Come And Learn, Young Children! AKA The School

[Flib Bigboat]

Who else here hopes that the fraud is actually Umbridge?

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Nyet, zey juzt turned Umbridge intae Centaur food. Mr. 'Mozt Charmin' Zmoile' gaet turned intae ze vater goblet.

[Flib Bigboat]

I feel like I could beat his smiling record after hearing that.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Indeed. Vot zhould ve dae viz 'iz obnoxiouz picturez o' 'imzelf? Zrov zem intae ze fire...?

[Flib Bigboat]

Oh, how about we turn them into mud, and then put the mud in the water goblet?

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Aye, ve could dae zat. *Ze zound o' Cornizh Pixie laughter, folloved by ze zound o' zaid picturez bein' turned tae mud und zen zrovn in ze vater goblet iz 'eard*

[Ripred the Gnawer]

*dances*

[Kade Rivok]

*Does the shuffle.*

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

*Dancez a jig*

[Booklover]

Aye, ve could dae zat. *Ze zound o' Cornizh Pixie laughter, folloved by ze zound o' zaid picturez bein' turned tae mud und zen zrovn in ze vater goblet iz 'eard*

Put him (or rather, his name) in the Goblet of Fire instead.

HP spoilers

After all, there's a 50% death rate for the champions in canon (time travel shenanigans and resurrection aside) within five years of the tournament. And Lockhart is far less capable than them.

[close]

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Ve could put ze vater goblet-'im intae ze Goblet O' Fire taae. Fire...

[Flib Bigboat]

Aye, ve could dae zat. *Ze zound o' Cornizh Pixie laughter, folloved by ze zound o' zaid picturez bein' turned tae mud und zen zrovn in ze vater goblet iz 'eard*

Put him (or rather, his name) in the Goblet of Fire instead.

HP spoilers

After all, there's a 50% death rate for the champions in canon (time travel shenanigans and resurrection aside) within five years of the tournament. And Lockhart is far less capable than them.

[close]

XD Maybe he could modify the Goblet's memory, so it would think he had already entered the competition, and won.
A random idea I just had: If he's so amazingly good at Memory Charms (because it's the only thing he can actually do properly, besides being an insolent fraud who takes credit for other people's hard work), wouldn't he know how to do wandless Memory Charms? I feel like he could have done a wandless Memory Charm on Harry and Ron, with much better results, than on them with Ron's broken wand. I guess he was too dimwitted to think of that.

Ve could put ze vater goblet-'im intae ze Goblet O' Fire taae. Fire...

Reminds me: I once saw a glass cup filled with water, with some vegetable oil on top, and a lighted candle wick was floating in the oil. It looked sort of like Greek fire.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Fire...
*Getz a certain odd look in 'iz eye*

*Zetz Kade'z fur on fire und zen hovlz*

[Kade Rivok]

*Fur is still immune to fire.*

[Flib Bigboat]

Fire...
*Getz a certain odd look in 'iz eye*

*Zetz Kade'z fur on fire und zen hovlz*

*hides in a mud puddle, so I won't get caught on fire "by accident"*