great chocolate comes great responsibility."
  ~ Larry Boy