Overlord's Orders XVI

[Søren]

I was told by Jukka that the documents were legitimate, she got me to join her in what she was doing.

[James Gryphon]

The Overlady sighed and rolled her eyes. "I'm done with this." As soon as she was finished speaking, a teleporter beam picked her up, and she disappeared in a flash.

A nearby door opened, and a wild-eyed, disheveled man skipped into the room, grinning maniacally. "My name's Games Jryphon and I'm very pleased to meet all of you! Your overladyship just traded her fortress, the works, and y'all to me on Gregslist for a bag of pretzels and the deed to Park Place. Anyway, we're going to have sooo much fun together!"

The heir apparent took a device out of his pocket, pointed it at Soren, and pushed a button. A green ray shot out, turning the hapless servant into a parrot. Games took out a small square-shaped biscuit and waved it in the bird's direction. "Sorey want a cracker?"

When Games had finished feeding his new pet, he turned and gave the remaining servants an indulgent smile.

"I always wanted to celebrate my greatness. Go somewhere, rent a nice big room, and set up a party for me. I want cake, balloons, candles, the whole works. Make sure there's plenty of drinks and serving staff; I don't want to depend on any of you. Have it all done in three days. When that time's done, to this minute, I'll drop in and we can kick off my reign in style."

Three days later...

Games appeared in the hotel reception room, took one look around at the servants and the scene, and laughed, scaring the green parrot that was now his constant companion off of his shoulder.

"I knew that you were going to mess up everything I told you to do. Well, that's perfectly all right. If I wanted to get the job done correctly I'd have called a catering company. What I want from you is nothing less than the finest excuses. Tell me all about it! I'm just dying to know how you drank all the drinks, popped all the balloons, ate all the snacks, "misplaced" the ten-layer two-story cake, and turned all of the walls hot pink."

[Skyblade]

"I, being the responsible one, immediately got to dividing tasks. I had Jukka rent the nice, big room and Izeroth call a serving staff - easy things I figured even foolish servants like them wouldn't mess up. They agreed to the job assignment. Everything else, I decided, I would take care of. As the quote goes, If you want something done right, do it yourself.

With my own money, I bought the drinks, cake, balloons, candles, and everything else a good party would need. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Jukka and Iz had actually done their jobs correctly as well.

Afterwards, I was putting up decorations in the party room (while Jukka and Iz were wasting time playing an app called "Kill the Overlord" on Jukka's mePhone, might I add) when the phone rang. I picked it up, seeing as how my allies were too busy with their game. The person on the other side said he was the cake delivery man, and someone needed to go outside and get the cake.

I went outside and got the ten-layer two-story cake. When I came back, I found the drinks all drunk down and the snacks eaten, with juice stains and crumbs copiously found on Jukka and Iz's shirts. I asked what had happened, and Jukka just said, "We got thirsty and hungry, so we consumed all of the Overlord's party stuff. That's perfectly fine, right?"

I was mad. Iz suggested, "Maybe painting all of the walls hot pink will lighten the mood!" I said that was a bad idea, pointing out how hot pink is your most hated color in the history of colors. Iz said he didn't care what you thought  and pulled out a hot pink spraycan thing. I ran to stop him, and Jukka tackled me to the ground. By the time I could get up, Iz had already sprayed the walls.

I demanded that Jukka and Iz calm down so we could do the mission right. They ignored me and said, "Oh! Cake!" both running to the cake I had just gotten for you. I ran in front of the cake and tried to protect it, but they pushed me and I fell inside the giant cake. As I struggled to get out, they got the cake (with me still in  it) and dumped it in the trash can. They then got the trash can and emptied it in the nearest dumpster, closing the lid and locking it (I never knew dumpsters could lock).

