Overlord's Orders! XIII,

[James Gryphon]

OOC: I got really confused by the progression of events here, and had a bit of writer's block besides, but I'm giving it a shot now.

Gryph, a dark-haired, dark-clad, grim-looking man, listened stone-faced and played with his knife as the others claimed innocence. When Sage was done, he stretched, yawned, adjusted his black hat, and started to speak, in his dry Southern accent.

"It seems awful convenient that all these fellas were knocked out or asleep when the trouble started. Some folks back East might get by with makin' excuses for everything, but out here that'll only work so far."

"I'm not too sure about some of what happened before, but I can clear up how the bar fight went, boss. After all of the rest of this racket, me an' -- well, I thought it was everybody, I didn't count heads 'cuz I figured they knew what was going on -- the rest of us went over to the saloon to get something to eat and drink. Delthion was in there, singin' about "Home on the Range". He's no great singer, and he was getting noticed. After a few minutes of his noise (he sounded like a calf in a hailstorm), some guy in a mask finally walked up, grabbed Delthy by the collar, and said, "Shut yer mouth or I'll shut it for ya". Well, Delthy says, "If anything you should pay me for the great job I di --". He was cut off when the guy punched him, so hard that it knocked him out. Izzy, who had recovered from being knocked out earlier, and Sage jumped in and ganged up on the guy. One of the man's friends tried to pull a gun. I didn't figure you'd want any of the boys gettin' whacked their first day, so I cut up his hand with my Bowie. His pal went for a gun, and I shot him. After that it was a blur. When the smoke cleared it was just us; the other men had cleared out. Tender, waitress and piano man too. I left the pay for our meal an' a little extry for the mess on the counter."

[Lady Ashenwyte]

OOC: What's happening?  

[LT Sandpaw]

OOC: Okay everyone I am so completely confused by what's going on as is everyone else. I do believe I'm going to have to come to a decision seeing it's been nearly a week. As overlord I would prefer if you called Spattereye Boss or sir or just Spattereye and not lordship or mightiness or anything like that, thx.

[LT Sandpaw]

As Spattereye listened he slowly slumped forward, already exhausted by the long night's events the long nearly impossible to understand narrative. As the arguing continued he noticed one of them stayed quiet, neither speaking nor even glancing around much.

Spattereye finally snapped, flinging aside his chair he lifted his revolver firing two rounds into the roof silencing further argument.

"What in the name of rot an plunder are ya'll even yappen about. I have half a mind to end the lot of ya right here, right now. But I don't wanna waste expensive lead on Ya'll's worthless... well ya get the image I'm sure." He sat back down glaring daggers at the miscreants.

"Now ya might know I only expect the best from my men and the best get the best if ya catch my drift. Now I do the same for the worst, reaching forward he grabbed Winniefred shirt front pulling him close.

"Ya think your special, huh? Ya think it's below you to say anything of any worth? Well I don't think so. Well see how cleaning the cattle pastures in chains." Throwing his victim to the floor Spattereye stomped around the table, snatching up the lackey's leg he dragged him strongly to the door. Throwing him onto the dark dusty road.

"Take his worthless carcasses pastures an give him a shovel, if it doesn't work hard enough don't spare the rod!" The angry crowd happy to oblige, carried off the screaming and pleading Winniefred to his unending fate of hard labor.

Stomping back inside Spattereye collapsed into his chair closing his eyes and rubbing his temples.

"Out! The lot of ya an don't come back till tomorrow morning, out!"


The next afternoon


Once again the group sat around the table, nervously fidgeting and squirming in their seats. Spattereye was standing his back to them, studying a map of the surrounding land.
"I have gotten word that one o' my little outlining farms has taken up arms against me. As ya might know this is unacceptable on so many fronts. Now what I want ya'll to do is normal and basic, ya go in rough up some people an take double of what their suppose to give an ya leave.
I going to have ya'll lead because ya have had some schooling up north and should be a little more contempt, hopefully.
Try to keep the bloodshed to a minimum cuz we need that farm. I'll supply you with say, eighty men an eighty five horses, that should be more then enough.

Keep ya'll wits about ya, might run into some nasty surprises. I'll see Ya'll back here for the report."


Eighteen and a half days later



"Well ya'll certainly surprised me, survivors of Ya'll's men told me you did a little more then roughed up the place, Ya flippin attack the town! And to make matters worse ya didn't even win, an when I heard that their was only seven hired guns defending the place I couldn't wait to hear more.

So lets hear it, how on this earth did ya manage to lose forty six o' my men an practically all the horses, then pushed out of the town an scattered everywhere by seven men? I can't wait to hear this one."

[Hickory]

Uh, uh, Boss, well, several potholes took down many of your men, and the seven hired guns were Mississippi Stanglers an' we didn't stand a chance. Ash set off a dormant mine, and it hit the saloon alchohol storage and the bar went sky high. Del had firedd off a few shots and startled the horses, who ran off. A landslide started and the down was destroyed, I think I saw Sam up at the top of the mountain and playing the drums. Then some Rangers came in an' arrested Izeroth. That's all I can tell ye'.

