Overlord's Orders XVI

[Jukka the Sling]

Oh, Overlady, I was unaware that the Coast Guard was the Coast Guard.  The insignia they had on their boat was strange and looked nothing like any official Coast Guard insignia I've ever seen.  Therefore, because a few of them had eyepatches and were wearing camo, I came to the conclusion that they were dangerous smugglers.  When I heard Sage yell for help and saw him firing at them, I grabbed a gun Sage had on the beach next to him and shot them all.

[Lady Amber]

Oh most glorious Overlady, it was not my fault that the bunnies drowned. I had read online that the particular kind of bunnies we had with us love water. The article that I had read was written by James, who is "supposed" to be a very truthful person, who also said that the facts in the article were "scientifically proven." I had also heard that the Walmarta Tribe loves reenactments of anything, so I thought that if we did a reenactment it would make them more friendly towards us. As you can see, I was just trying to kill three birds with one stone, as the saying goes. I wanted to get an 'A' on my 'Director of Performing Arts' class, make the bunnies happy (because they had been in the cages for a while), and make the Walmarta Tribe more friendly towards us. I had even given the bunnies life jackets to insure their survival.
Now that I think about it, I did hear Izeroth say to himself, "Little do they know that I put holes in the life jackets, and that all the bunnies will die! Mwuahahahahaha!" Those were his very words.

The exchange between Soren and Del was also part of the reenactment, because it was a reenactment of the Battle for Linguino, which makes up a large part of the island's history. My conclusion is that I am not to blame for the death of the bunnies.

[Izeroth]

 "Lady Amber has heavily misinterpreted my words. I'm performing in a play, you see, to help raise money for a charity. One scene, coincidentally, happens to be about drowning rabbits and sabotaged life-jackets. I was reciting a line to myself so I'd remember it. I don't suppose any of my comrades care very much about charities, though: they're too busy accusing me of crimes I'm not responsible for."

[Mhera]

"Enough! I've heard all I need to know that you lot could set the world record for incompetence. As much as I want to be rid of you all, I will unfortunately need you to correct the mistakes you've made, so not all will be punished. One, however, demonstrated a special kind of ineptitude that really can't overlooked.

Delthion, please step forward."

The servant took two strides before the Overlady took out a remote and flipped a switch. A gaping hole opened up beneath Delthion, swallowing him immediately.

The Overlady observed the hole for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. Then she flipped the switch again, watching as the sandy ground merged together over the blackness. "He has fallen into the Bottemless Pit of Despair From Which No One Can Be Rescued. Unless you want to meet a similar fate, I suggest you listen to my next instructions very carefully and not fail in following them.

Judging by the recent MeTube posts the Walmarta people have posted, they are gearing up to wage a full blown war against me. I would really rather avoid that, and think a show of power backed up by appropriate weaponry would do the trick. Over there-" the Overlady pointed inland "-lies my private airport. You are to take one of my airplanes to Little Rock Air Force Base in Arkansas and negotiate with the government to legally obtain a C-5 Galaxy containing a large hovercraft and various weaponry (it doesn't really matter what kinds, just whatever extra the government has lying around will work) and fly it back here. Hopefully that should be enough to deter the natives from following through with their battle plans."

One week later...

"Congratulations! You managed to deliver the hovercraft unharmed! I must admit, though, that I'm a little curious about why the government is after my head for stealing a C-5, why that particular C-5 is filled with signs of a cockpit silly string fight, and why, besides the hovercraft, you loaded it with teddy bears instead of weapons. Oh, and I'd also like to know how the Walmarta obtained the private plane I sent you to Arkansas in that they are now taking such pleasure in flying overhead. Explain, minions."

OOC: For reference, this is a C-5:

Spoiler

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[Izeroth]

 "When we arrived at the airport, the commander came out to meet us. He said he was a longtime friend of the overlady, and would let us have a C-5. The commander even agreed to bring the C-5 out front so we could fly it away."

"So, they brought out the plane as promised, and we were in the process of loading it for takeoff. Suddenly, James Gryphon walked up the the commander, punched him in the face, and said 'got your nose!' Despite my best efforts to maintain order, diplomacy rapidly deteriorated, and we had to evacuate the area ahead of schedule."

"Once we were in the air, Skyblade thought it a good time to inform me that, along with the hovercraft, she had filled the plane's cargo bay with teddy bears. Her justification for doing so was, 'because they're just so cuddly!' Meanwhile, Jukka and Norham had started a silly-string fight in the cockpit, and chaos reigned surpreme."

"Once the cockpit was finally under control, I looked out the window and saw that the Walmarta were following us in your private jet. I have no idea how they got it; Russa (the self-proclaimed 'plane acquisition expert') had told me that your private jet was "perfectly fine" and "we don't need to worry about it.'"