It took me a while to get out of the cake, trash can, and locked dumpster. By the time I did and got back, I saw Iz and Jukka sitting in the ruined hotel reception room. The food and drinks were still in Iz and Jukka's stomachs, the walls still your least favorite color, and sometime while I was gone all the balloons had been popped. Meanwhile, Jukka and Iz were back playing the "Kill the Overlord" app and doing nothing about the situation. As soon as I walked in, I said we HAD to fix everything before you showed up. Iz told me to shut up and that he thought you were a (insert expletive here). Jukka added that she had to beat her highscore of killing you in eleven seconds. Right after, you walked in and found us all here. And that's my story, sir."

[Izeroth]

 "Knowing, as I did, that Skyblade had disdain for my work ethic (she had once referred to me as 'the Overlord's mindless drone'), it wasn't surprising when I was delegated the relatively unimportant job of procuring servants for your event. Despite the glaring injustices of the situation, I performed my job as well as I was able, and hired a full staff of droids to serve you and your.... pet.

The 'Kill the Overlord' app was quite useful. You see, it described how loyal servants should act in the event of an attempt on Your Lordship's life, and revealed the various methods of assassins, providing excellent advice on how to thwart their insidious scheming. I tried to explain the app's usefulness to Skyblade, but she (as usual) ignored me.

Once Skyblade had gone to get the cake, Jukka immediately began devouring the food. When I (being genuinely concerned with the food's preservation), ordered her to cease eating it immediately, Jukka threw it at me, thus getting crumbs all over my shirt.

As Skyblade was berating me for something I was entirely unresponsible for, I noticed that a rare fungal mold was growing on one of the walls. Knowing that it would instantly kill anyone who touched it, and that its only weakness was the color pink, I immediately set about removing the deadly fungi via spray can. (I told the others that I was painting in order to 'lighten to mood', so that they wouldn't get freaked out. I planned to later remove the pink paint and repaint the walls with their original color, but Jukka prevented me from doing so, telling me, 'I want the Overlord to see it. It'll be hilarious when he finds out what you did.')

Jukka bolted for the cake with the sole intention of ruining it; I ran in a futile attempt to save the mission. I valiantly fought to keep the cake intact, but Jukka pushed me over, thus causing me to accidentally dump the cake in the trash can. When I attempted to salvage what little remained of the mission's integrity, and stop Jukka from throwing the cake (and Sky) into the dumpster, she drew a tranquilizer gun and shot me in the forehead.

When I awoke, I found myself being ruthlessly interrogated; I told Skyblade to shut up because she was speaking in Nonsense, a made-up language that only she could understand. When Sky then randomly asked me (in English) what I thought of the Overlord, I answered with, 'he's a great guy'. As I would only later discover, 'great guy' means something less than respectful in Sky's imaginary language."

[Skyblade]

"To me it seems rather unreasonable to trust other servants when you've seen, with your very own eyes, their reputation for failing.

As for ignoring Iz, that was never my intention. He must have been trying to speak to me at inopportune moments when I was busy doing something for the party.

When I got thrown in the dumpster, my head hit the wall quite hard, and it was difficult to think straight. I didn't realize until after I'd spoken that I had been using Nonsense, a made-up language Jukka convinced me to create and learn (she said it would help in future missions. I don't know how). Upon realizing this, I switched to English, but by then you had already walked in the room."

[James Gryphon]

Games, with an expectant grin, turned to the only servant who had not spoken. As the seconds ticked by, however, his smile slowly faded. "Well? Get on with it!" When at last it became obvious that the servant had no intention of answering the accusations against her, Games lost all pretense of cordiality. He began ranting and raving in some arcane alien language. After a full minute of this, having apparently run out of words to say, he reached inside his trench coat, pulled out a dangerous looking object, and pressed the red button on its top. A violet ray struck Jukka the Sling, and she seemed to disappear. Games ran over to where she had just been and quickly stomped one foot down on the floor.

"There," he said, a rather malicious smile returning to his face. "That takes care of that louse." He looked up at Izeroth and Skyblade, did a double take, and blinked.

"You're still here? Well, isn't that nice. Isn't that just great. Two more bugs to get in the way." He paused for a moment, apparently pondering something.

