Funny posts collection

[Ebantu the Kararehe]

*bump*

*Tree walks over and gives Verdauga a big ol' hug then turns to Kade*

I'll eat you.

*Tree hesitates*
*Tree smiles*
*Tree gives Kade a big ol' hug, with a pat on the head for good measure*

*Devours tree.*  Why didn't you leaf me alone?

Oof. He probably thought you were all bark and no bite.

Shows him.  My threats are deeply rooted in reality.

Guess he shouldn't have gone out on a limb.

The training os finally taking root. This will be my crowning achievement.

[lass of something much]

GOLD!!!!!

[Russa Nodrey]

Long.

*Sheev sleeps*   *Sheev is awakened*   *Sheev notices Kathleen Kennedy has boarded the ship*   INFANTRY!!!!  HALP!

*A bunch of Tessos swarm the beast and chuck her into the ocean with an anchor on her neck*

I think negotiations would have been a more pacifistic solution.

No

*Hears the beeping microwave*  *Pulls out some semi-moldy egg salad*  *Begins salivating all over the egg salad*  Oh! where are my manners?   Would you like some, Scott?  

Uhhh....That was from boot camp...

* Infant Lass looks horrified. She jumps into the sea to save the person the Tesso just threw in

*Grabs Lass before she jumps out*

That's no way to treat your wife.   *Kicks Scott's shins*

Ouch..She is a child....

Save a wife, save a life.

......

Golly, I'm clever.

[close]

[Sebias of Redwall]

Lol.

[lass of something much]

*Drops the One Ring into thread*

*Infant Ebby's ears flatten against her skull and her hackles rise* *she growls deep in her throat*

*eats the ring before it can cause problems*

*Drops the One Ring into thread*

*eats the ring before it can cause problems*

I was literally about to do that!

(Well, you know. Great minds think alike and all that.)

*Flaps and promptly falls on face*

Skillz.

*eats the ring before it can cause problems*

I believe that was mine.  Please do hand it over.

*Infant Ebby stops trying to haul Cornflower upright and charges at Kade* *Infant Ebby wraps herself around his footpaws* No! Bad, BAD Ring! It turns you into Gollum, and then you have no more floof and I be sad!

Now now, dear, everybeast knows that the Ring is good for keeping a luxurious coat of fur.  And that's doubly important for me, since my fur is oh so special.

Now now, dear, everybeast knows that the Ring is good for keeping a luxurious coat of fur.  And that's doubly important for me, since my fur is oh so special.

*Rushes into thread, looking for my engagement ring.*

Here you go Verdauga.

Spoiler

[close]

*Rushes into thread, looking for my engagement ring.*

You have an engagement ring?

Sweet!
*Takes the candy pop.*
Say, have you seen my engagement ring?

*Rushes into thread, looking for my engagement ring.*

You have an engagement ring?

^^^

Sweet!
*Takes the candy pop.*
Say, have you seen my engagement ring?

Here you go Verdauga.

Spoiler

[close]

*Rushes into thread, looking for my engagement ring.*

^^^(You have an engagement ring?

Ah.)
Well, I have to propose somehow, right? An empty box only works with cats.

ExCUSE ME?!

I mean, he isn't wrong.

Was I mumbling again? Goodness.

*splutters indignantly*

What? I didn't say it would work with wildcats.

Probably would though >_>

I do like empty boxes, but that doesn't mean they work as engagement rings.

Speaking of, Have you seen my engagement ring, Eb?

Speaking of, Have you seen my engagement ring, Eb?

Simple thing. Gold, I guess. Somebody said it was cursed, but I don't believe them. I added a little diamond to it.

Not my Ring then.  That sucker is unmodifiable.

Well, it was a really cool specimen! I dug it out of a mountain on another world!

O_O Um...the One Ring was destroyed when it was thrown into Mount Doom. Not even Melkor could have brought it back.

Calling Teer "Mount Doom" is kinda rude.

Why so? Taniwha were born from volcanoes. Possibly underwater volcanoes, but whatever.

Why are you calling her fat?

Calling Teer "Mount Doom" is kinda rude.

Wait a second. . . did Teer eat my engagement ring?