[Hickory]

You see, Overlady, I have previous flying experience with Pan America Airlines. I took control and we were about to safely touch down when a Walmarta strike force neutralized our plane. I honestly have no idea how, although the EMP grenades in Soren's backpack were very suspicious.

After we landed somewhat-safely (we would've died, if not for me) Soren set off a flare, which attracted the Walmarta force. I put up a fight but I was overpowered and barely managed to escape with my life. I started heading toward the Air Force base, hoping to get the weapons and then make a quick landing to pick up the others, but Jukka insisted on coming with. I knew, however, she was only planning to incapacitate me and steal the weapons for her own nefarious needs. I attempted to tell her otherwise, but she Judo Chopped me and I took a few minutes to recover, by then she had gone. I took out my sat phone and called my good friend Tony Stark, who was happy to get rid of his excess weapons. I also asked for assistance with the fighting, but he was busy doing the laundry.

I went to the meeting place in the woods, grabbed the weapons and was about to haul them back to the base when the C-5 crashed down upon the Walmartans. Jukka claimed over the radio that she was "assisting out need by eliminating the enemy". I knew better and continued toward the base, trying to find a replacement C-5. Sky kept saying "No, a different plane." I explained that the C-5 was the best option, but he thought that the AC-130 would suffice. I explained that we needed room for the hovercraft, and he seemed to understand.

Sky and I arrived at the base and loaded the plane. I was about to lift off with Sky when the Walmartans showed up, holding the others hostage. I had devised an escape plan for them, but Sky was all for taking off without them. "Let them suffer," she said. "Let them die."

I managed to use a few well-placed BB's to incapacitate the guards, and the rest piled on the plane. They, however, started causing chaos and mayhem. I attempted to calm them down but Sky yanked a lever that opened the cargo hatch. The missiles fell out but I managed, with the help of Jukka, to grab the hovercraft.

OOC: All of the first few paragraphs happened before and up to the airport meeting. Let me know if I made a mistake.

[Skyblade]

OOC: Sage, Del is out of the game. You might want to edit your post.

BIC: "A few clarifications must be made.

Firstly, the weapons were in the plane when I loaded the teddy bears in. I never messed with them; it must have been someone else. Also, I had a very good reason for the teddy bears. It's true that they're cuddly, but I just said that as a side note. Izeroth deliberately omitted everything else I said about them that was far more important.

I don't know why, but there was a horrifying monster in the plane that is famously known for destroying and killing everything in sight. I believe Sage and Izeroth let it in (I had nothing to do with this). Don't ask me why they would put such a deadly creature in our plane; it may have been a work of direct sabotage. I, being the prepared one as always, knew all about how to stop this monster. It may be cruel, but it has a strange fondness for teddy bears. I knew that if I filled the cargo bay with these stuffed animals, the monster would feel content and soothed and not attack us. So I did this, and watched the monster curl up with the teddy bears, as docile as ever. The other servants have me to thank for saving all our lives.

As for yanking the lever, I never knew that it opened the cargo hatch. I noticed that the guards were attacking us, and I wanted to help the mission. Soren, who said he was an expert on levers, told me that it would release some type of gas that helped soothe people and calm them down. So I pulled it, and to my utter shock, the cargo hatch opened instead."

[Izeroth]

 "The 'monster' was my pet giant ground sloth (don't ask me how I got it, it's a long story). It may have looked ferocious to someone unacquainted with Pleistocene wildlife, but I assure you that it is entirely vegetarian."

[James Gryphon]

"What tipped you off to the fact that it was a vegetarian, the trail of uneaten dead bodies outside the plane?"

"Anyway. Taken out of context, my action might seem unreasonable. As much as I hate to reveal secrets, I got an OK from our commissioner, so I'm free to tell everyone this: To any fraternity cousin in the Order of the Silver Wing, the pilot secret society, a light punch, followed by the passphrase "Got your nose",  is a polite and respectful way to greet someone. I happened to know that the commander was a Winger, and vice versa, because we were initiated at the same time. He was an experienced C-5 pilot, and, as both my fraternity cousin and your Majesty's friend, would have been happy even to fly the plane for us."

"However, Sage was having a spat with Sky, and screamed all kind of nasty names. The guards thought that Sage was talking about them. That was what caused the breakdown of our negotiations. Me and the commander hoped to settle things down, but I guess Jukka, Russa and Amber were too busy practicing their kung fu fighting moves (which were considerably slower than lightning) on the guards to be bothered with things like doing the mission, so the situation degraded from there."

"The commander nevertheless would have cleared our flight as legitimate after we had to leave abruptly... it's just too bad that Russa decided to attack him with a karate chop to the back of his head, putting him into a coma. I'm not sure what her problem was, but we've sure paid for her poor judgment."