"Well, maybe you can do something useful. One of these shoes has a dead bug on its sole now. Go get me a new pair. Oh, and my eight-year-old kid sister Gamie should be getting here pretty shortly. Take her out and get her some ice cream or something, since she can't have any of the cake that you wasted. Meet me back at the fortress when you're done. Get a move on; time's a-wasting."

Some time later...

The servants looked on as Gamie sat in her big brother's lap, crying up a storm. He spoke softly to her, in a manner seemingly unbefitting the galaxy's most notorious criminal. After some time, she seemed to calm down, and even smiled. Games snapped his fingers. A very large, very tall, grey-skinned, grey-clad woman came into the room and made a deep curtsy before the throne. (She was about a foot taller kneeling than the Overlord would have been standing upright). He spoke. "Attend to my sister. I'll be back there with you in just a few minutes." After ruffling Gamie's hair, he let her go, and she skipped away, matron in tow.

Games Jryphon sat up straight in his high throne, and glared down at the servants below.

"You know, I'm starting to see why that other lady thought she'd get out of this business. I'm thinking it might be time to return to my solo career, myself." He paused, tapping his fingers against one of the arms of his chair. He continued, now screaming. "You were supposed to take care of her! Instead I got that. And what is with these ridiculous clown shoes?!"

"Oh, I'm sure your previous ruler was just so sugar-sweet, and all she had to do was to draw you into the rehabilitative embrace of love when you did wrong. Well, your days of being mollycoddled are over! I feel like killing both of you, right now. Unfortunately, I have to spare one of you if you can give me a good enough excuse. Don't ask me why; union regulations. So, let's get this over with. Start talking."

[Izeroth]

"As you know, My Lord, I would never dream of causing physical harm to befall your sister. I exist only to serve you and your immediate family, and my actions have always reflected this. With that in mind, I will relate to you the unfortunate circumstances by which our mission failed.

Upon arrival at the ice-cream shop, I personally paid for Gamie's ice-cream, ignoring some of the more eccentric and/or dangerous flavors (Sky had suggested that we get your sister 'snake-venom and cyanide' flavor) in favor of mint chocolate chip. She seemed to like the ice-cream, and finished it within the span of about thirty seconds. After ensuring that Gamie was not experiencing any allergic reactions, I went to the shoe store to buy you new footwear.

 The shoe store was enormous, and contained more sizes and brands of shoes than I had ever thought possible. As I was checking out the store's inventory, attempting to find a pair of shoes that would perfectly fit your feet, Sky surprise attacked me with a highly-charged stun baton. (The attack was entirely unprovoked-- I suspect that it was either the result of unseen scheming or spontaneous insanity.) The store clerk called security, but it was too late: the mission had already fallen apart. As Sky ran off, leaving me in an incapacitated state, I could faintly hear her muttering about her 'great plan', and how she would find a way to frame me for the entire situation.

 In the town fairground, the annual clown festival happened to be taking place, and Sky (who has repeatedly admitted to me that she is obsessed with clowns and all things related to them) couldn't resist forcing Gamie to attend. Such ridiculous games as 'shoe decoration' and 'pie throwing' occurred; needless to say, Sky was a participant in the former.

By the time I had awoken from my stunned state, Sky and Gamie (who was now inconsolable due to clown-induced trauma) had already left via a personal teleportation device. I was forced to take the afternoon train back to your base, and had the great misfortune of sharing the car with a traveling accordion group."

[Skyblade]

Skyblade stepped forth and bowed respectfully to Games Jryphon before speaking.

"This, sir, is my perspective.

Once we had arrived at the ice cream shop, I noticed the owners saying they were pulling a prank. The seemingly innocuous ice cream flavors were in reality detrimental to bodily functions, and the ones labeled to be dangerous were actually perfectly harmless. They even explicitly told me and Iz about this, and we saw everyone eating and recommending the flavor titled "snake-venom and cyanide". I was about to order this when Iz – for reasons I didn't know – used money he had unlawfully stolen from me a few weeks ago to order mint chocolate chip.