No, she ate my Ring.  Your ring is somewhere else.

Why are you calling her fat?

I'm not?

Stop calling Teer fat.  It's extremely rude.

No, she ate my Ring.  Your ring is somewhere else.

don't give me that. You were going to propose with a ring pop. Though, I could see why people would eat those.

Stop calling Teer fat.  It's extremely rude.

I'M NOT! When did I call her fat?

When Kade started developing reading problems.

Stop calling Teer fat.  It's extremely rude.

I'M NOT! When did I call her fat?

Look, if you stop now, I promise not to tell her.  I'm still very disappointed though.

See what I mean?

She wouldn't care if you did because it's not true!

Eb, I can't believe that you'd do something like this.  I really thought better of you.

*screams* I didn't do anything! I was talking (Tolkien?) about Mount Doom in Middle Earth! Eä, the World that Is! WHatever you want to call it.

*Shakes head.*  I just... I can't believe you.  I hope Teer never sees this.

Fine, don't believe me. Why should you? I'm only your wife!

*Is frankly just waiting for Teer to be on at this point.

Speaking of, Have you seen my engagement ring, Eb?

I has! I has! It was in da sink!

* Infant Lass runs up to Verdie and hands him the ring

Fine, don't believe me. Why should you? I'm only your wife!

Oh yeah?  When was the last time you acted like my wife, huh?  It's obvious that you're disgusted by my very appearance!  Every time that I'm near, you look away from me.  That hurts, you know?

Speaking of, Have you seen my engagement ring, Eb?

I has! I has! It was in da sink!

* Infant Lass runs up to Verdie and hands him the ring

Awesome!! . . . How'd it get in there?

I nono!

Fine, don't believe me. Why should you? I'm only your wife!

Oh yeah?  When was the last time you acted like my wife, huh?  It's obvious that you're disgusted by my very appearance!  Every time that I'm near, you look away from me.  That hurts, you know?

I am not and I do not!

I remember recently that all I did was yawn and you started whimpering, unable to stand the sight of my face.  Hmph.

I thought you were about to eat me!

AND WHY WOULD I DO THAT?!  If you actually thought of yourself as my wife, that idea would have never even crossed your mind!  This is exactly what I mean.

*snaps* I'm sorry if I offended you. (I actually have to go now, sorry. I've been on the laptop all morning.)

You clearly aren't.

(Lol, that's ok    Have fun and enjoy your weekend 'till you get back on)

[Sebias of Redwall]

Yesssssss. That had some excellent stuff! 

[lass of something much]

 

[Sebias of Redwall]

Thank you for posting that all here, btw.

(Also, I just realized it was my post that sparked that conversation. Yay me.  )

[Ebantu the Kararehe]

Yes, that was very fun, but perhaps you should put it in a spoiler?

[The Skarzs]

So basically you just posted an entire topic. XD

[lass of something much]

Did not

[Captain Wortshire]

Some topics have a lifespan of that entire segment...

[Russa Nodrey]

Sorry, but all attempts to close the portal would be futile.

Only I have the power over the portal%u2026

*The portal continues to spread. Growls and screeches are coming from it*

You know what this means?!

Spoiler

PETS!

[close]

EDIT: And this...

*Zree rebelliouz zpeckz o' duzt zneak in quietly*

*The specks of dust are consumed by the relentless cleaner.*

That's what you named your roomba?  Mine's just named George.

[Ebantu the Kararehe]

*Comes over and barges in* I'm hoooOOooome!

... Daddy!

O.O

*infant Teer runs up to Seb and flings her arms around his legs*

I mithed you.

This is creepy. O.O *Holds up the chook* Who are you?

*claps paws and giggles* Not telling!

You, uh... you have many dads.

*infant Teer runs up to Seb and flings her arms around his legs*

I mithed you.

I wondered how long it would take before Teer became an infant, to be honest.

Ach... *Quietly floatz in ze air*

[Russa Nodrey]

*Anti-cuddles*

*hugs*

*The ants hug Bookie*

Umm.. how big are the ants, exactly?

Spoiler

[close]

Except there are a million or so ants. I added the labels so you don't get mixed up.