The Endless Story

[Jukka the Sling]

50.9% of the Shire hobbits died that day, but the rest were led to safety by a fluffy pink unicorn named Hamandhaggis.

[Jetthebinturong]

But this turned out to be a ploy and Hamandhaggis ate them all

[Izeroth]

 And then Gandalf came and banished Hamandhaggis to the netherworld.

[Jetthebinturong]

But this was rather pointless as all the hobbits were dead

[Jukka the Sling]

Then Legolas misfired and shot Gandalf in the foot.

[Izeroth]

 And then Gandalf killed all the elves and went to Numenor, because all the people there were awesome.

[Jukka the Sling]

However, Galadriel made everyone love her and despair, so Frodo (who luckily had avoided death) ran off to the Undying Lands to recruit an army to take out the insane wizard.

[James Gryphon]

Unknown to anyone mentioned above, Smaug had survived being shot with an arrow, and filled in the hole in his armor with more jewels, making him practically invulnerable.

[Izeroth]

 Then Thorin, who never actually died, raised an army of dwarves and charged Smaug's lair.

[James Gryphon]

Smaug wasn't at home, being occupied with eating Galadriel and the Ring.

[Jukka the Sling]

But then the Ring turned Smaug invisible.

[Delthion]

But it made him corrupt, so he joined Thorin...

[Izeroth]

 And then Thorin invaded magical pony land and enslaved its inhabitants.

[Delthion]

But then Thorin changed his name and stepped on a Thorn.

[Izeroth]

And then, using the enslaved ponies as test subjects, Russian scientists proved that friendship is not magic.