"Excuse me, that ice cream is debilitating to the body," said an owner of the shop.

Iz told him he didn't care. When I tried to stop him from letting Game eat the ice cream, he attacked me with a stun baton he had brought along to discipline Gamie (I, for one, disapproved). The ice cream may have tasted good, but its effect was bad.

I have a friend who is able to read minds, and he had read Iz's mind. According to him, Iz was planning to use his phone to do something very bad to Gamie when we got to the shoe store. Considering that this friend is incapable of lying and Iz had done enough questionable things in the past that something like this wasn't a surprise, I realized I had to do act.

But first I had to help Gamie, who was starting to suffocate. (Iz had already disappeared to another part of the store and didn't see any of this). The suffocating had been the health effect written on the mint chocolate ice cream. I quickly performed the right medical procedure and saved her life.

Afterwards, I got the stun baton and used it on Iz. I meant to stun him for only a short period of time, just enough for me to take the phone and dispose of it. But before the mission Iz had been teaching me how to use the baton, and he must have taught me incorrectly, for when I pressed a button he had told me corresponded to five minutes it stunned him for an hour.

And I certainly had great plans. "Saving your sister's life" is great. As for framing Iz, I was referring to that picture party you said you would throw us if we did the mission correctly. If I saved the mission, Iz would get his picture taken and put in a frame.

The security were running over to help me move Iz to a safe place while he was stunned. Even though Iz was a traitor, I figured you wouldn't be happy if I let him die on a mission. So the security and I put him in a safe place, while keeping an eye on Gamie (who was happy now that I had saved her life).

Right after this, I was about to get back to Iz when a clown tapped my shoulder. Iz had called his team via phone and bribed the clowns into kidnapping and torturing Gamie. I had been too late in stopping Iz's plan – he must have called the clowns while I was busy saving Gamie's life. I had to force Gamie into complying with the clowns, who wanted us to go to a clown festival, or they would have killed her. I had even bought the perfect shoes for you, sir, but they destroyed them.

Yes, I am obsessed with clowns: I am so scared of them I can't stop thinking of them. The clowns knocked us out and we woke up in a nearby fair and were forced to play stupid games. All this time, I tried to comfort Gamie, but it was no use because the clowns knocked me out with a file cabinet. I woke up outside the fair with Gamie screaming about clowns. Even though she came back crying, Overlord, she was actually doing even worse before I managed to calm her down just a little. I came back as soon as possible, knowing you could help her better and that the police would escort Iz back through the afternoon train."

[Izeroth]

 Sky might (and, indeed, should) have mentioned that 'everyone' in the shop was suffering from Poor Judgement Syndrome, an unfortunate sickness that causes one to make unwise choices. (Due to the sickness' short lifespan, none of us were in danger of getting it.) These poor people, having been damaged by the disease, now thought that eating a deadly poison would be good for them. This was explained to Skyblade, but she insisted that there was nothing to fear from the bizarre flavor. The $5 I used to buy the ice-cream had been given to me a week prior by Sky, (under the laws of the Outer Rim United Republics, giving someone a gift constitutes theft) thus making me a 'thief'.

The shop's owner was clearly suffering from the disease, and gave Sky his 'advice' as he was being dragged away by a hazmat crew. I said that I 'didn't care' after he grabbed me by the collar and began talking in gibberish. The stun baton I had brought along to 'discipline' Gamie was set to be harmless; I had intended to use its interactive light display to teach Gamie the basics of the LED system (as all competent teachers will tell you, teaching increases knowledge, and knowledge increases discipline). I 'attacked' Sky with the baton after she tried to prevent me from leaving the building; it caused no injury whatsoever, and had force roughly equivalent to that of a pillow.

