Million Dollars, but. . .

[One-Eye the wildcat]

I already am. 

MDB day no longer exists.

[Verdauga]

Done.
You get a million dollars, but you can never use abbreviations.

[Sebias of Redwall]

Totes!

MDB you can never use a laptop. (But you can use a phone)

[Verdauga]

........Yes. I'll get a desktop.
You get a million dollars but you must communicate via letters. (You can still use the forums, and talk to people face to face.)

[Sebias of Redwall]

Hmm... No.

MDB you can never read a book again.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Absolutely not!

MDB you lose your thumbs.

[Booklover]

No. That would make so many things a lot harder. Playing violin, for example.
MDB you have to listen to a drummer who doesn't know the meaning of anything quieter than fortissimo all day for the rest of your life.

[Verdauga]

No.

You would get a million dollars, but you have to listen to a violinist who is intentionally out of tune.

[Booklover]

Yes. Easy enough, I just play a short piece, intentionally out of tune, and as you didn't specify how long it would be for, that will (why does it keep giving will a capital letter?) be fine.

.emit eht lla sdrawkcab etirw ot evah uoy BDM

[Verdauga]

.oN

I've decided you can have your million dollars.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Thanks!

MDB you have to write two thousand words a day for a year and, if you don't, certain doom will follow.

[Booklover]

I mean, it would motivate me to write. But chances are there would be one day that I was unable to write. So no.

MDB you are never allowed to read the last chapter of a book.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Sure. I'll just get somebody in my family to read it to me aloud, or I'll find it on YouTube.

MDB you can only write two hundred words in each document thing, so anything longer than that has to be split between more than one document.

[Booklover]

No.
MDB you always have to use the biggest font.

[shisteer of nothing much]

No.
MDB you have to carry it round in ten cent coins. (or the smallest currency valid in your country)