The Endless Story

[James Gryphon]

He killed Sauron and destroyed all of his rings, and then exposed himself to gold kryptonite.

[Delthion]

The Gold Kryptonite killed him and let Orome back into the world.

[James Gryphon]

Then Orome tripped while he was going down the stairs, fell, and died.

[Delthion]

But since he was already dead he came back to life. And since he was a Valar he could not be killed.

[James Gryphon]

It was moot, as J.R.R Tolkien came back from the dead and decanonized the entire Silmarillion.

[Delthion]

But he realized he awful mistake and recanonized while being set as ruler over all of the world except for Taiwan.

[James Gryphon]

But then he remembered to take his medication, and decanonized the Silmarillion again, and had all copies of it everywhere destroyed. Then he retired to Taiwan to write cheesy romance novels.

[Delthion]

But this was his clone.

[James Gryphon]

The clone signed a contract giving all of Tolkien's rights in perpetuity over to George Lucas.

[Izeroth]

 Lucasfilm's staff cackled as they thought of new ways they could mess with Tolkien's fans.

[James Gryphon]

To kick things off, they made a prequel trilogy that contradicted everything fans had thought about the history of the Lord of the Rings.

[Delthion]

Then the real J.R.R. Tolkien woke up, and found that it was all a bad dream.

[Norham Waterpaw]

But he realized it was all a prophecy about the destruction and doom of LucasFilm. He then realized it had already gone down the toilet, and was bought up by Disney. He then surmized their current fate was worse than death and he went back to sleep. But when he woke up again...

[Jukka the Sling]

...he discovered that Luthien Tinuviel was dancing in his living room.

[James Gryphon]

And he realized how ridiculously overpowered he had made elves in his books, and rewrote everything to make them physically weak.