[Delthion]

Sir, I was simply following orders, when I saw 30 men fall of their horses and fall to the ground, I thought it was some kind of ploy to get out of the fight, the other sixteen were killed by the red ants that the hired guns had raised. They were bitten to death and I was attempting to hold my section of the line, which was now completely empty except for me, I fired a few shots and killed one of the gunmen, but just then the tailor came again and jumped next to me and shouted; "Boo!" I was startled out of my wits and convulsed and therefore fired, unfortunately it hit the ropes tethering the horses to the little thing, I don't know what they're called. Then I resumed the gunfight and Soren came over to help me, we killed another but then Sagetip gave the order to retreat, I followed orders immediately and Soren did the same.

[Søren]

Sir, that is true.  I had taken a position by the saloon when we staged our initial assault, which, by the way, was Izeroth's idea. When the mine blew, I held been blown from the saloon into the livery across the way. When I got up, there was all sorts of comotion. I saw Del and ran to him, seeing as he was all alone. We were under fire, and Sage told us to retreat. So we did. I have no idea what happened to our "Supreme Commander", as he referee to himself, Izeroth.

[Hickory]

Er, Boss, I only gave the order to retreat becasue I knew that the fire ant would get us otherwise. I tred to find some water to drown them, but the mine had detroyed the underground water storage. I think Izeroth has an explaination for why he was arrested.

[Izeroth]

 I'll have you know that I was educated at a military academy! Naturally, I being the most skilled at strategy, I decided to plan the attack. Unfortunately, two dozen men deserted because "they didn't like a Yank telling them what to do." I might add that Soren tried to egg them on, although I don't think any of them even heard him.

Even with reduced numbers, I decided to launch the attack. It went pretty well at first, but we soon lost half our men to tripwires that Ashenwyte layed and holes that James Gryphon dug. I have no idea why they did it; perhaps they can explain.

Anyway, the attack might still have worked, but I suddenly got cornered and "arrested" by two drunken Texas rangers. They both missed me and shot each other, but I got knocked out by a falling horse.

When I awoke, the tattered remains of our force were fleeing the field, and the fire ants were crawling over everything.

[Søren]

Actually, sir, I was trying to egg them on. Literally, I had to cook breakfast because none of this dummy's knew how. So I had eggs and bacon, and was offering it to the ones who deserted. I was in no way trying to encourage them to do something, or desert. And we all know: Never fight a battle on an empty stomach.

[winifred]

"Now ya might know I only expect the best from my men and the best get the best if ya catch my drift. Now I do the same for the worst, reaching forward he grabbed Winniefred shirt front pulling him close.

"Ya think your special, huh? Ya think it's below you to say anything of any worth? Well I don't think so. Well see how cleaning the cattle pastures in chains." Throwing his victim to the floor Spattereye stomped around the table, snatching up the lackey's leg he dragged him strongly to the door. Throwing him onto the dark dusty road.

"Take his worthless carcasses pastures an give him a shovel, if it doesn't work hard enough don't spare the rod!" The angry crowd happy to oblige, carried off the screaming and pleading Winniefred to his unending fate of hard labor.

OOC: Really sorry, I was out of town and didn't have internet access.
I'll just read along

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Sire, the reason we failed to take the town is this. Me and James Gryphon are skilled tacticians and so when we found out the town had seven elite rangers, we figured out that we would siege them out with minimum casualties. However, Izeroth stumbled in, ruined our planning boards, and forced us to dig potholes and lay tripwires. Along the way, a piece of bacon flew out and hit a mine and as I was about to try to remove the mine, the mine exploded. That is all, Sire.

[James Gryphon]

Finally. Sorry for the delay.

"Izzy had us camp a ways outside the town the night before the attack that took place. Me an' Ash were up at watch, when Izzy got up from his bunk and started giving orders. He seemed a mite out of it; I think he mighta been sleepwalking. But the gun he had wasn't no joke, and so when he threatened to have us shot for insubordination, I figgered it was best to mind. He said we needed a defensive position to protect us against the oncoming army, hence the potholes and tripwires. Actually, Iz said to dig a trench; I only went through the motions of digging, and dug a few holes, to keep him satisfied. I intended to tell the boys about it in the morning, but as soon as Izzy woke up, he said "Welp, time to attack!" and started screaming at the top of his lungs. Anything I said was drowned out by the noise he was making, and encouraging others to make."

"Even at that, though, we still mighta done something if it weren't for the plan. Izzy told the boys to ride right into town, tie the horses up, and then dismount and start fighting. We rode right into oncoming fire. Izzy yelled not to shoot back, as that would be unsporting, so many against so few. We had to tie up our horses and dismount to fight them foot to foot "to make it fair". He even shot at three of our men who tried to shoot back. I don't know what notion he got in his head to make him do that. Delthy already mentioned that his shot went stray, and that caused the horses that we had tied up to run off. In between the incoming gunfire from the Stanglers and Izzy himself, it was a pretty sorry fight. Izzy had shot my gun when I tried to draw, so I didn't have a choice but to stay under cover."

