Overlord's Orders XVI

[Skyblade]

"Amber makes it seem like the clothing designs she and Jukka came up with were good and viable, but they actually weren't. You see, Amber suggested that we make pillow cases with holes cut in them and sell them for $48 apiece. I tried to tell them her that seemed like a bad idea, but she replied, "Of course it's a bad idea! That's why I want to do it!" I turned to Jukka for sense, but she agreed and said, "I'll do anything to make sure our mission fails. Let's go along with Amber's sure-to-fail plot."

When I protested and made more sensible suggestions, they tied me up. When Amber said I was being helpful, she must have meant I was being helpful to make the mission succeed (making the pillowcases for our clothing design would inevitably result in failure). I finally broke free when they were almost done. "This won't work," I said. I knew they were going to use that for the clothing design if I didn't do something, so I flushed the poorly made pillowcase things they had made down the toilet saying, "These things are so terrible, I don't even want to look at them." (It was true though)

"Sky, you're always so honest," said Jukka. "Can I hear you say something that's NOT true for once?"

I rolled my eyes and decided to indulge her. "In fact, I don't want to take part in this stupid project, no matter want the Overlady says. There. That was a lie."

Anyway, I made a really good design for suits and dresses. I put it on a billboard, and got 100% positive feedback from the general public. However, Søren snuck in and destroyed all my clothes somehow. And Izeroth destroyed the billboard.

Meanwhile, Amber made those weird pillowcases again, which didn't sell well at all. It's true that Amber didn't know about the garbage bags, but she totally knew about the pillowcases.

And Jukka made the garbage bag things. I don't know why."

[Søren]

Madam, the incident with me destroying the clothes that Sky had made was for the greater good. While they were excellent suits and dresses, they were for some reason made for sea loins. I have no idea why, but she designed the clothes with the marine mammals in mind rather then humans. Her 100% positive feedback was the 100% thumbs up on that YouTube video she posted with the sea lion wearing a suit, strutting about trying to eat poor, innocent penguins. You've never seen a three-piece suit so bloody. YouTubers are heartless, aren't they?

Anyway, I had to destroy these clothes, or else the human population would turn against our upcoming clothing line.

As for the factory:
I went straight to the Unemployment Office after we were deployed in this mission to let them know we were accepting job applications. (You must be present to do this, there are papers to sign.) Izeroth said he'd go to the factory and "Get the machines warmed up.) Next thing I knew, there was an explosion at the factory. I was still at the unemployment agency when I called Amber and gave her the news. Now, we have 3,330 workers ready to pump out some garbage bags with holes, except no factory for them to work at.

[Izeroth]

 "I had intended on warming up the factory machines, (as they tend to shut down when cold) but the facility was already a ruin by the time I arrived. The strange grin I had on my face was the result of damage to my facial nerve tissues, sustained while helping half-dead workers out of the smoldering ruins of our factory. (Strangely, Soren never came to aid the injured personnel, despite his position as leader of the disaster response team.) You would think, given my disheveled and clearly traumatized state, that the others would have been sensible enough to realize I was injured."

"As for my destruction of Sky's sign, it is true that the sign contained useful advertising material. Next to the suit and dress designs (which, admittedly, were not my taste), however, was written an advertisement for my assassination. According to the advertisement, which was written in large red letters, any bounty hunter who could successfully complete the contract (which specified that I was to be dismembered and/or cremated)  would receive $1000, as well as "great street cred". Obviously, I destroyed the sign so aspiring assassins wouldn't get any ideas."

[Søren]

I was leader of the response team, after I had called Amber. But we couldn't get within 500-yards of the explosion because of the police and Homeland security who were blocking the wa. They said it was dangerous, and illegal. We protested, and tried to get through anyway, but they arrested us for trying to save the lives of those poor people. But that was me and the response team, I don't know about the others on the mission. I had been stuck in jail (and no one posted my $50 bail) for nearly a week. By that time, every survivor had been freed from the rubble. I then heard of Sky's weird sea lion clothing line as I was leaving the prison. I headed straight over, saved us from a PR nightmare (the factory is bad enough), and came straight here.

[Skyblade]

"I did design the clothes with sea loins in mind. "Sea loin" means teenager in Korean (OOC: Not IRL). I guess Søren has been learning Korean, good for him. Anyway, we all know teenagers are marine mammals (they love to swim), but too strange to be considered actual humans.

I asked Søren to help me make a video to help advertise the clothing, since he's good at making videos and was loitering around doing nothing at the time. "Please make it formal and professional. And make sure you have teenagers wearing the clothes," I told him. Well, instead he made a bloody video about SEA LIONS. I was speaking clear English to him! My clothing was so good, though, that I got 100% positive feedback anyway even though the video was horrendous.

