The Endless Story

[Ungatt Trunn]

But what they didn't know is that they had only finished off the decoys: then the real Fairy godmother put the Fairy godfather and all his followers out of existance.

[James Gryphon]

...but, being nearly-blind, she had stupidly only destroyed cardboard cutouts; the real mafioso were behind the curtain, and bumped her off; then the fairy godfather, who was not actually a fairy, and was only called that because of his habit of granting last wishes to prisoners, used his anti-fairy bomb to destroy all fairies everywhere.

[Jukka the Sling]

However, the fairies defused the bomb, and then embarked on a crusade with the help of the Elven-king Thranduil to wipe out the mafia.

[Lady Amber]

Which they successfully accomplished. But then giant spiders came and destroyed Thranduil's kingdom in Mirkwood.

[Jukka the Sling]

Legolas cried.

[Ungatt Trunn]

Then the universe exploded and Prince Charming became king again!

[Izeroth]

 Charming ordered the execution of Azog and Tauriel, and Tolkien's fans rejoiced.

[Jukka the Sling]

(Seriously, what do people have against Tauriel? I enjoyed the Hobbit trilogy, and she was a cool addition to the plot, even if non-canon.)

Tauriel fled to the Undying Lands.

[Lady Amber]

(Tauriel is awesome!)
Then Gandalf banished Charming.

[Ungatt Trunn]

Then the Fairy godmother banished Gandalf.

[Jetthebinturong]

But since he was already in exile he came back and killed her

[Izeroth]

 And then Morgoth broke his chain and killed everybody.

[James Gryphon]

But Fingolfin came back from the dead, and, armed with a magic sword, sliced Morgoth up so badly that the puny so-called dark lord could no longer move.

[Izeroth]

 Fingolfin was about to slay Morgoth, but got crushed by a falling meteor.

[Lady Ashenwyte]

So Morgoth was happy.