"One more thing, boss, about the ants. Soren made bacon and eggs, all right, but he also served up a big batch of pancakes, with real Wisconsin maple syrup. That woulda been okay, I guess, except that we didn't bring spoons or forks or any o' that. The syrup dripped all over everything. The ants had been stirred up by the guns, all right, but I don't know if they wouldn't have gone after us 'less they smelled something."

[LT Sandpaw]

As the last of the arguing died down Spattereye slowly clapped, his eyes narrowed and his faced turned bright red.
"What... That has to be the worst defeat I have ever heard of in... Well ever. I was beginning to wonder if ya'll were even worth the effort, it would be very easy to end this now." He fondled his revolver considering using, finally he placed it into its holster and stood pacing.

"I don't have luxury o' being able to deal with ya'll and since I'm down over forty men consider yourself lucky, but as for you." He stopped, pointing accusingly at Sam. "I hear ya did nothing, not even helping this bunch o' morons. I can't say I blame ya but every man must take his part, or so I've heard." With one quick motion Spattereye kicked over Sam's chair and dragged him to the wall. With a sudden jerk he tossed the unfortunate into one of the open cells slamming the cell door shut and locking it.

"Ya can stay in there an we'll see how long you live without food nor water." He roared. Turning his back on the pleading Sam he refocused on the cringing bandits.

"I've had just about enough so here's the deal. There's a man running around one of my towns claiming he will end my life, now we can't have this. Your task is simple, ya go to the town quietly ya finish him with a few rounds in the back, then you leave quiet like. Ya''ll got it, or should I explain in buffoon langue. Ya horses are waiting an I expect you back in ten days."

Fourteen days later.


"Ya'll are more useless then a pack o' empty whisky bottles, ya know what you can do with empty whisky bottles? Ya can throw them at useless swine like you!" Spattereye shouted throwing his hands in the air he leaned against the wall. Sam was gone and the room had a nasty smell to it.

"What is this I'm hearing about getting captured by one man the very one I sent ya to kill. Or Ya'll's escape attempt that burned down my town, The entire town! Or maybe the fact that ya were unable to kill the man an I had to do it myself last night?
Or maybe ya'll would like to explain why yer four days late? I'm surprised ya came crawling back. An on top o' all that ya'll started a war with the engines, the ones I worked so hard to make a pact with. Why would you even be at their camp, an why would you have the gall to insult their chief? Even I wouldn't call him Chief Big Head. Explain, an this better be good!"

[James Gryphon]

"We pulled into town about 'leven o'clock. The first thing Izzy did, after we tied our horses, was walk out in the center of the street, shoot six rounds into the air, and bellow "THERE'S A MAN WANTING TO GET THE BOSS. BRING HIM OUT OR I'LL HAVE YOUR HEADS." That gets some attention. So a fella comes out of the jail and says "I know just where that dirty scoundrel is, and I can take ya to him." Izzy agrees, and walks off with the man. We didn't see him again for a while. Anyway, after that Delthy gets bored, and says "Let's go to the saloon". I'm a little concerned over the Izzy thing, but figure that your hands need taking care of, so I go with them. Delthion sips down some water, and then starts babbling all about our mission here. The tender keeps noddin', sayin' "that's nice" to everything. Then, the fella that Izzy went with comes in and says, "A round of drinks for the visitors! Give 'em your most special drink, barkeep." Delthy, Soren and the rest happily drink it without asking any questions. Well, a few moments and they're actin' funny. I'm about to pull my gun, when someone hits me from behind. When I came to, we were all in a jail cell with Izzy."

"We're there for a bit, when the same guy who bought us our drinks comes in, laughing, and asks if we want anything to go with it. The rest want more drinks like the ones they had, but I ask for a smoke. He obliges and I light up the pipe. Now, this wasn't to smoke tobacco -- I hate the stuff -- but 'cuz I had a plan. As soon as the fellow leaves, I set the wooden hinges, which are real thin, on fire. I figure that they'll burn and the door will fall in, then we put it out with the bucket of water that we were left and get out. Well, it works, but when I tell Ash to douse it, he douses it with alcy-hol. The jail lights up in a second, and before we know it the whole town's ablaze."

"We just get our horses and get out, but we got no supplies, no weapons, and it's too far a trip to make it back without any of that. Sage says he knows some good Injuns that owe him, and would get us enough food to get home, and guns to do the job. So we go there, they feed us, and everything's fine, 'cept Delthy started runnin' off at the mouth, mocking them, thinkin' they don't understand what he's sayin'. Well, they did. He shouldn't had called them a bunch of yellow-bellied dog-lickin' cowards, but he did, and once he'd said that about them and the comment about their chief it was all we could do just to get away from them, much less track down the other feller and take care of him. No comprendo why Delthy said all that, boss, except maybe Soren put him up to it. Not sure what that was about. You'll hafta ask them."