Woah! I didn't know there was an advertisement for Izeroth's assassination. But actually, that would make perfect sense: Jukka and Amber have been talking about wanting to get Izeroth killed, and they were carrying red paint and mentioned something about getting a $1,000 reward and street cred. I thought they were joking, but it must have been them. I had nothing to do with it; all I did was put up the billboard for my clothing.

Anyway, Izeroth is still to blame for razing my billboard. Why did he have to destroy the entire billboard? The assassination thing was only on one section. He could've just gotten rid of that part and left my billboard so we could complete the mission."

[Søren]

Sky had been helping me learn Korean. She told me that she was going to say everything that I had learned in Korean in normal speech mixed in with English, and vice versa. I thought she meant sea lions, the marine mammal, not human teens. I guess that part was lost in translation, madam.

[Lady Amber]

The reason I said I wanted us to fail the mission by making holes in pillowcases, was because Soren was making a funny skit but couldn't be there to do it, so he set up some cameras so we could do it while he was gone. Soren thought that we could film it while making the actual clothing designs that we were planning to use. Skye had memorized her lines and everything, and we all knew what we were supposed to do, but for some reason she flushed them down the toilet. They were just props, but she failed to mention that she flushed the REAL DESIGNS that we were actually going to use down the toilet, as well. "I hate these things in real life, too, and I mean the actual designs that you guys are planning to sell. And guess what? Absolutely no one told me to do this, or told me to lie, or wrote me a note, or anything." Exactly want she said.

Jukka and I were carrying red paint because we were planning to paint an area of the place where we did our designing. We knew your favorite color was red, oh Overlady, so that's why we chose that color in particular, in honor of you. Also, we weren't talking about wanting to get Izeroth killed in real life, we were talking about how we wanted him to get killed in the latest movie he was in. He played the main villain; Jukka and I had gotten a copy of the movie from Izeroth himself, and we hadn't finished it yet, so we were simply saying how we wanted THE CHARACTER he played to get killed. Jukka and I were joking around, saying that we would get a $1,000 reward from you, Overlady, because of the red-painted room, as well as street cred from the surrounding populace, who totally loves you.

[Søren]

The skit was part of our advertising campaign, madam Overlady.

[Izeroth]

 "The "movie" was a documentary about the effects of excess chemical runoff on stream ecosystems. Considering the fact that the only "evil acts" I committed were providing intelligent narration and clever use of metaphors, I have no idea how anyone could have supposed me to be a malicious villain. As the saying goes, I guess, some people are offended by anything and everything."

[Jukka the Sling]

As the others have said, at Soren's suggestion we performed a skit that was part of our advertising campaign.  The skit was an entry for a YouTube challenge that would give the winner $250,000 - and the only requirements were that we do some random and unexpected things along with the things laid out in the script.  (It seems that Skye was unaware of the "random and unexpected things" bit.  And if I'm wrong, and she meant to be random and unexpected by flushing our REAL designs down the toilet, that was totally over the line.)

If we won the YouTube contest (which we were almost sure to do, because our idea was just so unique), we'd have an extra $250,000 to invest in our clothing line and free advertising on YouTube to boot.  Tying Skye to a chair was all part of the hilariousness and uniqueness of the skit.  Everything else that I said was part of the skit script.

Everything else Amber said about me is true.  Including the fact that Izeroth held me at gunpoint and stole a bunch of finished clothes before I could present them to the store headquarters for review.

I need to inform you that Skye is absolutely correct about Izeroth razing the billboard to the ground even though only one part had an ad for his assassination and he could've just removed that.  (I had nothing whatsoever to do with the ad for his assassination, by the way.)

As for the fact that Izeroth was simply the narrator for a documentary, well, he was actually one of TWO narrators for the documentary.  In the style of many old-time book writers, the documentary used two different people arguing a point.  Izeroth played the guy who was arrogant and didn't care about the excess chemical runoff on stream ecosystems.  (Also, it was hinted that he (the character) might have drowned his pet gerbil in chemical waste.)  Who wouldn't like the character?  While our jokes may have been in poor taste, rest assured that we meant nothing to Izeroth by it.  He played the part of the unlikable guy very well.

Also, after the sad affair of the razed billboard, I endeavored to build another myself.  However, Soren dumped arsenic-laden paint all over the only wood we had.  (As well as being unsafe, it's against the Highway Billboard Code to use arsenic paint on billboards.) I told him to make up for his mean-spirited action by buying more wood and assisting me in making a billboard, but he refused.  I was forced to buy the wood and make it myself, but the delay cost me valuable time.

[Skyblade]

Skyblade facedesked. "Why practice the skit during a mission? Here, check this out. The entries aren't due until six months from today. I don't see why they had to practice during a mission we all knew was very important. Even though the skit was important, they were fully capable of waiting as we had nothing to do after the mission. They should have focused on the mission so we could succeed, not concentrated on that.

In addition, Jukka and Amber had good intentions with painting your room red; I'll acknowledge that. But why did they do that during a mission? Again, it's better to focus on the mission first, then do everything else.