Sky's 'friend' (a random person she had met on the street a few minutes ago) was indeed a mind-reader. However, he was a denizen of the Outer Rim United Republic, a unique state in which (as I've mentioned before) practically all laws have been turned upside down. This person's poor, misguided conscience thought that truth was a lie, and that telling someone an untruth would be true honesty. (So, this 'friend' was technically incapable of 'lying'.) He told Sky of my 'evil' plans through this twisted, confusing system of moral opposites.

 Gamie suffocated because Sky put the ice-cream packaging around her head; the health effect on the label stated that 'packaging may cause suffocation if airways are blocked.'

When I had originally instructed Sky in the use of the stun baton, I did indeed tell her that the 'shock' button knocked one out for five minutes. What she fails to mention, however, is that I was referencing the normal setting; I had never considered that Sky would set the stun baton to 'very painful' before shocking me.

'Great' is a highly relative term; I do not consider Sky's plans to have been even moderately within the definition of the word. As for the picture, I have to admit that I've always been a fan of personal portraits.

I hardly bribed the clowns; they were traveling as part of a circus exhibition (part of my 'team' in that I had invested stock in their circus company.) The clowns had an excellent reputation in every city they had visited, and I simply paid them to entertain Gamie; I had no idea that their idea of entertainment was kidnapping and torture. (Sky had, in fact, earlier lauded me for proposing the idea of hiring clowns, and specifically suggested this company.)

[Skyblade]

"Actually, a lot of this was caused by Iz's own actions.

I said that I 'didn't care' after he grabbed me by the collar and began talking in gibberish.

Yes, Iz, in gibberish. The language you created to confuse me and subtly wreck the entire mission.

Overlord, I must add that while we were going to the ice cream shop, Iz contacted everyone in the world and told them to speak in gibberish* whenever they had to say something important and that I actually needed to know. I watched, powerless, as he did so (he had paralyzed me with another stun baton he had brought along ("Gotta have a backup weapon to be successful in destroying this mission", he had proclaimed), and I had been completely immobilized as he did this).

Now, something to know about gibberish is that everyone can comprehend and communicate in it except me.

Once we got to the ice cream shop, I was completely confused. Some people were saying, in perfect English, that the shop was pulling a prank and the dangerous flavors were actually safe. Meanwhile, some people were speaking gibberish. There was no way for me to understand what they were saying, whether anybody translated it or not. As Iz instructed them, they said everything about the Poor Judgment Syndrome in gibberish and I didn't understand. Also, the hazmat crew was dressed up like normal shop owners, and I thought they were just playing around as part of the prank. There was no clue indicating anything of this Poor Judgment Syndrome. Is it my fault they were speaking in a language I didn't know? Iz was the one who told them to do so.

When Iz attacked me with the stun baton, it wasn't the baton that caused pain. It was how he pushed me into a vat of dangerous lava as he did so. I almost died.

Well, how on earth was I to know that my friend was from the Outer Rim whatever it's called place? In fact, it was Iz himself who never mentioned ANYTHING about the Outer Rim United Republic or its laws (I'm barely hearing about this place and its weird laws just now). Iz was the one who told me that this friend could be trusted and everything he said was true. Also, Iz said that while using a legitimate truth machine on himself to prove that it wasn't some type of trick.

The health effect about the packaging causing suffocation was written in gibberish, and I didn't understand it. In English, though, the packaging said, verbatim, "put this packaging over a child's head to bless them". Little did I know Iz had written both messages in to trick me.

Well, Iz was speaking in gibberish when he taught me about the stun baton. When I insisted he speak in a language I actually knew, he refused, and I just had to do my best to use the stun baton with what I knew.

Leaving out details again...I lauded Iz for proposing the idea of hiring clowns (and not these clowns, a different and harmless group of clowns) for cleaning our base (it's always a mess because Iz likes to invite his loud and messy friends of his "Destroy the Overlord" club over and they leave the place a junkyard). And I suggested that the clowns who torture and kidnap be thrown into jail.

