Redwall Conference

[White One6193]

Urthwyte, deciding to 'break the ice' for the newcomer, and suggests that "A warrior's knowledge of his weapon comes from familiarity wi' it, methinks... So, as such, Ah ken that Matthias learned 'em, bein' destined, arter all, tae be Martin's successor! He'd o' had at least a week tae practice such skills on t' road back tae Redwall, not tae mention he might o' had some instruction from t'Gousim. Martin, howe'er, prob'ly gave the young 'un a wee nudge, ah ken.

[Mad Maudie]

Maudie white one you are a mean beast i stubbed my toe really hard

[Nightfire]

Halig popped out from behind the curtain and said cheerfully, "Hi guys! Want some mushrooms? Or should we have them after we debate another topic? You know what they say, food gives your mind energy. . ." She looked around and noticed that everyone in the room was staring at her, dead silent. She cleared her throat. "Um. Okay. Well, I have a question. How do you think Matthias learned all his cool swordfighting skills? Did he get them from Martin, or did he have to learn them all by himself?"

She grabbed a chair and sat down next to Nightfire.

Nightfire gives Georgie a friendly slap on the back, shaking her paw. "He was prob'ly influenced by Martin at the time when he was fightin' Cluny, then honed his skills gradually from that point for'ard."

[White One6193]

Maudie white one you are a mean beast i stubbed my toe really hard

White One, now looking rather ashamed, answers Maudie, saying "Ah'm truly sorry, Maudie... Ah see yer point about t'Bloodwrath. Put it in th'past, aye?" Urthwyte extends a massive forepaw to be shaken.

[Nightfire]

Nightfire chuckles darkly. "Don't shake 'is paw, Maudie, otherwise you will ne'er regain use o' that paw e'er again. Next question! How many pompous vermin warlords does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

[Redwall Musician]

"As many as it takes to spell my name: Ahmohitlilibanerjennafurry," Musician said.

[Nightfire]

"Wrong! The answer is ONE! He holds the lightbulb in, and waits for the world to revolve around him."

[Redwall Musician]

"And no one cares that I have a long name," Musician muttered under her breath. "Can rats do math?" she asked a little louder.

[Nightfire]

"Of course!" Nightfire beckons to the backstage, and Cluny the Scourge and Alenra walk out. "Alenra, what is 999,999 x 5?"
The female rat looked thoughtful. "Why, I reckon that it's the number 4,999,995." Nightfire smiles. "There you have it! A correct answer!" She turns to Cluny. "Cluny, what is 2x2?"
He gnaws on a pawnail, looking irked. "'Ow should I know? I'm a scholar, not a scientist!" Nightfire laughs, kicking him off the stage. "There you have it! Some rats are intelligent, and can do math, while others are as dumb as a box of rocks!"

-applause ensues-

[DanielofRedwall]

"What's a lightbulb?" asked Skarlath, as lightbulbs don't exist in Redwall.

[Nightfire]

"A bright object," Nightfire says, facepalming.

[White One6193]

"By t'fur and claw!" Urthwyte mutters under his breath, "A dumb fox! Now Ah've seen't all!!" Urthwyte goes over to the Redwall Musician, asking quietly, ''Now what do ye think of that Abouti-er,abberjenywhatsit? By t'way what's yer name agin?"

[Nightfire]

"Just call 'er Musician. everyone else does," Nightfire says, smirking. "Next question! Should Slagar the Cruel have lived?"

[White One6193]

"Erm, sorry t'the Slagar fans out there, but, ahem, NO!!!"

[Redwall Musician]

Musician whispers to Urthwyte, "My names is Ahmohitlilibanerjennafurry, wot!"