Anyway, I flushed the props down the toilet because Amber and Jukka were done using them anyway, and they told me to discard them. I was following their directions.

They were just props, but she failed to mention that she flushed the REAL DESIGNS that we were actually going to use down the toilet, as well. "I hate these things in real life, too, and I mean the actual designs that you guys are planning to sell. And guess what? Absolutely no one told me to do this, or told me to lie, or wrote me a note, or anything." Exactly want she said.

The real designs were even worse and I had reason to hate them. They were bombs that were set to kill whoever wore them. And they only kill completely innocent people. I saved people's lives with my action.

Oh, and regarding things being lost in translation. Soren insisted that I speak in a mixture of Korean and English. He said it helped me him learn better."

OOC: I feel like I might be flooding the round. I'll try to make this my last defense.

EDIT: Edited the post to reflect that I knew about the skit.

[Izeroth]

 "I 'threatened' Jukka with a harmless plastic pistol. Jukka was quite aware of the fact that the pistol was fake, and at one point even instructed me to hold it in a more realistic-looking way. As for the stolen clothes, Jukka had ordered me to take them as part of an 'advertising skit'. (I had, of course, initially refused to carry out this 'skit', but Jukka had threatened to ruin my reputation if I did not comply.) Clearly, I cannot be blamed for whatever ridiculous scheme she had in mind."

"It's true that in the documentary I played a... less than morally perfect character. Jukka might have mentioned, however, that I also played the part of the good guy (and, in my opinion, did it quite well). Moreover, the name my 'comrades' put on the sign wasn't even the evil character's name; the sign used my real name: Izeroth."

"As for the whole 'destroying the whole sign as opposed to destroying part of it' fiasco, I have a perfectly good justification for what occurred. Besides the fact that the sign would have looked terrible after I removed part of it, I might add that someone had rigged the entire advertisement with explosives that would self-destruct the sign should someone remove part of it. Unfortunately, this fact was only made known to me after I had removed part of the sign."

[Lady Amber]

OOC:

@Skye: I already said that you had memorized your lines and that we all knew about the skit.

@Iz: Jukka already said that she had nothing to do with the billboard for your assassination.

BIC:
I did not know that we had six months to do the skit. Soren made it sound like we didn't have a lot of time at all by saying these exact words. "Guys, we only have a few weeks to do the ad for the Youtube challenge, and I'm talking about the actual ad for our advertising campaign, not any other one, just to let you know." I thought that was why we had to film it during the mission.

The reason me and Jukka painted the room red when we were supposed to be working on the designs, was because the color red, (as well as other cheery and bright colors), is proven to help give a cheery and fun atmosphere over whichever room the color is in. We thought we could honor you in this way, as well as make it a fun place to work in.

Anyway, Jukka and I knew absolutely nothing about the bombs until we were here, when Soren decided to tell us that the crystals which we had put on the clothes were actually tiny bombs, in fully-working condition, and able to kill the person wearing the clothes, as well as injuring people standing near the person with the bomb clothes. He also said that he himself had constructed the crystals in this way. After he had told us all this, he said, "I'm not lying, by the way. Also, no one told me to do this, or forced me to do this, or wrote me a note telling me to do this, or wrote me a note forcing me to do this, or anything like that at all." Exact quote.

Meanwhile, Amber made those weird pillowcases again, which didn't sell well at all.

OOC: I don't think I ever addressed this, so I will now.

BIC: The reason the pillowcases never sold, was because I never tried to sell them at all, or give them to a store to sell. I made them because they were for a play my nephews and nieces were in, in which they were peasants, so they had to wear old sacks as clothes.

[Izeroth]

OOC: Sorry; I edited it.

[Søren]

First of all, about that billboard. I posted that paint on it because it's against the Highway Billboard Code regulations to use a wooden billboard (they're all steel nowadays). Jukka was insisting on breaking the law, and incurring a nasty lawsuit by the city, no doubt. So I poured the paint on her wood before she could break the regulations. Yet she made it anyway, so I wouldn't be surprised if we're all served because of Jukka.

Also, regarding the skit. I was under the impression that we were on a short timetable. Jukka had mentioned how we should "hurry with it because it's really only a few weeks away". I don't know what she meant by that if it was really not due anytime soon.

And, about the bombs. Although I hadn't been told to construct the bombs, I did it because Izeroth implied that he would kill everyone with his "Shotgun that shoots real bullets. I've killed many squirrel and ocelots with it." (Exact quote) he implied to me that if I didn't construct these crystals "exactly in a certain explosively deadly way" he'd "deal with the team members, by using my shotgun" (Exact quotes)
So I made the bombs, and Izeroth snatched them before I could disarm them. So I went to Jukka and Amber to tell them what had happened, and how, although I made the bombs, I didn't plant them. I just wanted to save everyone, and the mission, from Izeroth's murderous rage.