Also, the clowns have excellent reputation in every city they visited because fear of the clowns makes the people who live there lie about them. Also, while it is not well known that the clowns kidnap and torture, it is common knowledge that they enjoy murdering all children...we knew this, Iz. I said to keep away from them. I never recommended the clowns for anything except throwing them in jail where they lawfully belong."

*Gibberish - a made-up language of Iz, originally created to confuse me and cause havoc in our missions

[Izeroth]

 "As we were going to the Ice Cream shop, my phone notified me that a K'yrhal (an insectoid species from the center of the galaxy) invasion fleet had positioned itself around the Earth. The Grand Emperor of the K'yrhal, posting on the Empire's Mebook page, said that their high command had received a message from Skyblade. According to the Emperor, Sky had stated that earth was in dire need of language reform, and ordered the fleet to annihilate the Human race should they refuse to comply with its requests. (I was completely unaware that such a message existed; Sky had never told me anything about it.)

When I contacted them via hologram, the aliens gave me an ultimatum: get almost all of Earth's inhabitants to (in their exact words) 'speak in a made-up language whenever they're saying anything important that Skyblade needs to know,' or leave Earth at the mercy of the fleet's powerful plasma artillery. The terms were non-negotiable; the aliens told me that Sky had demanded they be followed to the letter.

When I asked Sky about the message, she (completely of her own will, with no coercion whatsoever) drew a deadly ion pistol and attempted to pulverize me. I dodged the blast, and stunned her in order to prevent injury to myself or others. 'Gotta have a backup weapon to be successful in not destroying this mission,' I had noted.

Contacting the entire world's population via a telepathic communication device, I informed them of the great danger that the planet was in. Understanding the need for emergency measure, they began speaking in Gibberish, a made-up language of my own design. If Skyblade was confused by what they said, she has no one to blame but herself; she was responsible for the language's creation, after all.

When I attacked Skyblade with the stun baton, I had no intention of causing her any harm. The vat of lava (in Skyblade's own handwriting) said that its contents were entirely safe, and would only cause one minor discomfort. After I realized the untruth of the writing on the vat, I risked my own life to haul Skyblade out of the lava, and sustained several horrible burns in the process.

I had never mentioned anything about the Outer Rim United Republic (ORUR) or its laws because the information had never before been relevant. (I was not aware that this stranger came from the ORUR until after his meeting with Skyblade, and assumed that he was a simple bystander.) When I told Sky that he 'could be trusted' and that 'everything he said was true,' with the 'legitimate truth machine,' I sincerely thought it applied to our standards of truth; only later would I learn that the machine had been set to settings proscribed by the 'legitimate' ORUR system, by Skyblade herself.

Yes, I wrote both messages on the wrapper to 'trick' Skyblade (she's convinced that all health advisories are a trick). As I had repeatedly (in English) explained, 'bless' means 'suffocate' in wrapper speak, while Gibberish serves to reiterate the message to Gibberish-speakers (of which 99.9999% of the world's population was then composed) and form the wrapper's scanning code. Skyblade, having taken a course in healthcare recently, was quite well aware of what happens when a wrapper is placed over a child's head.

I was speaking in Gibberish when I taught Sky about the stun baton due to planetary laws; she would have known this, having been responsible for instituting said laws. There were numerous booklets in English that explained how to use the baton, but Skyblade refused to read them.

I invite my 'friends' over to the 'Destroy the Overlord' club in order to root out traitors to Your Lordship. Anyone who says anything against you is, of course, thrown in the dungeons.

 Sky had suggested that the clowns 'who torture and kidnap' be thrown into jail, but never specified exactly who those clowns were. The clowns I hired, for all apparent intents and purposes, did indeed have an excellent reputation (Skyblade knew that the people who were visited by the clowns always lied about them, but she chose to withhold this information from me.) I knew that they enjoy 'murdering' (fair-speak for entertaining) all children; all of the major fair reviewers repeatedly awarded them 'best source of child entertainment' medals specifically because of this. Sky had recommended throwing them in jail (jail is, again, fair-speak for the Office of Childcare Management), but I had decided not to do that, thinking that it wouldn't be a good idea for them to have such important positions.

