Overlord's Orders IX

[Cornflower MM]

Goody!

[Rusvul]

"Very good. Six of you are willing? That is acceptable." The Overlord pressed a button, and the rest of the creatures dissolved. "So. I have a task for you- Simple, just to warm up. Down on deck three is a trunk of a crewman who recently died. You need to go down that lift three floors, and walk until you find a door marked '319.' You'll need to open it, it should be unlocked. Inside, there will be a basic room, standard for all crew, and a chest. I need you to bring me that trunk.

-Six hours later-

Finally. You're ba- What? No trunk? How.. How can you manage to fail at this? And why are you all bruised and bleeding? Explain to me. I'll trigger some nanites to fix you up- Not that you deserve it. I should be using them for their other purpose, by rights.

As nanites buzz around the room, your wounds fade, though the overlord keeps scowling at you.


(Round One begin!)

[James Gryphon]

James Gryphon, or 'Gryph', as he was known, quickly replied, "We immediately set off to the turbolift, led by Taggerung. He pressed the "Call" button and we waited for it to come. We stood there for five whole minutes before it showed up. Apparently the wait was too much for Cornflower; she was hopping around, and when the doors opened she squealed "Me first!", ran into the lift, and closed them again before any of us could react. There weren't any other lifts in sight, so Daniel suggested we take the chain ladder down. However, Leatho's afraid of heights, and it took us a while to coax him to come down after us."

"Anyway, we finally got down to the third deck, and started walking through the corridor to get to where we were going. It was dark, as there had been a power outage. The engineer that was there trying to fix it told us it was because someone hit all the buttons in the turbolift, and it overloaded the system. Tagg said he had a "night vision" optical enhancement and that we should follow him. Well, he has dyslexia. We stumbled around for half an hour until the lights came back on. Once that had happened, Tam easily found the right door and called us over. When we entered the room, we found that it was empty! Daniel used his amazing forensic skills (and a sci-corder) to determine that the chest had recently been vaporized. He said that it had probably been destroyed in the past hour."

"Daniel suggested we search for the saboteur by scanning for their pheromone trail. For some reason, Tam seemed to be against this and knocked him down when he tried to use the bioscanner. Daniel didn't much like that, and hit Tam square on the jaw. They started fighting, and when we tried to break them apart, they hit us too. That's where all of our bruises and blood came from. I don't know how Cornflower could've gotten hurt, though. You'll have to ask her about that."

"I suggested we check the computers to see whether all the cameras and motion detectors picked anything up, but it was in vain. The logs had been erased. By this time, Cornflower had showed up. She said she had a copy of "File Restorer", and that it could bring back the erased files, but when we loaded the data crystal into the computer, it turned out to be a Justin Beaver holoalbum. We were knocked unconscious by the sonic and psionic attack on our brains. When we came to, it was five hours and fifty minutes after we'd first set out. With the trail cold, I said that we should return and inform you as to the reason for the delay and that there was a dangerous spy on the loose, so we spent the last ten minutes rushing to get here. I'm sorry for the long delay, and for our group's complete failure to accomplish this mission."

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

"Overlord, I feel it is necessary at this juncture to point out a most fascinating detail that has not been disclosed yet. The bioscanner was sentient. Yes, the innocent bioscanner of Daniel was talking up a storm the whole time but everybody thought it was just Daniel blabbering on. The bioscanner was given anonymously as a gift to Daniel to supplement his forensics skills. It was a nice gesture, but the anonymous giver knew what they were doing the whole time and what it was. What evil they had brought to us. What horrifying, incomprehensible evil they had brought into our very midst. Some say even the beavers cower in fear of the thought of one of these bioscanners. They can cause power outages, vaporize almost anything, say almost anything in any tongue or thought. They are the worst of all creatures. They care about nothing, know little, say much and hate all. You see, Daniel's bioscanner is a Mark 6 bioscanner, meaning it had to be produced on one of Earth's seven clones during the Great Beaver Hopping Dance Plague of 2476's third consecutive iteration. What this means is, of course, exceptionally clear to you. Though, for the benefit of a certain few of my fellow servants, I suppose I will have to take the time to explain it further. This plague was triggered by the spreading of a new form of music developed by a musically-inclined beaver. What was this beaver's name? Osyetderafeltighuniamtagerlios. What are the last four letters of his name? Lios. Flop it and you get...soil. Soil is common on many planets. What else is inexplicably on many planets? Turtles. And where do all turtles originate from? Their homeworld. And who is the current Queen of that planet? Bonnie Genie Rig. Re-arrange the letters and you find that an anagram of Bonnie Genie Rig is bioengineering. What is the most bio-engineered crop in this galaxy? Corn. And what is the first part of Cornflower's name? Corn. I believe I have made it abundantly clear who is most responsible for the bioscanner ruining everything."