[Hickory]

OOC: edited my post. James you might want to as well. Sky, you have some serious charges from me.

BIC: Oh over lady, it was not my fault of the misunderstanding of my insults. Actually
, Izeroth told to guards to overreact to anything and everything.

I was also told by Izeroth that when he let his sloth in that it would merely sit down and act harmless. I only helped him with something that seemed safe. Any misleading information was fed by Izeroth.

[Izeroth]

 "I did not tell the guards to 'overreact to everything'. I merely told them that 'these people can be a little crazy sometimes; I suggest you watch them closely.' Anyone who has seen the chaos my comrades have wrought should understand that suggestion."

"My sloth was completely harmless; it simply sat in the plane and ate leaves throughout the flight. I have no idea where the trail of dead bodies came from, but I suspect it has something to do with the Miniature Death Robot™ Sage tried to bring aboard."

[Skyblade]

"Overlady, I had no legitimate reason to believe that Izeroth and Sage's 'pet' was so innocuous. Nobody told me that crucial detail, after all. It is widely known from news stations, books, and references everywhere that that creature is a deadly killing machine. Common knowledge and common sense told me to put the teddy bears in the cargo just in case. If it really was harmless, then I guess that's a good thing. I'm very sorry for the misunderstanding, but I was doing my best and I didn't have all the information I needed.

Anyway, I would like to add that having the teddy bears didn't have any negative repercussions on the plane or the mission in its entirety.

Now, regarding what I said to Sage. What is up with people deliberately omitting the things I say? I think they're trying to make me look like a fool on purpose. I wanted to go along with the escape plan, and I didn't do anything to impede it. But I think Sage was trying to frame me. He was holding a recorder and kept saying to me, "Don't you want to leave the others? I bet you want to let them suffer and let them die." This pointless act of peer pressure wasted us a full ten minutes we could have been using to rescue our allies.

I kept replying, "No, of course not. Sage, we're wasting time. Let's do that escape plan you were talking about." Sage shrieked, "But I haven't framed you yet!" Finally, because time was running out I said, "FINE! In an alternate universe where nothing makes sense, I would love to let them suffer and let them die." Sage recorded that, most likely to edit it later. He then laughed maniacally and finally cooperated with me to save the others."

[Hickory]

Whoa, whoa. First of all, the "Miniature Death Robot" was actually a priceless collectors item from Hasbro. They must had misprogrammed it, I'll be writing a very scathing letter to the company. Or maybe unleashing the death robot upon the makers. *shrugs*

I was, heh heh, actually recording Sky for a small podcast, which I'm making, heh heh, in an alternate universe. Of course, Sky never mentioned the second recording session in which I had her hooked up to a truth machine, which recording her specifically saying "I hate everybody else and want them destroyed for all eternity." The machine said she was telling the truth.

Oh, and she says that "having the teddy bears didn't have any negative repercussions on the plane or the mission in its entirety."

As you very well know, Miss Overlady, Sky is wrong. Having the teddy bears was a major embarrassment to you, ma'am. If I do say so myself.

[Skyblade]

OOC: I don't want this to go on and on, so I'll try to word this so you don't have to reply, Sage.

IC: "I did say, "I hate everybody else and want them destroyed for all eternity." However, I wasn't referring to the other servants. Why would I say that? I was talking about an old group that used to hold me as a slave. They were horrible, thoughtless robots that tortured me viciously for years on end. Sage was asking me if I like robots, so I said, "I like robots, except these in this particular group. When it comes to those robots, I hate everybody else and want them destroyed for eternity." The "everybody else" was referring to these robots who did this to me even though I didn't do anything wrong.

I don't see how having teddy bears is a major embarrassment to you. On the contrary, everyone knows that teddy bears are seen as a symbol of majesty and power. That's common knowledge. Haven't you noticed famous world leaders holding teddy bears in their photos to demonstrate that?

Anyway, I put the teddy bears to try to save our lives."

[Russa Nodrey]

"I must admit Overlady, I did proclaim myself the plane acquisition expert, but only because James had threatened me with death if I didn't tell everyone that I was an expert and totally in charge. Beforehand, I overheard him talking to himself, he was saying 'Yes! I shall sabotage the plane and everyone will blame Russa because she said that she is the expert and totally in charge! I'm so clever!'.

Is my point not clear, oh wise Overlady?

Also, Me and my sisters did attack the guards, but only because we were mislead. You see, Sage told us that the guards were actually evil and that they were planning to assassinate you, Overlady. Knowing Sage to be a very trustworthy young fellow (at least I thought he was at the time), and willing to do anything to protect you from harm, we decided the best thing to do was to take out the guards. For the same reason I karate chopped the commander."