The Endless Story

[Blaggut]

And then a tide of enchanted ivy took over Middle Earth, choking out all life.

[Delthion]

But it was already dead, so life returned to Middle-Earth.

[Izeroth]

 ...In the form of single-celled organisms living in a puddle.

[Delthion]

But they were already single-celled organisms living in a puddle. So they went back to the way they were originally.

[LT Sandpaw]

Except it didn't and Middle Earth was forgotten forever.

[Jukka the Sling]

...To the angstiness of the fangirls who wrote Legomances.  Several committed suicide.

Meanwhile, Kili was being chased by a mob of fangirls through Mirkwood.

[Lady Amber]

He then fell flat on his face into a pit.

[Jetthebinturong]

And died.

[Lady Amber]

All the fangirls mourned his loss, but soon ran after Legolas, who was hunting giant spiders.

[Izeroth]

 Fortunately for Legolas, the giant spiders devoured the fangirls.

[James Gryphon]

Then the spiders devoured Legolas.

[Jukka the Sling]

So the few remaining fangirls who happened to be in Erebor mourning the loss of Thorin Oakenshield hurried to stalk Thranduil.

[Vilu Daskar]

Thranduil ordered his guards to shoot the fangirls but it was useless because. . .

[Jukka the Sling]

...they were all wearing mithril armor!  With lots and lots of pink sparkles!  Anyone who got within five feet of them promptly fainted from the glitz overdose.

[Vilu Daskar]

So Thranduil quickly ran to The Lonely Mountain to get mithril fangirl repellent.