[Tam and Martin]

Mighty Overlord, all that Gryph has claimed we did I will say is all the truth though I feel I must expand more upon why Daniel and I were fighting each other. When Daniel suggested that we use the bioscanner, it was a great idea if it wasn't for the fact that someone had laid a microscopic bomb on the bioscanner which I could tell was going to go off within the hour. How could I tell it had a bomb on it? Well I had brought my vision goggles with me that could zoom in and out and had a microscope in it. I saw the bomb on it and when I told Daniel about it, and he said that he was certain that there was no bomb and that it was completely safe.

Well, me not wanting anyone or anything to blow up, I kept insisting that he should let me take off the bomb but he refused, so I took a swing at him to try and knock him down and reach the bioscanner. Well, I hit him, not hard enough though because he hit me right back. And we went back and forth like that for awhile until everyone tried to stop us. Then, I tried to tell them but they couldn't hear me because Cornflower had come in yelling that she had found a File restorer. I tried swinging at Daniel some more and accidentally hit the others in the process. So I quit fighting and went along with what everyone else was doing hoping to take the bioscanner away from Daniel later. Well, we were knocked unconscious by the psionic attack and when we awoke, the bioscanner was gone. I decided not to worry about it anymore so I went with James back here to report to you.

That is all Overlord.

[Cornflower MM]

"Sir Overlord, it is true that when the lift finally came I ran in and shut the doors. But, it is worth noting (At least I think so) that I hit the lift's button's with my elbow, and that is why the doors shut. After I got down, the power was out. I stumbled around for quite some time, and that is why I have so many bruises and why I'm covered in blood. Then power came back on, and I heard the others, and I went over to the door. I heard them talk about the chest being vaporized, and so I went to check and see if there were any camera, or computers. When I found one, I grabbed the crystal that had 'File Restorer' marked on the cover. So, I went back, and went in. Then Tam started trying to punch Daniel some more, and I got hit. When that was resolved, we went along to the cameras and computers, and entered this. I have no idea why it was not properly marked, Overlord. I came back along to make sure that the rest of my teammates did not give me a bad name, sir."

[DanielofRedwall]

"Might I just add, oh great Overlord, that I had no idea at all that the bioscanner was sentient. In fact, the box it came in specifically outlined on a big sticker on the front that 'this product is in no way sentient and will not cause power outages, vaporize things or even talk", so I was just say surprised as the others when the scanner did just that. In fact, I have half a mind to sue the company for false advertising. Sadly there was no button to turn off the babbling either, so we just had to put up with it. It did its job perfectly otherwise.

And the fact that I did not notice the microscopic bomb has a pretty obvious explanation- it is microscopic, and I don't have fancy microscope goggles like Tam. I just have outstanding forensic skills.

And finally, the reason I was hitting Tam was not in retaliation for hitting me, it was because I noticed he was bugged. And I don't mean he had spy gear on him, he literally had thousands of tiny insects crawling all over him and I was trying to whack them off. Honestly I'm amazed he didn't notice them. I was trying to explain to him why I was hitting him, but he was yelling something back at me (which I now know to be him telling me about the bomb) and so we just ended up yelling over each other. Some of the insects spread to the other group members, so I tried hitting them off them too. Successfully too, might I add, if it weren't for me we would have a serious insect outbreak. So that's the reason for my hitting."

[James Gryphon]

"I think the insects were a "gift" from Leatho. You see, when we were in our assigned room yesternight, I saw them crawling all over him. When I asked him about it, he told us that that being chosen as a host by the bugs was one of the greatest honors a man could have. Apparently they're regarded as nearly sacred animals in his culture, as he said that his people's laws required him to avenge any of them that he saw someone kill.  Anyway, Daniel was out getting our meal, so he wasn't there when Leatho explained about all of that. Tagg, who'd already gone to sleep, had asked us to keep the lights dim, so I guess Daniel didn't have a chance to see any of the critters until today. There wasn't enough room for everyone to have their own bed, so Tam and Leatho shared a bunk, and Leatho's bugs must've taken a liking to Tam."

[Rusvul]

OOC: Round ends tomorrow!

[Rusvul]

OOC: Extending time one day, Leatho hasn't posted yet. Giving him one more day to do so. Round ends tomorrow. Carry on.

[Cornflower MM]

OOC: *Raises hand* LEatho was at camp all week! He only just returned, I believe.

[Rusvul]

OOC: Yes, which I'm sure was great fun, however it doesn't mean I can delay the round indefinitely. I might give him one more day if he doesn't post today, but I'd really rather the rounds didn't drag on for too long.

[Leatho Shellhound]

OOC: so sorry, but I'm dead tired right now, can I post tomorrow?

[Rusvul]

OOC: Sure, that's cool.

[Leatho Shellhound]

If I might be so bold, the bugs have special gas in them that can un-vaporize chests. So knowing that they would be helpful for carring out your orders I brought them along. And it seems Tam took them from me when I was sleeping.

So b/c Danile killed these valuable insects we weren't able to get back the chest you wanted.