Overlord's Orders XVI

[Delthion]

OOC: Agreed! And the LaFerarri is so out of control and crazed that it isn't very good.

[Søren]

First of all, Sky's "shields" suck. They're manufactured by Mitsubishi. Mitsubishi is famous for making atrocities of products. Why she would think this was ok to install, I have no idea. Here's exactly how it went down.
Sky had suggested we install shields to protect the cars. But se insisted we use Mitsubishi. I tried to tell her how awful those shields were, but she insisted. Anyway, she said we should test the shields. She gave me a loaded gun, and said "Here, shoot the shields, so we can make sure they work." I did, and of course they collapsed. Sky then hit me on the head.
You see, it was at Sky's request I shoot the shields.

[Skyblade]

"Overlady, please listen to me. I had no idea Mitsubishi shields suck. In fact, I got my info that they were strong shields from this magazine Izeroth gave me. He told me that everything in the magazine was true and to follow its advice.

Soren failed to mention that when he was trying to tell me how awful the shields were, he was speaking Swahili. I have no idea why, especially since he knows I don't understand that language, but it was his choice.

So I simply didn't know. I asked Soren to test the shields, but I said to shoot once. If he shot only once like I asked him to, they would have been fine. Instead, he started shooting like a madman (I have no idea why). So I knocked him out since he was destroying the shields."

[Søren]

Of corse I was speaking Swahili, because Izeroth had said that we should all speak the language. Sky also had agreed, but I guess she really can't speak it. When she told me how many times to shoot, she spoke in Swahili. She must have confused the word "once" with "like crazy". It happens all the time.
So it must have been an issue of miscommunication. As to WHY we were all, at least trying, to speak Swahili, I don't know. Izeroth said that it was essential to the mission, and that he had special orders from yourself, my lady.

[Skyblade]

OOC: I'm going to try to defend in a way that you don't have to reply, Soren

IC: "I tried to learn Swahili, I really did. But Russa stole all my Swahili textbooks and threw them in the Bottomless Pit of Despair Which Nothing Can Escape From (I don't know why).

I spoke Swahili by accident. Iz kept drilling into my head, "Speak Swahili" over and over again. So when I opened my mouth to talk to Soren, I accidentally spoke Swahili. It was an honest mistake, Overlady. I'm sorry. And I had the phrase confused because like I said, I couldn't learn Swahili correctly after Russa stole all my learning devices. I did my best, but the others impeded my efforts."

[Izeroth]

 "When I gave Sky the magazine, I sincerely believed that everything within it was true. The new, stronger shields had just been released earlier that day, you see, and neither I nor the magazine editors were yet aware of the new products. I would have gotten relevant, up-to-date information on the subject from the Mebook news feed, but Soren had somehow managed to disable my account."

"My 'drilling' of the Swahili language likely saved my comrades' lives. Mind-controlling dragons had invaded the garage (no one else noticed them, naturally), and were threatening to doom my fellows to a life of eternal servitude. As any reputable resource on the subject will inform you, the dragons' one weakness is Swahili. They absolutely hate to listen to people speak the language, and will quickly vacate any area where people are speaking it. Without my assistance, our group would've had about as much chance of survival as a goldfish in a shark tank. Surely, you remember how you ordered us to complete the mission using whatever means necessary?"

[Lady Amber]

Dear Overlady, perhaps to Sky and the others it looked like Jukka, Russa, and I were having a paint ball fight, but in reality we were battling evil ghosts sent by the mind-controlling dragons. The evil ghosts can only be killed by paint, and you can only see them if you have special goggles on, which explains why the others couldn't see them. I had first discovered the evil ghosts when I found a pair of goggles lying in the building with a bunch of similar ones next to it. I randomly put them on, and saw the ghosts. I heard them talking; they were hatching a plan to destroy us. Naturally, I gathered my two sisters and told them, but before I could tell the other servants about it, the ghosts attacked, so we had to fight them off. The reason I knew that paint kills them is because I heard one say to his fellow ghost, "Avoid any paint you find, 'cause paint kills you." That was exactly what he said.

Sky also said that Izeroth and I left together. That is not true. I simply had to use the bathroom.

I also had nothing to do with the missing 918.

[Jukka the Sling]

OOC: Claimed post!

[Søren]

Ma'am, I only disabled Izeroth's Mebook account because he's completely inept, technology wise. He asked me too, as a favor to him. I have no idea why he wanted his account disabled.

[Jukka the Sling]

My lady, I can explain. As soon as you dispatched us, the first thing that happened was that Jukka went completely mad. She started yelling about how they had a great deal on shopping carts on Amazon, and she ordered 500 to be delivered to the dealership. When we tried to tell her what she did wrong, she pulled out a paintball gun and shot at us. Something must have happened, because someone hit me over the head with a Porche tire wrench, and tied me up. I woke up in the passenger seat of a 918, upside down with my face where your feet go and my feet where my head should be, doing 225mph at a track  called "The Nurburgring". Izeroth was driving. How exactly they got the Porche to Germany, I have no idea. But I remember every bump on the road and every twist in that 13 mile track. I blacked out again because of the tumbling. I woke up here, ma'am. I have no idea what happened with the paintball fight at the dealership, but I think it's all connected to Jukka and Izeroth.