[James Gryphon]

Games listened carefully to his servants prattle on, looking honestly perplexed at the the tangled web they wove. When they finally stopped speaking, he sighed and stood up.

"Well, I can't say that I'm angry at you anymore." He paused for a moment, listening for the sighs of relief he expected to come. "No... now I'm FURIOUS."

"What do you think you're playing at to disobey all of my instructions, try to kill my own sister, and then come in here and tell me such a load of nonsense? Do you think old Games's losing a step? Well, maybe I am... to have ever entrusted you with anything at all."

"You know, though, there is one reason I'm glad this little misadventure took place. I've always held a hatred in my heart for all clown-kind. I'd almost forgotten about it, but your insolent incompetence has reminded me of the necessity of dealing with them." Games pressed a button on his chair. A microphone popped out from the ceiling, and he spoke into it. "Lord Nader. Listen up. Every single clown is now an enemy of the Empire. Go to the planet Earth and wipe them out... all of them." He clicked the device back off and glared back down at the two servants.

"I can forgive a lot of things, but I can never forgive alleged servants of mine for cavorting with clowns. Skyblade. Your punishment is to live the rest of your miserable life as a clown. From now on, whenever you look in the mirror, you will see a clown face. Your body will be permanently clownformed; no amount of washing or surgery will be able to change it back. All the clothes you wear will be clown clothes, including these despicable clown shoes. If you can convince another clown to marry you, you will bear children who will be born as clowns, not humans. You can try to get a normal job, but I expect your only future will be to work in the circus, where you will be surrounded by your kind every day. I feel this is an appropriate punishment for you."

Games pulled a lever, and Skyblade fell into a bubbling vat of radioactive clown makeup. She emerged, sobbing, as that which she most feared. Games smiled, then turned to look at Izeroth.

"Wipe that stupid smirk off your face. You're not getting off any easier. I know your heart is almost as ambitious and megalomaniacal as mine, so I've decided that the best way to punish you is to crush your dreams. You see, I found out from your old boss that this fortress and everything that goes with it are in terrible shape. The foundation is cracked and things are liable to start collapsing here at any minute. So, I'm taking what's mine and leaving this mess to you. You will reign as the next ruler from this crumbling castle. As Overlord, you will acquire terrible servants ten times worse than yourself. You'll give them orders, but they'll never carry them out successfully. Your every whim will always be thwarted by their malicious incompetence. All your restless days and sleepless nights will be spent in constant fear of what they will do next to ruin your life. You'll punish them, but things will only get worse. Eventually, with your hopes dashed, you will retire in shame and disgrace as a wretched, lonely old man, and your sorriest servant will succeed you."

Done pronouncing his judgments, Games skipped out of the room, cackling maniacally. A couple of minutes later, a big rocket ship blasted off of the landing pad in the backyard. The ex-servants saw Gamie, who was holding a big cookie in one hand, wave to them through one of the portholes; then, in the blink of an eye, the ship was gone. They never saw Games or his family again.

---

Well, that wraps it up for this round. It was a long time coming, so I hope this ending is satisfactory. If anybody wants to know why they were eliminated, please feel free to contact me, and I'll try to help clarify it for you. Special thanks go to Mhera, and all of the players for making this such an experience. Finally, best of luck to Izeroth; I hope the next round is even better, and finished in a more timely fashion, than this one.

[Skyblade]

Kudos, Iz! You deserve it.

I apologize for my mistakes throughout this game.

[Hickory]

With Izeroth doing the next round, it should be full of the Galactic Empire, poisons, and angry scorpions, I'm sure.

[James Gryphon]

I apologize for my mistakes throughout this game.

Stop.

You're the most successful player that's never actually hosted a game, and as far as I know nobody else has ever made the final phase three consecutive times.

This is the way records are made. If you join the next one and do your best, and if I get around to actually playing through an entire round, I think there's a good chance we'll meet in the last stage.