Strangers at Redwall (crackfic) - Winner of the RAFF Atypical Award!

[Jukka the Sling]

  Thanks!

[rachel25]

When do you think you'll post the next chapter?

[Jukka the Sling]

As soon as I feel like writing some more of it...   (I'll try to work on it today, hopefully.)

[rachel25]

Okay.

[Jukka the Sling]

After about six months of waiting, I present to you... Chapter Seven!  (Sorry for the wait.)

Chapter Seven

"I think we should try the Gatehouse," Del said.  "It has to be there."

They were all standing in the shadow of a small doorway that faced south.

Amber poked her head out so she could see, her auburn headfur falling around her face.  "Yeah, but there could be more arrows," she said, and pulled back again.

Several sighed.

"Well, there haven't been any arrows for a while," Rain said, peering out past Skarzs's shoulder at the sun-dappled lawns outside.  It was late afternoon, on one of those gorgeous days in late summer when it has rained the day before and the wind wildly tosses the treetops every few minutes. Cottony clouds scudded across the sky and cast fickle shadows on the ground.

"I think we should make a dash for the, uh, south wall," Tam said, pointing, "and then follow it to the west wall and the Gatehouse."

They looked.  The south wall was a distance away, and the Abbey orchard and part of the pond lay between it and them.

Skarzs, the de facto leader of the gang, turned to his friends.  "Well, what do you guys think?"

"Maybe.  If we hurry," Russa said, flipping her wild, unbrushed red hair out of her face.

The others nodded, though a few looked a little unsure.

"Okay..." Skarzs said, and suddenly broke cover and ran.  The others followed, dashing through the orchard (where Tam and Del somehow managed to score a pear each), and within a minute the forumers reached the south wall, panting.  Being careful to stay under the overhang of the battlements, they turned west and kept walking, single file.  Del and Tam were at the back, taking huge bites of pear.

Corny, third from the back, stared at the hare and other squirrel with undisguised confusion.  "Seriously?  We have a mission here, y'know!"

"We haven't eaten in ages!" Tam protested.

Del grinned and, just to spite the squirrelmaid, took another huge bite of fruit.  Juice dribbled down his furry chin and squirted out in a stream that hit Corny in the eye.  (He hadn't planned that, of course, but man, was it funny now!)

"Sorry!" he giggled as Corny spluttered in annoyance and rubbed at her juicy eye.

"Ew!  Gross!" she exclaimed.  But seeing Tam and Del's mirth, she broke down laughing too, rolled her eyes, and walked on.

They reached the Gatehouse a few minutes later.  By now everyone had realized that Redwall was more vast than any had imagined.  And they still couldn't get over the fact that they were actually there!  Russa looked like she was going to melt into a happy little puddle, she was grinning so much, and Faiy kept giving impulsive little shudders of excitement.  Which, you may imagine, alarmed everyone around her.

As was just said, they reached the Gatehouse.  Rach broke ranks and dashed inside before anyone could stop her.  Three seconds later, they heard a shriek of "I FOUND IT!" and Rach emerged, carrying the sword of legend and grinning like she was demented.

"Oh my word, I can't believe I'm actually seeing this!" Jukka gushed, running toward the ottermaid with the others.  "Seriously, all of this is so unbelievable, anyway, and you know, I think this is just the perfect day for this, with all this wind and stuff, it makes everything epic..."

Her sisters knew what she was talking about, but she doubted anyone else did, so she dropped the subject and backed away as the others surged forward, almost as epicized as she was.

"Okay," Skarzs said after the sword had been touched and gawked at for about half a minute, "I think we should get out of the open, because, you know, if a Redwaller saw us with that, they would probably think the wrong thing.  In here."  He beckoned with his large cougar paw, and the rest followed him into the Gatehouse. Tam shut the door and bolted it after them.

The Gatehouse was bigger than they had expected, and in surprise they looked around at the main room. It was clear that whatever strangeness was affecting the Abbey's inhabitants (and vermin arrows), it hadn't messed with any of Redwall's signature places or things.  Everything in the main room seemed to be as it should from the books' descriptions. There was an empty fireplace, a table, a large, overstuffed chair, a tall bookshelf against one wall, and right next to that wall brackets for the Sword of Martin. Then Corny and Jukka ran to the next room, smiling uncontrollably. The others followed, full of the thrill of finally being in the world that they'd read so much about. That room was full of books – they were even piled on the huge bed! Jukka pulled a volume from a shelf and thumbed through the first few pages, and then the ferretmaid practically screamed in excitement.

"LOOK, IT'S A BOOK THAT MY RP CHARACTER ABBESS FERN MADE A COPY OF!  YOU KNOW, FROM 'HIDDEN WITHIN THE WALLS'!  AND KAYLAN IN 'WILDCAT ATTACK' READ IT!!!"  She was going crazy and breathing hard.

"Wait, what?" Rain asked.  "So your RP character copied this book in an RP, but now it ended up here?"

"Yeah!" Jukka said, flipping through the book, her blue eyes intense.  "Yeah, it's definitely Fern.  She signed it and everything! See?"  She pointed to a page.  "How on earth could this be here?!"

Catching some of Jukka's excitement, Corny turned to the others.  "You know, this might mean that there's an Abbey record here of all of our characters!"

Instantly there was a general grab at the tomes on the shelves.  Books were dropped, creatures were jostled, and a general hilarity prevailed.  After a moment, more cries began ringing out.

