Redwall Isn't Safe Anymore! (Is Redwall as Safe as they Say it is? Part Two)

[Ashleg]

Duncan glanced over at all the ruckus.
"Good scoff, wasted!" The hare moaned. "That Stumbly's gonna have to learn a thing or two about wastin' the bally food."

Rapshade hurried over there and began cleaning without so much as a word. He wanted to draw the least amount of attention to himself as possible, though that didn't seem like it would happen any time soon with Mortembell yelling out his name.

Roscoe patted Stumbly on the back, watching the scene through slitted eyes.
"Ey, fox, know any songs? Somebeast should sing."

[LT Sandpaw]

Bracklew ducked his head not want anybeast to point him out. Truth was Bracklew could sing, and he could sing well. He used to be very popular to make a tune two seasons back. However he had quit the practice, and hated the idea of somebeast picking him out and asking him to sing.

Petu on the other paw, had no such qualms. Taking Roscue's words to heart the rabbit stood, balancing himself upon the bench and munching on a loaf of nutbread he made himself heard over the hall.

"Ladies and gentlebeasts. I would gladly sing for your enjoyment this evening. I have an excellent voice, and unrivaled talent."

"No ye don', ye sound like a drownin' fish." Aver accuses from his seat, still keeping one eye on Rapshade. Petu shot a venomous glare over at the otter before turning back to his more accepting audience.

"Does anybeast wish to hear me sing?"

[Ashleg]

Duncan gave Aver a good wink and rose to his paws, calling to Petu, "I'd love to hear you sing, Petu, wot wot!"
The Abbot voiced his agreement, and so did Fang.
Roscoe shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Oh, what th' 'eck. Yer not Mortembell, but go ahead."

[Groddil]

"He cin be as bad at singin' as a throatless frog, but 'ee'd still be better than me. Go on, Petu!"

[LT Sandpaw]

Egged on by the watching beasts Petu swelled his thin chest and broke into song. Or at least it slightly resembled a song, it sounded more, as Aver had put it, like a drowning fish.

"Hey there's a leaf in the forest,
In a forest of leaves.
Sing a song for the Fall,
In the glory of Spring.
Time to laugh,
Time to cry.
Time to feast,
Time to fly.
Should that happen I'll open up my eyes,
And wonder if the earth is round?"

The song, if it could be called that was supposed to continue for several more lines. However a dibbun otter deciding the save everybeast's ears, hurled a pawful of pudding into Petu's open mouth. The rabbit's ears stuck straight up in surprise and he sat back down quickly as the Abbeybeast's erupted in laughter. Swallowing the mouthful of pudding he shook his head laughing along with everyone else.

"Haha, good shot you little blighter. Fine if you critics don't like my warbling have somebeast else sing."

[Ashleg]

Roscoe started booing halfway through the song and halted contentedly when the snippy young otter dealt Petu a faceful of pudding.
"Ya sounded like a drownin' fish alright, a drownin' fish that got poisoned an' stabbed in th' throat three times over!"
Grant elbowed him; not enough to hurt, but enough to get the point across.
"Don't be rude. I think that Petu's song was good as long as he was trying."

So he gets a participation award? Stupid rabbit.
Thought Rapshade as he scrubbed away at the mess on all fours. A little bit more and it'd be all clean. Thank goodness.

[Groddil]

Mortembell gingerly uncovered her ears and winced.
"Eesh, maybe I AM a better singer than him. Hey, anybeast wanna see a magic trick? I can make Rapshade disappear..."

[Ashleg]

"Doubt it. Lest yer magic," Roscoe said, piling more food on his plate.
Fangfang chuckled nervously and cast a glance at Drubble.
"Er, how 'bout I finish th' story instead?" He suggested.
The rat's idea was quickly shot down by Duncan and a few others.

"Petu's song makes me cringe less than that story of yours," Rapshade muttered under his breath. The ferret stood up and retreated to the corner.

[LT Sandpaw]

Having eaten his fill and not wanting to stay any longer in the stuffy Great Hall Bracklew slipped out. Breathing in the cool evening air he crossed the snow covered ground. He would do one last round of the walls before turning in for the night.

The dour look that Maxy had managed to wipe away returned to his face as he walked. The call of some bird made his ears flick up and he looked skyward trying to spot the flyer. He saw only the stars twinkling overhead.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Somebeast tell a story, a good one." Petu suggested scooping out some more salad and pie slices onto his plate. He glanced quickly at Fangfang. "Weren't you trying to tell some story earlier?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

A large crow circled over the Abbey. She let out a loud croak sounding out her victory. She had found it. Twisting though the air she sped off into the night sky.

[Ashleg]

"He was, wot, but it wasn't in any way a good one!" Duncan said, stuffing a hot scone into his mouth.
"Anybeast know a story that's actually decent?"

[Groddil]

Mortembell shrugged.
"I might know a tale or two...Anybeast want t'hear it?"

[Ashleg]

"Me!" Exclaimed Maxy, hopping up and down on his chair.
"Sure, Mortembell, let's hear it." Said Duncan.

Back in his place, Rapshade gave a quiet little snort.
The story had better not be about me, he thought, folding his arms.

[Groddil]

Mortembell cleared her throat and began to speak.
"Very well...I was going through the Abbey's archives, and I found something rather intriguing...Our tale begins some seasons ago, in the time of Abbess Posybud..."

*****

"Mother Abbess, Mother Abbess!"
Posybud, a graying old hogmaid dressed in the formal robe of Abbess, gave a weary sigh. Shaking her head slightly, Posybud disinterestedly turned her gaze to the squirrel running towards her. Placing down her teacup, the Abbess raised an eyebrow at the approaching creature.
"Yes, Crablin?"
Crablin stopped to catch his breath, gulping down a beaker of October Ale.
"Mmm, that hit the spot...Abbess Posybud, you have to come to the walltop, right now!"
Posybud daintily rose from her chair.
"Why? I demand to know why you're running around like a madbeast, demanding that your Abbess join in the chaos."
Crablin was already halfway to the door when he called back to her.
"There's no time to explain, just hurry!"
Her tea forgotten, Posybud set after the squirrel with a quickened pace, holding her robe off the ground. Crablin held the door for the hedgehog as she made her way across the lawn towards the wallsteps. As she climbed to the top of the wall, Posybud noticed a large crowd of Redwallers staring over the battlements in awe. The Abbess joined them, and what she saw made her gasp in horror...

[Ashleg]

The Great Hall grew quiet as Redwallers and visitors alike listened intently to Mortembell.
Suddenly Max jerked back in his seat. "'Dissa scary story! I don' like it!" The squirrel exclaimed, hopping in his chair.
"I don' like it don' like it don' like it!"

[Groddil]

Mortembell shot an icy glance at the squirrel. Drubble toddled over to Max and hauled him onto his shoulders.
"Cumm on zurr, ye don' 'ave t'listen. Yurr an' oi cin go down t'me cellar an' sample th'drinks, what do 'ee say about that, burr aye?"