Funny Rhymes from Redwall (Retold by the Illustrious Skarzs Esquire)

[The Skarzs]

I can make poems. Yes I can.


Here's a bit of a sad one.


How long, how far, are you today?
Seasons and trials, have driven away,
All we were, all we could be.
Not what we did want.
Now gone, and vanquished, is our love.
No one can put back, what we have lost.
In my heart, I wish to have
And I still long for thee.
Broken, and wasted, and still far away.
Great is the wound that plagues me each day.
Will you wait, to find me come,
Some day back, to you. . .

This is actually a song, not a poem. If you have seen this before and wonder where, I had posted it in Wildcat Attack RP.

[Lady Amber]

I like it!

[The Skarzs]

Thank you!

[The Skarzs]

The Great Froggy's Feast

The froggy lord was getting old
In a place called Riverbog,
And celebration, he did want
That grown-up pollywog.
He sent for both his friends and foes,
To dine with him that day.
They all came 'ere and sitted down,
While they heard him say:
My dearest friends, they heard him croak,
And dearest enemies.
My time is short upon this earth,
And I ask you please,
To join with me at table set,
High stacked with lovely food.
They all did eat, and eat until
A ferret kicked a foot.
Well he did kick (on accident)
And hit a dish of stew,
That landed on an otter's face,
Who said, "Now look here, you,
I've come to eat, not take a bath,
And now you'll have to pay."
He threw a pie that whistled past,
That ferret who did duck.
It flew and landed in a pot
That platted all with stuff.
The yells did start, quite loud at first,
But then they grew to roars.
The whole place opened up into
Massive food-fight wars.
A mouse was hit right off his paws
From a well-placed slice of cake.
A weasel went out with a splat from
A cheese half his own weight.
Midst all this great confusion,
The froggy lord did eat.
He caught a passing turnover,
And a cookie for a treat.
And when that frog did finish,
Upon the table did stand
To be hit with countless food items,
And fall heavily on the land.
He died with his mouth open,
Fillin' it with food,
And the ferret who did start it all
Cried, "This party sure was good."

[rachel25]

HAHAHAHHAAAA! OH, THAT WAS BRILLIANT! Thank you so much, that was great!

[The Skarzs]

Thank you!
It was a lot of fun to do!

[Tam and Martin]

LOL! AWESOME! 

[The Skarzs]

It's better if you read it out loud.

[Tam and Martin]

 

[Blazemane]

Well he did kick (on accident)
And hit a dish of stew,
That landed on an otter's face,
Who said, "Now look here, you,
I've come to eat, not take a bath,
And now you'll have to pay."

Ha!

And I really like the turnaround on this phrase:

The yells did start, quite loud at first,
But then they grew to roars.

I read the word "but," and I think you're going to say something about the sound quieting down for some reason. It's really funny to read it suddenly go in the other direction--it redefines the meaning of "quite of loud at first" to "not loud enough."

I like your imagination, and the way the rhythm and rhyme of the poem keep the momentum going. Awesome job!

[The Skarzs]

Thank you very much!

[BlueRose]

That. Was. Amazing.

It's absolutely lovely, dahling.

[The Skarzs]

Why thank you.

[rachel25]

I still laugh when I think about it.
I may have to use that in a RP, if that's ok?

[The Skarzs]

By all means! (Just say who wrote it )