"OH.  MY.  CRACKERS.  LOOK!" Corny shrieked.  "It's a book about A Winter to Freeze Your Heart!  Our characters are all in here!"

"WHERE?!" Rachel and Faiyloe yelled wildly together, crowding around the squirrelmaid.  They examined the book for a moment, then Faiy said rather thoughtfully, "This isn't exactly the same as our RP posts."

Rachel flipped to the title page.  "This record was compiled from many accounts by Sister Briar, Recorder of Redwall Abbey in Mossflower country," the ottermaid read aloud.  Del backed into her, yelling excitedly about how he'd just found an account of Wildcat Attack, and Rachel nearly dropped the book.  "Hey, watch it!"

"So... does that mean that all of our RP's - and maybe fanfics - affect this place or something?"  Rain was looking over their shoulder, and her eyes were wide with the implications.

"I guess..." Faiy breathed.

Rachel suddenly looked terribly upset.  "So when I killed off any of my characters, like my otter Zanga... it really happened in this world....  And I was rather upset about Zanga at the time, but now it's ten times worse."

Tam suddenly broke in.  "Wait, what about fanfics?  We haven't actually found any proof of that."  The hare rummaged around in different shelves until he came up suddenly with a book called 'The Origins of Simon'.  "Hey, I found Captain Tammo's fanfic!"

"Oh, man," Skarzs said.
---------------------------------
After another ten minutes of shrieking and general craziness, Skarzs suddenly yelled, "Alright, guys, we have a riddle to solve."  He put a couple of books back.

Somewhat reluctantly, the younger forumers also put their books back and filed out into the main room, seating themselves on a large braided rug.

"So, how does the poem go again?" Rain asked, crouching on the floor in a catlike fashion. Her black tail swished back and forth as if it had a life of its own.

Skarzs pulled it out of his pocket once again.

'Through love of a series,
Here you have been transported.
Seek Redwall,
Before you are thwarted
By vermin.

From over the plains come the foe.
If you wish to return,
On a quest you must go.
Find the sword of matchless worth,
Then use it to find your destiny.
Follow where it may lead.
The greenstone is the key.'"

The others looked thoughtful, and then suggestions and questions filled the air.

"'Use it to find your destiny'," Del mused aloud, tossing his pear core in what looked to be the Gatehouse trash can.

"What destiny?" Russa asked.  "Us getting out of here?"

"You're forgetting the 'follow where it may lead' part," Rachel said. "How do you follow a sword?"  Her brow wrinkled in confusion, and she leaned against the wall.

"And 'the greenstone is the key'..." Tam said, trailing off as he looked around.

Amber suddenly spoke up.  "Didn't Redwallers often spin the sword when they weren't sure which way to go?"

"Hmm, maybe you're right," Skarzs said.  "Anyone else?  No?  Okay, we're trying Amber's idea."

Placing the sword on a bare patch of floor, he spun it.  It whirled and then slowed, finally stopping with its blade pointing southeast.

"Maybe we should test it again, just to make sure it isn't a coincidence," Faiy said.

Skarzs obligingly spun it again, and for the second time it stopped, pointing southeast.

"Well, we know which way to go, but what about the greenstone thing?" Corny asked, hugging her knees to herself and resting her chin on them.  "Songbreeze's stick-thing?  It had a green stone in the end."

"Maybe..." Rain said doubtfully, looking around her.

"I dunno," Del said.  "Doesn't the riddle say to 'follow where it may lead' before mentioning the greenstone?  I think that means we should follow where the sword may lead, and we'll find the greenstone there."

There was a sudden tap on the window.  The forumers looked up to see the eerily beautiful face of Lilianna Crystalline Nightflash staring down at them...

[Søren]

Chapter 7 is almost as a big a deal as Star Wars 7. Very interesting plot Jukka, it's very good.(and ohhh, Lilianna is stalking Skarzs! )

[The Skarzs]

Thank you so much for writing this, Jukka! I was smiling through the whole thing.

[Søren]

*holds back tease* *is struggling*

Anyway, you said you had problems posting it, like you lost the file or something? How'd that work out?

[LT Sandpaw]

Nicely done Jukka, though for the Fan Fiction, RP thing to be possible Redwall would have had to been built and destroyed several times over... But that doesn't bother me from enjoying a good read. I particularly like how you managed to give everyone the spotlight at least once. Well besides Soren and the others but they're in a different place so whatever.

I hope you write the next chapter soon this is getting better and better.

[Jukka the Sling]

THANK YOU SO MUCH, GUYS!!!

@Soren:  Did I say that?  I must have been talking about another story.  Actually, the reason this took so long is because I am super lazy and the world's greatest procrastinator.   So, yeah.

@Sand:  I hve a vague plan that sort of explains that problem away. XD

[Cornflower MM]

Oh, very well done! I think you've it everyone spot on! (Except me. I would've plopped down on the floor and started reading the AWTFYH book. Hah.) When is the next chapter due?

[Jukka the Sling]

Thanks! I didn't want to lag the plot too much, though.

That depends.  I don't want to make any promises because I'm apparently so terrible at keeping them.

[rachel25]

I loved how you mentioned the RPs. I feel really bad about all the characters I ever killed off. There's quite a list. Especially if you include Adventure to Gadna. 

[Jukka the Sling]

Thanks!   That whole part with the books was totally unplanned.  It just came to me after I realized that if I was in the Gatehouse, I'd explore a bit and probably look through a book.  Then that whole bit just developed.  It was pretty fun to write.

[rachel25]

I enjoyed reading it.
Lilianna is a stalker!