It might've looked like I was completely mad, but in reality I was only thinking of the preservation of Vinny's dealership.  I'd heard beforehand that he hadn't been selling a lot of cars lately, and being possessed of a caring and philanthropic nature, I was worried about his business.

I love Amazon, so when I discovered that they had a great deal on shopping carts, I was super happy.  "Now," I said to myself, "we can order 500 carts and sell them in three days once the shopping cart stock prices rise!  Then we'll give all the money to Vinny!  He'll be so happy!"  (You see, a friend of mine who works for the stock exchange told me all this, and she's never wrong when it comes to stock predictions.  In fact, she suggested that I buy a bunch of the cheap Amazon carts in preparation for this.)

Just as I was sitting at my computer finalizing the order, the others approached me, telling me that I'd done a bad thing and should cancel the order.  However, I knew what I was doing, and hit 'submit'.  Just then, with the special goggles, I saw one of the ghosts sneaking up behind my dear companions.  My sisters had already warned me, so I grabbed a handy paintball gun and shot over the others' heads at the ghosts.  It might've looked like I was shooting at my fellow servants, but nothing could be further from the truth.

Anyway, later on I heard the ghosts plotting our demise in a corner of the parking lot.  They were sniggering about how they'd tricked Amber into thinking that paint was their weakness.  One stupid young ghost said foolishly, "They'll never know that our weakness is actually shopping carts!"  I was stunned and slipped quietly away.  They never noticed me.

I knew what I had to do, for our lives were all in danger, but I didn't want to alarm the others.  Once the shopping carts arrived, I enlisted Russa's help (Amber was busy with the bookkeeping, which was sadly not that much, as the dealership wasn't doing so well), and we zoomed around the parking lot with shopping carts, killing ghosts left, right, and center.  To do this, we had to crash into them.  I tried not to damage the cars in the process, but it was inevitable.  However, it wasn't that big a deal because Vinny was going to be fully repaid five times over when stock prices rose.

I think I should also mention that the shopping carts were constructed out of high-quality titanium, which is virtually indestructible.  Therefore, the carts sustained no damage.

Also, I feel that you should know that Soren was very unhelpful.  I know this will pain you, but the entire truth is necessary.  You see, Soren decided to construct a very large chicken coop that took up a quarter of the parking lot.  He also bought fifty roosters to inhabit it, and you can imagine the noise that occurred from morning 'til night.  I think this also deterred potential car buyers, for Amber, our bookkeeper, said that sales hit an all-time low during that time.  I told him that it was foolish and unnecessary and that he should take it down or face the Overlady's righteous wrath, but he smirked and told me that it was for the common good, whatever that means.

[Izeroth]

 "While it is true that I have experienced difficulties with modern technology, I hardly need Soren to 'fix' them for me. When I told Soren (who had been annoying me all morning) to 'do me a favor and go do something useful for once', I was not aware that he would interpret this as disabling my Mebook account."

[Russa Nodrey]

...but Russa ran the shopping cart over my leg and damaged it horribly. I couldn't get up or even move, and I was helpless during the rest of the mission...

I can explain Overlady! You see, just as my sisters said, there were malevolent ghosts on the loose. Jukka and I, knowing their only weakness to be shopping carts, tried to stop them. We were succeeding, most of the ghosts had been destroyed. Unfortunately, (with my special goggles) I noticed a ghost standing in front of Sky, it was about to stab her with a sharp and ghostly looking knife. Sky didn't have goggles on so she was unaware of the great danger she was in. I heroically charged the ghost with my shopping cart, but it floated out of the way just in time. I tried to swerve to the left so as to not crash into Sky, but the stupid cart kept trying to turn to the right (you know how carts do). It was all an accident, I was trying to save her life!

...Suddenly, without warning, someone whacked me on the head, knocking me out. The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the driver's seat of a car, staring at the barrel of Russa's loaded M1911. 'If you want to live, drive,' she said. I took the hint and went around the track."

"After we had gone around the track a few times, Russa knocked me out...

"I tried to learn Swahili, I really did. But Russa stole all my Swahili textbooks and threw them in the Bottomless Pit of Despair Which Nothing Can Escape From (I don't know why).

What Izeroth and Sky say is true, I did all that they said I did, but only to protect the Overlady and my fellow servants. You see, during the mission Amber pulled out a gun and said that if I didn't steal Sky's Swahili textbooks and throw them into the Bottomless Pit of Despair Which Nothing Can Escape From and also if I didn't kidnap Izeroth and Soren and take them to Germany, she'd kill my fellow servants and the Overlady. I had to obey.

I might also add that the gun I had was a realistic toy.

[Søren]

OOC: claimed

[Lady Amber]

The gun I pulled out on Russa was not real in the least. Not only that, but I was just playing around. I had no idea she would actually do it. In fact, it seemed to me that she knew I was joking. Her exact words were, "Oh, come on, Amber, you expect me to believe you? Hey, that's a pretty realistic-looking fake gun, where did you get it?"

EDIT: OOC: I added a bit more to my post. I hope that's alright.

[Jukka the Sling]

I failed to mention in my previous statement that each shopping cart represented one share of a shopping cart company.  That was how the whole stock thing was supposed to work.