If you hate puns, don't read this.... or you will die.

[Dannflower Reguba]

       One of my sisters sent me an E-mail, here are the contents of said E-mail.

·    I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.

·    When chemists die, they barium.

·    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

·    A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is  now a seasoned veteran.

·    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.

·    How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.

·    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

·    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,   but I'd never met herbivore.

·    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.

·    I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

·    They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

·    I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

·    A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

·    When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

·    What does a clock do when it's hungry?  It goes back four seconds..

·    I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

·    Broken pencils are pointless.

·    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

·    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ..

·    I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

·    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

·    All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

·    I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

·    Velcro - what a rip off!

·    Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.

[Hickory]

*facepalms for ten hours*

[Tiria_Wildlough]

I just read these all to my parents. That totally made us so happy!!!!!!

[The Skarzs]

You have made my brother laugh. GG.

[Morgazath]

 My dad loved the toilets being stolen one.

[Dannflower Reguba]

       They were so good I had to share them.  Glad everyone's enjoying them.... well, SOME of you are enjoying them.

[Skyblade]

Dude, I love these Seriously, thanks you for posting them. One can get a kick out of word play.

[Dannflower Reguba]

       You're welcome Skye.  It would've been selfish of me to keep them to myself.

[Morgazath]

 I saw almost every single one on facebook.

[Skyblade]

Some people from my school are doing a fun history project, and they posted this pun (I hope it's not offensive in any way; I'm not insinuating anything):

Hitler: Sorry that Germany's losing the war, I did NAZI that coming.

[The Skarzs]

^ Nice.

What do you call a fish with two knees?

[Skyblade]

Spill! Spill!

So, I did an egg hunt last year because some of the eggs contained slips for egg-xtra credit. It was egg-citing, but sadly I did not find any egg-xtra credit. Overall, though, it was an egg-cellent experience. I even got some puns out of it, but they're not as good as Dan's. He's the eggs-pert

[Eulaliaaa!]

Hahahahahaha!!!  these are hilarious!

[Maudie]

 

[The Skarzs]

So, I did an egg hunt last year because some of the eggs contained slips for egg-xtra credit. It was egg-citing, but sadly I did not find any egg-xtra credit. Overall, though, it was an egg-cellent experience. I even got some puns out of it, but they're not as good as Dan's. He's the eggs-pert

Ha ha, no. ( )

Spill! Spill!

A little later.